Josh Kirby… Time Warrior: Chapter 1, Planet of the Dino-Knights (1995)


Watching “Josh Kirby” is like watching a lost series from the Action Pack stunt from television in 1995, where you almost expect it to air alongside “Hercules.” in truth, the series of six films unfolds like one short kids television adventure series, and even for a movie aimed at kids, it’s hard to catch up. There’s so much about this universe, that the movie opens with a five minute montage of scenes from the movie that’s somehow meant to keep us up to speed with what we haven’t seen yet. Really, it feels like filler and an odd place to place such a device when it’d be suited more appropriately for the second part of the film series.

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Excalibur Kid (1999)


Yet another iteration of “A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court,” this time around Antony Anderson focuses on what happens when an out of time teen is set to become the king in place of King Arthur. Jason McSkimming gives a tolerable performance as young Zack, a teen who is angry about moving away from his home and longs to be a part of medieval times where honor and evil were easy to tell apart. Or some nonsense like that, I was never sure what he was rambling about. Zack is so anxious to go back in time he wills it thanks to the magic of the evil Morgause.

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Virgins of Sherwood Forest (2000)


Don’t you hate it when you hit your head in a fit of rage and end up in Sherwood forest with a bunch of hot buxom women? In all honesty, I’d love that, but surely enough in Surrender Cinema’s “Virgins of Sherwood Forest” you can expect it to happen. One of my favorite erotic stars of all time, Gabriella Hall, plays Roberta, a female director for a music video has to tolerate a bunch of obnoxious sex starved actors.
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The Dark Ages

It’s hard to look at “The Dark Ages” without noting the sheer sense of irony engrained within the documentary. It was a time of sheer ignorance and disease, a time where the poor were drawn into war, where wars of faith were fought for years, while tyrannical rulers fought wars based on their faith. It was a time of great violence and poverty… and that’s just been in the last seven years. I had to take that joke, because it’s just too true to deny. “The Dark Ages” is a fascinating documentary chronicling the dark ages. It was a time where slaves revolted against their masters, and the Roman Empire fell to the grasp of warriors who began to dominate the land with bloodshed.

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A Knight's Tale (2001)

tumblr_lhlop8VQtN1qe5zgiMan, it really pisses me off when such a movie with such heart has tons of flaws to it. First off, the beginning of the movie threw me off so much. I mean, classic rock in medieval times? While two knights joust, we see the crowd of peasants and noblemen pounding their fists on the wooden banisters to the beat of Queens “We Will Rock you.” Am I missing something?

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