Jess Franco’s vampire film genuinely doesn’t live up to the hype it’s garnered with horror and film buffs over the decades since its release. It’s a tedious and often dull affair that manages to numb the sexuality due to its incessant filler. The filler is ever present from the opening shots, and is used to pad the film’s run time, from performances in front of crowds, right down to dream sequences, much of it is used as a tactic to pad a thinly veiled “Dracula” remake.
Don’t you hate it when you hit your head in a fit of rage and end up in Sherwood forest with a bunch of hot buxom women? In all honesty, I’d love that, but surely enough in Surrender Cinema’s “Virgins of Sherwood Forest” you can expect it to happen. One of my favorite erotic stars of all time, Gabriella Hall, plays Roberta, a female director for a music video has to tolerate a bunch of obnoxious sex starved actors.
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I think “V/H/S/ Viral” might prove to be a little too cynical for horror fans that love their anthology horror movies chaotic and somewhat over the top. “VHS 2” was a hard act to follow, and “V/H/S/ Viral” thankfully doesn’t try to top the previous films, so much as accompany it with a magnificent social commentary that tops off a pretty excellent trilogy, all things considered. If “V/H/S/ Viral” is the last in the Collective’s indie anthology horror film then it’s a marvel to end on, as “V/H/S/ Viral” is a sick and demented film about society’s unquenchable thirst for instant fame in a world where everything can be accessed with a button and a massive online world. “V/H/S/ Viral” is cryptic and often very confusing, but all roads converge in to the theme of fame.
It’s hard to believe almost twenty years ago, the height of superhero movies was “Batman & Robin” with studios not really clamoring to adapt any of the beloved superheroes. It took “Blade” to finally bring some tooth and maturity to the entire sub-genre. One of the more interesting precursors to “Blade” is the dreadfully boring vampire adaptation “Vampirella,” which is a tonally confused take on the pulpy pin up character mostly known for being beautiful and sexy, and not so much for her compelling story lines. “Vampirella” is never sure if it’s campy horror schlock, exploitative vampire softcore, or a stern horror epic. So director Jim Wynorski pretty much lunges for all three on the table, and comes out with this pretty gloomy and dull film.
I never thought I’d hate a post apocalyptic movie for being too grim and miserable. But surely enough one of the biggest downfalls of “Vanishing on 7th Street” is that it’s so downbeat it cuts off any chance of entertainment. I know that grim and hopeless moods come with tales about the end of the world, but director Brad Anderson almost has nothing to do with his premise and concept, thus he revolves his story around a series of very unlikable characters. It’s a shame considering director Brad Anderson is such a competent often brilliant director, but he’s behind the camera lensing what is an obviously incomplete movie.
While “Veronica Mars” didn’t exactly set the world on fire, it’s definitely a return to form for the cast and crew behind the cult series, revived by the loyal fanbase and Kickstarter. Creator Rob Thomas sets the series right in the place he left off, providing a much wanted return to the universe where Veronica Mars is still a pariah and still always five steps ahead of everyone in her life. The best fans could have hoped for was that “Veronica Mars” felt like one big finale, and lo and behold, it succeeds two fold. I won’t pretend “Veronica Mars” is a spectacular thriller, but it’s a simple and entertaining closer to a series that deserved a decent send off.
It’s Skinemax time and “Virtual Encounters” is the movie for anyone interested in delightful mediocre mid-nineties porn. As a movie it’s a pretty crummy and boring attempt to add fantasy elements to a genre already built around fantasies. Part of the Surrender Cinema division from Full Moon, “Virtual Encounters” is pseudo-science fiction that basically just features a slew of mildly erotic sex scenes that have no real context to them. They’re just there to get about as much mileage out of the movie before it ends.