Tag Archives: Movie Reviews

Room 237 (2013)

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There’s just so much mystery behind Stanley Kubrick’s “The Shining,” that you have to ponder on the mystery behind “Room 237.” The Rodney Ascher directed documentary is a film that explores the dimensions of “The Shining” but also garners its own curiosities in the mean time. I mean there’s no denying that “The Shining” was never meant to be anything more than a puzzle from Stanley Kubrick, but what is the puzzle? Did Kubrick really pay so much attention to the film to include a yet to be deciphered message within the film cells? Or is it just a pastiche of random imagery left for the laymen to tinker with for decades to come? Did Kubrick find cinematic immortality by simply giving his audience a movie to think about that ultimately just meant nothing? You have to wonder, why would Kubrick be so meticulous about scenery, props, and symbolism, but forget to hide the shadow of his chopper during the opening scenes of the film?

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The Return of the Living Dead (1985)

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Director Dan O’Bannon’s 1985 zombie picture is about as pitch perfect a horror comedy you can get. The film itself re-imagines the walking dead and manages to deliver oodles of comedy and horror nuggets to its audience that has kept it alive and kicking since its initial release. What many thought was once an untouchable formula transformed the walking dead in to a beast anyone could tinker with, and allowed other writers and directors a chance at re-creating the modern zombie. Sadly, none have been quite as successful as Dan O’Bannon and the minds of “The Return of the Living Dead.”

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Xero: Two Disc Edition (2010)

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kvJ0PbSDirector Jack the Zipper’s “Xero” is one of the most artistically inclined bits of girl on girl porno ever conceived, it’s a masterful and visually brilliant pornographic film that is clearly just about the girl on girl sequences, but also has something to say with its depiction of sex scenes. Clocking in at an hour long, “Xero” is an endless stream of women going down on one another and engaging in heavy cunnilingus but this is all depicted in a single barn setting through the eyes of a dark haired woman. This dark haired woman is being tormented by an appetite for women that’s insatiable.

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Jackass 3D (2010)

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“That’s the story of Jackass there! Pissing in the wind!”

Sure, “Jack Ass” May have stumbled with the first film which was just so many layers of pure awful.

Knoxville (pictured) getting mauled. For fun!

But with the sequel, Johnny Knoxville and the guys sort of learned their lesson in spite of its success and turned their antics in to performance art of a sorts. They’ve taken the art of acting like morons and turned it in to a form or pre-orchestrated and carefully planned nihilism that is both very funny and always has something of a point to make.

Take for example the sheer ludicrousness of Knoxville dressed as an old man making out with his under aged (an obviously aged actress pretending to be a teen) grand daughter and no one at all reacting to the display of the two kissing and nearly dropping down to the floor humping. It’s insane how by now Knoxville has figured out that he’s never going to be anything but the man behind “Jackass” so he’s taken that and made it in to a form of art where it’s often a new kind of silent film.
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Jurassic Park III (2001)

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The third film in the “Jurassic Park” series before the development purgatory and inevitable reboot is quite the different animal. Steven Spielberg is no longer behind the camera, only one of the original cast members returns for a fan service supporting performance, new flashier dinosaurs are added to attract gimmicky crowds, and the film is noticeably shorter than its former siblings. Dr. Alan Grant sticks to the Spielbergian archetypes. He’s still Indiana Jones sans the sour disposition, and he’s divorced from his wife Ellie.

Obviously, this is due to contractual obligations, but it adds an obvious turn in the usual Spielberg films where most at war couples never quite make it, no matter how successful they are in their journeys. Joe Johnston directs what is easily the worst leg in the series, a movie so lagging and lethargic it’s almost impossible to fully soak in the conundrum these characters face.

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I Spit On Your Grave: Unrated (2010)

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i-spit-on-your-graveWas this remake entirely necessary? Actually no. Especially when you consider Meir Zarchi’s 1978 revenge film continues to be a widely revered, and critically reviled piece of volatile grindhouse cinema that not only set the stages for future revenge films, but was already remade subsequent its theatrical release where we saw no end of women on a rampage revenge films in the late seventies in to the eighties. “I Spit on Your Grave” is still one of the most heavily discussed and angrily debated cult masterpieces to this day inspiring hatred and praise from many film buffs and to this day inspires pure vitriol from iconic film critic Roger Ebert who despises Zarchi’s film so passionately, he banishes anyone who enjoyed it.

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Grease (1978)

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Frankly I’m very annoyed at the latest promotions to push “Grease” as the original “High School Musical.” While it is true in a sense that this was a hit movie musical about high school students, “Grease” is a wonderful musical masterpiece with amazing dance and singing numbers, catchy tunes, and a story that’s pretty trite but otherwise simple enough to sit and enjoy for its lightweight emotional fodder while Disney’s high profile movie was just a fad for tweens between naps at grade school. “Grease” is one of the last of its kind, a musical that continues to be relevant and masterfully splices in its numbers in to its narrative with smooth precision to where it flows naturally within the scope of the characters and conveys their sadness and joy.

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