Just some advice: If your entire movie’s existence is centered on the fact that you’re an off brand Transformers, it’s a good idea to show us some transforming robots every now and then. After sixteen years (!), Asylum finally scrounged up enough to deliver a sequel to their first high profile mockbuster series “Transmorphers.” They offer us their answer to “Transformers: Rise of the Beasts.” If you didn’t like the “Rise of the Beasts,” odds are you might enjoy “Mech Beasts”—if you’re a fan of actors staring off screen and describing robots rather than ever showing them, of course.
Tag Archives: Robots
BAD MOVIE MONDAY: Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker
I’ve never liked reviewing a film right when it comes out. You get caught up in the hype whether you like it or not, swallowed into the propellers of either the always positive marketing machine or the always negative social media rage engine, both of which are revving at full speed. So your review suffers because you can’t stay impartial in that sort of environment. It’s like trying to judge the power of a hurricane while standing in the eye of the storm. I saw this movie a few years ago. I won’t say that I “watched” it because that wouldn’t be accurate.
I played it on a streaming service and then sort of half glanced at the screen. Now, in the interest of science, I’m going to watch it again because I feel it’s a good example of what I like to call “advertiser friendly corporate content.” This is the sort of movie that has an insultingly low opinion of its audience. It’s cynical, insincere, soulless, lazy, and ultimately empty. It’s to cinema what school cafeteria food is to cuisine.
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Tales from the Apocalypse (2023)
I’m shocked at how great “Tales from the Apocalypse” was, and I say that as someone that loves a good apocalyptic yarn here and there. While I wouldn’t be quick to compare it to “Trick r Treat” as the premise has explained, it manages to stand on its own two feet as great anthology filled with five great science fiction shorts obvious influenced by the likes of Ray Bradbury, Rod Serling, and Richard Matheson. I’m also glad a lot of the shorts picked for this film aren’t the usual tired tropes, but aim for something so much more meaningful and thought provoking.
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (2023)
I’d like to believe that 2018’s “Bumblee” kind of rubbed off on the studios and it caused them to go in to another direction with their “Transformers” movie series. The “direction” being making their “Transformers” series watchable, entertaining, and coherent. Where as the previous films were all overlong, droning, loud, and obnoxious, “Rise of the Beasts” actually manages to be a very good time. And I say that as someone that’s been completely dismissing anything and everything about “Transformers” since the movies wound up being so god awful. “Bumblebee” being the exception, of course.
SILEO (2022)
The search for meaning, and why we exist is a question that plagues most sentient things on the planet. Although we’d probably be better off merely surviving day to day there’s the curse of the conscious being that we have to know why. That’s basically the premise for “SILEO.” Three years in the making, director and animator Demeter Lorant has build a dystopian, cold world where everything and every facet of society is run by machines. The machines have evolved to such a point that even the older models are being rejuvenated bit by bit. When GEFF 325520-BD, a fixer unit robot, decides to halt production, he goes on a quest to figure out why he’s there.
Enter the Video Store: Empire of Screams (1984-1989) – Limited Edition [Blu-ray]
Charles Band and Empire Video and his sub-labels like Full Moon, Moonbeam, Action Xtreme and others were a huge part of the Video store shelves in the eighties and nineties. There was rarely a time where you could walk in to a video store without seeing something from Charles Band on the shelves. Now with Arrow Video unleashing their gargantuan “Enter the Video Store” box set for film collectors, fans can re-live a lot of their favorite titles from Charles Bands’ studios, along with a plethora of vintage extras and even some mementos for good measure. If you fancy yourself a Charles Band fan like I do, “Empire of Screams” will prove to be a treasure trove covering the his golden years from eighties with titles newly, digitally restored.
I’m assuming there’s a second box set planned spanning the 1990’s. Fingers crossed.
I XXXX My Sex Doll (2022) [CINEJOY 2023]
Since the rise of the demand for Sex dolls has increased, it’s been debated on whether or not they contribute to the decrease on sexual crimes committed by men. Whether or not they do, Director Fay Beck’s “I XXXX My Sex Doll” is a stark message that what ever the circumstances may be, a violent person will always be a violent person.