BAD MOVIE MONDAY: SHOCKING DARK (1989)

With the whole world of art on the very brink of an Armageddon caused by the glorified plagiarism software that is A.I. I thought I’d lighten the mood a bit and write a review of a thirty-five year old Italian exploitation movie that didn’t need a complicated algorithm to plagiarize a James Cameron movie. It did it manually. Tubi calls it Shocking Dark, which is also the name of the film’s 2018 North American Blu-ray release, but its official and original title in Italy was Terminator II. It was called that because, in typical confusing Italian movie fashion, it was ripping off Aliens. I guess the producers were trying to pull the old switcheroo on us by pretending to have made a crappy pseudo-sequel to one James Cameron film so we wouldn’t notice that they were actually stealing from a completely different James Cameron film. Didn’t work. Anyway, let’s review this particularly nutty turd directed by the legendary Bruno Mattei.

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Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)

After the startling success of “Avatar” James Cameron spent almost two decades crafting a sequel. It’s a sequel that is—well, it’s basically “Avatar” all over again with his blue Thundercats. Except it has water. That might seem like I’m undermining the movie but I’m really not. Everything is essentially the same, save for more characters. Cameron injects the same clumsy themes about war, capitalism, racism, the fragility of the environment, and the oh-so-noble savage; except now he’s able to introduce his love for the ocean too.

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The 5 Worst Films I Saw In 1997

I loved 1997, warts and all. It was a really rough, difficult, but fun, and exciting year for me, so I remember it for the good and bad. I can be accused of wearing rose colored glasses for 1997 and in a way you’d be correct, but I just had so much fun that year. Even being forced to attend Summer School wasn’t that bad, when all was said and done.

In either case, these are five of the worst films I saw in 1997.

How was 1997 for you?

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TV on DVD: Cursed Films: Season One [Blu-Ray]/James Cameron’s Story of Science Fiction (DVD)

Was “The Crow” cursed? Did “Poltergeist” bring a hex upon the entire cast? Were there real satanic forces behind “The Exorcist”? Did “Twilight Zone: The Movie” conjure up bad luck and ultimately a curse? Well, hell no on all fronts. The thing about Cursed Films (now on Blu-Ray from Shudder and Image Entertainment), is that if you’re a movie buff and horror fan, you’ve heard about literally everything that’s explored in “Cursed Films.” At five episodes and thirty minutes an episode, “Cursed Films” basically goes over the same material we’ve seen or read about a thousand times but in greater length.

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Piranha II: The Spawning (1981): Collector’s Edition [Blu-Ray]

James Cameron is one of the many students of Roger Corman who spent a lot of his early career cutting his teeth on doing smaller jobs for Corman and learning the basics. Finally given a shot with “Piranha II,” Cameron delivers a movie that’s terrible, but charming in its terribleness. It’s the beginnings of a blockbuster titan and his ability to serve something up on a grand scale.

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Five Great Bill Paxton (1955-2017) Performances

Bill Paxton could play any character. He could play anyone, at any time, from anywhere. He was a cowboy in the old west, he was a soldier in the future fighting aliens, he was a tornado chaser, a leather clad vampire, a slimy car salesman, an obnoxious big brother, a dad burdened with the knowledge of demonic entities, a punk, et al. He could be anyone. I am one of the many kids who grew up watching Paxton give riveting performances on film, no matter how big or small the role was. Paxton was a man who could appear in any time period on film and you bought his performance and his place there.

By all accounts, Paxton was a very nice and warm man who loved his fans, and treated everyone with immense respect. I was born in 1983, so I was old enough to remember a time where Paxton was in a lot of movies, and was a constant face on film. He’d just pop up, and it was a pleasant surprise every single time. Paxton even helped invent a ton of imitators who would walk around screaming “Game over man! Game over!” over and over and over. It never got old.

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Aliens (1986)

aliensSequels should always strive to be better than the original while paying homage to the film that came before it. James Cameron does a bang up job with a film that, in another reality, would have failed big time. Cameron takes what was a slow burn and gradually unraveling horror science fiction film about a woman battling a phallic alien and transforms it in to a brutally and entertaining action horror film. While some of the more ardent fans of “Alien” might have been thrown off by the change in tone, James Cameron embraces the action genre for a brand new generation, offering an extension of Ridley Scott’s film that compliments what came before.

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