{"id":15,"date":"2015-03-10T05:45:38","date_gmt":"2015-03-10T05:45:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/?p=15"},"modified":"2015-05-31T01:57:36","modified_gmt":"2015-05-31T05:57:36","slug":"dark-haul-2015-blu-ray","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/2015\/03\/10\/dark-haul-2015-blu-ray\/","title":{"rendered":"Dark Haul (2015) [Blu-Ray]"},"content":{"rendered":"

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It\u2019s hard to believe that there\u2019s ninety minutes in the run time of \u201cDark Haul\u201d and absolutely nothing happens during the duration. I\u2019m convinced that this was the concept for a comic book at one time, or perhaps is already from, as the movie dodges all the unnecessary junk like story and compelling characters in favor of a really repetitive piece of action horror tripe.
\n<\/span>During the birth of the thirteenth child, a young couple accidentally gives birth to the monster that would become known in lore as the Jersey Devil. Unfortunately they give birth to another monstrous child that\u2019s the good part of the pairing and they\u2019re destined to do battle forever. Taken in by a half assed cult of priests, they have to transport the monstrous pair somewhere, and it\u2019s up to the sister and her powers of order to keep her brother from wreaking havoc. She can run really fast, heal, and touch floor to restore order, but she still comes off as a very lame heroine that almost does nothing to help anyone. We\u2019re never sure if she hates her brother or loves her brother and why she wants to break him free sometimes, and imprison him others. Tom Sizemore is lackluster here as a militant priest hell bent on transporting the sibling pair, and carry out the ill fated war between the beast and mankind.<\/p>\n

I say ill fated since the movie builds up to what should be a grand battle, but fades in to a pretty dull finale that defines the term anticlimax. The beast itself is only seen in full regalia for about five percent of the movie, giving the production team the chance to show it mainly through Predator vision and allowing it to slay people with its tail over and over. Meanwhile, the bad guys pretty much do nothing but shoot at the monster seventeen times over, while we\u2019re never really told if we should rooting for it or against it. The beast design is great (you can see it on the box), it\u2019s just a shame we never get to see it. \u201cDark Haul\u201d is a dreadfully boring and repetitive horror actioner, and it\u2019s a good thing the Blu-Ray comes with no extras to emphasize how misguided the film is.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s hard to believe that there\u2019s ninety minutes in the run time of \u201cDark Haul\u201d and absolutely nothing happens during the duration. I\u2019m convinced that this was the concept for a comic book at one time, or perhaps is already from, as the movie dodges all the unnecessary junk like story and compelling characters in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-movie-reviews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15385,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15\/revisions\/15385"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}