War for the Planet of the Apes (2017)

Available on Physical Media and For Streaming.

I highly doubt this was ever planned to be the end (as nothing really ends in Hollywood), but if anything “War for the Planet of the Apes” is a stellar end to the Caesar saga. This new series’ timeline of the “Planet of the Apes” saga has proven to be filled with surprises and epic drama that once was anchored by the humans. Thanks to the amazing motion capture and excellent performance by Andy Serkis, it’s refreshing to see the series pivot finally over to the apes’ point of view. “War for the Planet of the Apes” is a downright fantastic epilogue to the journey of Caesar who went from animal victim to messiah of the new dominating race of apes. 

Continue reading

Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver (2024)

Now streaming exclusively on Netflix.

After being thrown a bone by Warner being able to bring his version of “Justice League,” he’s announced that these versions of his alleged “Star Wars Killers” known as “Rebel Moon” as more or less unofficial. They’re still movies in a sense, but not in his mind. He’s allegedly planning to release Director’s Cuts for both films, which includes potentially longer scenes and alternate takes on various scenes. So what is even the point of this whole shebang? Snyder is less an auteur and feels so much more like a brand manager trying to figure out an algorithm for a great movie–and he can’t quite synthesize the formula. He seems to base so much of his films around focus groups and buzz rather than instinct which make him such a terrible filmmaker through and through.

Continue reading

Ernest & Célestine: A Trip to Gibberitia (Ernest et Célestine: Le voyage en Charabie) (2022) [Blu-Ray]

Now Available from Shout! Factory and GKIDS.

I’ll be the first to admit that I had no idea what “Ernest & Célestine” was or that it had its own series, as well as a feature film. The good thing about “Ernest & Célestine: A Trip to Gibberitia” is that you don’t really have to go back and see the previous material to understand what’s happening. Basically, it’s all so beautifully animated like a moving storybook and is the tale of the love between a big bear and a small female mouse. Named Ernest & Célestine, there is a story of friendship but there’s also an unspoken true love that’s very punctuated in the final scene of the film.

Continue reading

Giantess Attack vs. Mecha-Fembot! (2022)

I would have loved to be a fly on the wall during the pitch meeting for “Giantess Attack vs. Mecha-Fembot!” I imagine that it involved hastily written cocktail napkins stapled together as a script, some cheap martinis, a randomizer that picked names of various porn stars out of some huge list Full Moon has stored in a database. For all intents and purposes, they manage to squeeze by barely on an hour long movie that really isn’t a movie. It’s a movie in the traditional sense, but the whole idea of giant women fighting is a framework for a lot of comedy skits.

Continue reading

Giantess Battle Attack! (2022)

Now Streaming on TubiTV

After “Attack of the 50ft Cam-Girl,” I assume Full Moon and director Jim Wynorski just thought “Aw, Fuck it” and went ahead with a trilogy of films. What started as yet another iteration of “Attack of the 50ft Woman” transformed into what are now a trilogy of cheaply made, tongue in cheek schlockfests where the main attraction is the giant, busty women knocking heads with one another. They wear tight, short clothing, and tower over the male characters, and there’s a ton of innuendo and double entendres thrown at the audience.

Continue reading

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024)

Now In Theaters Nationwide.

“Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire” in a nutshell:
Kong: Man, I just got my ass kicked. Help a Titan out?
Godzilla: Say less, bruv. We on this bitch.
Mothra: Allow it.

The best thing to remember about “The New Empire” going in to it is that Adam Wingard’s movie is for the monsters this time. There’s a lot less stuff about bureaucracy, and shady governments, and Armageddon. Now that we’ve hit on all those notes, Wingard gives us what can plainly be described as a fun, classic Saturday matinee. It’s a tribute to the classic monster mashes from Godzilla’s heyday where King Kong is the hero who calls upon a few of his friends, one of whom being Godzilla, to take down a new potential threat to mankind. A challenger to the throne, if you will.

So much of it works as I was hooked on the journey we’re taken on with King Kong.

Continue reading