{"id":10350,"date":"2007-02-05T22:49:40","date_gmt":"2007-02-06T03:49:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/?p=10350"},"modified":"2007-02-05T22:49:40","modified_gmt":"2007-02-06T03:49:40","slug":"poseidon-2006","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/2007\/02\/05\/poseidon-2006\/","title":{"rendered":"Poseidon (2006)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"SX640_SY720_\"<\/a>From the beginning, \u201cPoseidon\u201d sets up pins for the potential humongous tidal wave to knock down one by one, and it couldn\u2019t be more obvious if they tried. There\u2019s the over protective father who built the ship, there\u2019s Kevin Dillon playing the worm once again, there\u2019s the independent daughter of the ship\u2019s builder whose boyfriend has an \u201cI\u2019m fucked\u201d sign over his head from minute one, there\u2019s Freddy Rodriguez as a waiter who is hauling his wife aboard secretly. Gee, they may as well have targets on their asses. It’s interesting to note, Rodriguez, one of the few minorities in this corn fed remake, receives the most gruesome, and early death of the entire cast. Curious.<\/p>\n

\u201cPoseidon\u201d is obvious. It\u2019s blatant, and it\u2019s so utterly predictable. Gone are the engaging characters, the mounting tension, and characters we can relate to. Gone is the hero fighting his battle with his religion, while watching people die senseless deaths. No, this is an all-star cast, so there\u2019s no one main character to play hero. Before this, there was \u201cThe Poseidon Adventure\u201d a television remake that involved terrorism being the cause of the massive tidal wave. I hear that stunk, but judging by \u201cPoseidon,\u201d I really don\u2019t need to find out why. \u201cPoseidon\u201d wastes literally no time. Not fifteen minutes in do we surpass the basic almost forced characterization that’s served to us as a chore-like preamble, until the massive tidal wave literally roars across the water.<\/p>\n

The characters here are by the numbers, and the writers don\u2019t waste time on intimacy, and connecting to them. Who needs that? This is a popcorn movie, right? Sure, \u201cThe Poseidon Adventure\u201d was just another disaster flick, but I gave a crap about the people on board fighting the odds. Here? Well, Emmy Rossum is fun to look at. Otherwise\u2026? Richard Dreyfuss is wasted, Kurt Russell is downplayed, Josh Lucas is uneven, Kevin Dillon is a cartoon, Andre Braugher is over the top as usual, and like the passengers on this boat, we\u2019re just waiting for them to die. And we\u2019re waiting to see how shocking their deaths can be. It\u2019s \u201cFinal Destination\u201d on a ship. Who will die and how? Will it be gory? Shocking? And will Russell\u2019s character ever find his daughter?<\/p>\n

Who cares, really? I was looking forward to \u201cPoseidon,\u201d because well, I\u2019m in love with Emmy Rossum. Josh Lucas, and Kurt Russell are always good in even the worst movies, and it\u2019s a story with immense possibilities, none of which were developed to their full potential as we saw here. Obstacle after obstacle, \u201cPoseidon\u201d doesn\u2019t have a real story. Boat turns over, people die, and everyone doles out the \u201cWe have to hold on!\u201d speech at one point or another. I\u2019m disappointed. It’s not the worst movie in the world, and it’s certainly not one of the worst remakes in the last four years, but it’s disappointing in its delivery. There’s no focus, no story, and simply nothing to take away from this. It’s a carnival ride, with shocks, endless stunts, and when you’re done, you’ve forgotten it and moved on to something better.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From the beginning, \u201cPoseidon\u201d sets up pins for the potential humongous tidal wave to knock down one by one, and it couldn\u2019t be more obvious if they tried. There\u2019s the over protective father who built the ship, there\u2019s Kevin Dillon playing the worm once again, there\u2019s the independent daughter of the ship\u2019s builder whose boyfriend […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[58,71,589,752,835,1012,1087],"class_list":["post-10350","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-movie-reviews","tag-action","tag-adventure","tag-kurt-russell","tag-p","tag-remake","tag-survival","tag-thriller"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10350","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10350"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10350\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10350"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10350"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10350"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}