What If…? “X-Men: The Movie” Debuted in 1987?

Last week, Marvel unleashed the trailer for “X-Men ’97,” the sequel to the series from FOX Kids from the nineties that continues the saga of the 1990’s iteration of the X-Men.

It was a time when they were massively popular, one of the big moneymakers for Marvel, and were given a variety of excellent characters. The X-Men property has been around for decades, and around the nineties, Marvel began developing the ideal “X-Men” movie. It wasn’t until the year 2000 that we finally got the “X-Men” movie.

But I think “X-Men” would have also made a great eighties action film, so I went back and cast an “X-Men” movie if it were developed, and cast in 1987! What if…?

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Living Hardcore: “School of Rock” at 20

One of the reasons I’ve been such a rabid fan of Richard Linklater over the years is that he’s able to jump back and forth between excellent indie films, to accessible mainstream films. It’s amazing that the same man that gave us the cerebral existential masterpiece “Waking Life” is the same guy that gave us the rock and roll classic “School of Rock.” Linklater’s family comedy is not just a musical gem, but also one that manages to appeal to the genius of classic rock.

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Rest in Peace, Cartoon Network (1992-2023)

Back in the heyday of cable television, channels were all aimed toward a certain market and fan base. If you loved science fiction there was a channel for you. If you loved medical science, there was a channel or you. If you love romance movies, there was a channel. And surely enough there was the Cartoon Network. Cartoon Network offered up cartoons twenty four hours around the clock and in 1992 they guaranteed a complete line up of cartoons you couldn’t find anywhere. Their line up consisted mainly of Hanna Barbera since they were owned by Warner, so for pretty much anything non-Disney, Cartoon Network had.

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“Airborne” at 30: Still The Fantastic 90’s Bonanza

In the 1990’s everything was “Extreme” or “Mega.” Everything had to be what with the introduction of things like X Games, which gave way to a huge tidal wave of things that were more adrenaline fueled, faster, and often times advertised “This isn’t your daddy’s:” Insert product here. Along with the sports being more extreme, the movies were more extreme, and the 1990’s carried over the skateboard generation from the 1980’s. Where the massive influx of skateboard movies permeated cult cinema, the 1990’s were where there were even more efforts to integrate it in to mainstream cinema. While it didn’t quite succeed (we did get “Brink!”, I guess), we did manage to get great films like my childhood favorite “Airborne.”

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At 25 “Halloween: H20” is Still a Horror Milestone

I can still remember sitting in the theater among the crowds watching as the audience sat expecting Michael to get away. Then Laurie took the swipe with her axe lopping his head off clean. I can still remember hearing the audience offer an audible gasp in sheer shock. This was it. It was done. Michael was dead. Laurie had beaten her demons. But then there came “Resurrection,” and then “Halloween (2018).” Jamie Lee Curtis wanted nothing to do with Halloween for a long time, and then she took on the role of Laurie one last time, but then killed her off in “Resurrection.” One last time. But then she re-emerges years later for “Halloween” in 2018 to reprise Laurie Strode yet again.

I wish Jamie Lee Curtis would make up her mind already. I digress.

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Welcome to My Nightmare: “Freddy vs. Jason” 20 Years Later

One of the most interesting experiences of my life in a movie theater happened during “Freddy vs. Jason.” It was interesting in that it showed how strong my colon could be.

Stick with me.

I, like every other horror geek in America, during the beginning of the internet, were anxiously following every update of “Freddy vs. Jason” and its glacial development. The movie had been in development for over a few decades, and the anticipation only became even more feverish with the cameo of Freddy Krueger in the end of “Jason Goes to Hell.” For what I’m assuming was meant to be a little elbow nudge to the fans, transformed in to an even more heated demand for Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees to meet on the big screen.

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“Fun Size”: The Halloween Treat That Deserves More Love

Along with “Crybaby Lane,” 2012’s “Fun Size” is one of the bastard children of Nickelodeon Studios that they like to pretend doesn’t exist. It wouldn’t be the first time they hung one of their stars out to dry, and it certainly won’t be the last. Say what you want about the legacy of Nickelodeon, but their nastiness is almost equal to their innovation and creativity. Nevertheless, “Fun Size” is one of the very few Halloween themed movies that have nothing to do with the horror genre.

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“Mask of the Phantasm” is Still the Best Batman Movie Ever Made

We can get argue about Batman in the movies all day long but when it comes down to it the best Batman movie I’ve ever seen is “Mask of the Phantasm.” It’s shocking that the movie initially didn’t do well at the box office since Batman was still a hot property in the 1990’s. Back in 1989 when “Batman” was unleashed, wearing his symbol on a button or t shirt or hat was like a fashion statement, while in 1992 Michelle Pfeiffer just made wave portraying Catwoman in “Batman Returns.”

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