2014 was a great year for movies, but it was also a year that trotted out some really embarrassing films, many of which were of the comedy or horror variety. We consciously avoided crap like “Transformers: Extinction,” while considering candidates like “Annabelle” and “A Million Ways to Die in the West.” In the end, these made our definitive top ten of the worst 2014 had to offer.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n![\"tmnt1\"](\"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/tmnt1.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a>10. Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones<\/strong>
\nDirected by Christopher B. Landon<\/strong>
\nParamount Pictures<\/strong>
\nRelease Date: January 3rd<\/strong>
\nAs a fan of the series it pains me to include this entry in to the top ten. There is so much they could have done with a sequel centered on the latin culture. The latin culture are almost as firm in their beliefs in the supernatural and superstitious as the Asian culture, and the writers could very well have taken off from that. Instead \u201cThe Marked Ones\u201d is a lazy, boring, and often stupid movie with no scares. It also tries too damn hard to link the entire series together to the point where in a movie about poltergeists and witches, you\u2019ll consider them stretching it way too far. There are zero interesting characters, the jump scares are dull, and what\u2019s worse is that the final scene borders on racist in an effort to explain the final scene in the first film. I really hope we begin to see a direction with the next movie, because \u201cThe Marked Ones\u201d indicates they don\u2019t know what they fuck they\u2019re doing, and are just throwing random crap at us. For a series that once seemed to be veering in to a terrifying direction, it\u2019s sad.<\/p>\n<\/a>9. Tammy<\/strong>
\nDirected by Ben Falcone<\/strong>
\nWarner Bros.<\/strong>
\nRelease Date: June 30th<\/strong>
\nMelissa McCarthy is so much better than she thinks she is, and this vanity vehicle apparently gives us an insight in to what kind of film she thinks she deserves. As Tammy, she\u2019s a child stuck in a woman\u2019s body, whose utter moronic tendencies are charming to people, for some odd reason. McCarthy\u2019s vehicle can never be sure if it wants to be a road trip comedy, a romance, a dramedy, or just a downright stupid series of events that try to build Tammy in to some sort of blue collar heroine. McCarthy is downright unfunny, the movie is miserable, and the talented cast surrounding McCarthy are wasted or painfully misused. \u201cTammy\u201d takes great pleasure in giving McCarthy carte blanche in improvising her dialogue and working away from the script which results in a laguhless tedious piece of swill that\u2019s barely watchable.<\/p>\n<\/a>8. Cabin Fever 3: Patient Zero<\/strong>
\nDirected by Kaare Andrews<\/strong>
\nImage Entertainment<\/strong>
\nRelease Date: August 1st<\/strong>
\nTwo movies later, and I still hate \u201cCabin Fever\u201d and every essence of its premise. \u201cCabin Fever 3\u201d is no big digression from the first two pieces of garbage, focusing on even more vapid characters turning on one another in the face of a flesh eating virus. This time, \u201cPatient Zero\u201d is a \u201cmaybe\u201d (?) prequel that focuses on the lone survivor of the virus, and his penchant for being able to survive what is turning everyone around him in to rotting, festering, sacks of blood and guts. Meanwhile on the very island he\u2019s on, a group of forgettable cannon fodder is victim to the flesh eating infection. Like the previous movies, none of the storylines matter, since everyone are either going to die, or will likely never make it to another wretched sequel. \u201cPatient Zero\u201d is grotesque, pointless, and lacking in any kind of scares. Not to mention it does literally nothing with a concept that was invented just to squeeze as much blood and guts out of the movie as possible.<\/p>\n<\/a>7. I, Frankenstein <\/strong>
\nDirected by Stuart Beattie<\/strong>
\nLionsgate Films<\/strong>
\nRelease Date: January 24th<\/strong>
\nFor some reason Hollywood keeps trying to turn Frankenstein\u2019s monster in to a sexy anti-hero. I don\u2019t understand the sex appeal of transforming a bunch of body parts sewn in to a human, but hey, I\u2019m normal that way. \u201cI, Frankenstein\u201d tries to give the monster the \u201cUnderworld\u201d treatment by turning him in to a beast with great power, pitted in the middle of a war between gargoyle people, and demons that either want Frankenstein, or want to know how to build their own Frankenstein\u2019s. The movie\u2019s premise goes back and forth on that idea. \u201cI, Frankenstein\u201d is literally nothing but a lot of fancy, albeit dodgy, special effects and massive battles, all of which lack any emotion or resonance. It\u2019s not enough to stage massive battles, but how about creating compelling characters we can root for? In the right material, Aaron Eckhart is brilliant, but in \u201cI, Frankenstein\u201d he\u2019s a buff, clefted, anti-hero who offers nothing interesting for his potential fan base to root for. He\u2019s Frankenstein\u2019s monster, sure, but that\u2019s just not enough, in what is just a grueling attempt to build a franchise.<\/p>\n<\/a>6. Sin City: A Dame to Kill For<\/strong>
\nDirected by Robert Rodriguez, Frank Miller<\/strong>
\nDimension Films<\/strong>
\nRelease Date: August 22nd<\/strong>
\nI loved Frank Miller\u2019s noir mini-series and really enjoyed the film adaptation, I\u2019m just wondering what the hell went wrong with \u201cA Dame to Kill For.\u201d With perhaps the proper writing, a sequel may have been great, but instead it\u2019s a sadistically boring, overlong, and stupid follow up. Rodriguez and Miller waited way too long to develop the sequel, and give us little reason to care for this. Rather than paint the screen with new dynamic characters, and interesting conflicts, Miller and Rodriguez are content with regurgitating the same tension and sub-plots as the first film, right down to the Samurai prostitute Miho and the baffling reliance on Jessica Alba to carry the movie. Rodriguez and Miller have proven over the last few years that they really have no tricks left in their bag, anymore. \u201cA Dame to Kill For\u201d is proof positive that it\u2019s about time to cut the strings and stop at part two with \u201cSin City.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/a>5. Dumb and Dumber To<\/strong>
\nDirected by The Farrelly Brothers<\/strong>
\nUniversal Pictures<\/strong>
\nRelease Date: November 14th<\/strong>
\nWhen an official sequel to \u201cDumb and Dumber\u201d makes \u201cWhen Harry Met Lloyd\u201d look like comedy gold, something really is screwy. As I feared, \u201cDumb and Dumber To\u201d picks up with our pair of numbskulls twenty years later, and just completely repeats the same beats from the original film all over again. There\u2019s Harry and Lloyd driving a hit man insane, there\u2019s the road trip, there\u2019s a gag involving urine, a violent fantasy sequence, and repeats of the more minor gags involving the breath spray, and the \u201cmost annoying sound in the world.\u201d There\u2019s also a secret plot involving murder and blackmail that the pair stumbles in to, except the film drags in poor Laurie Holden and Rob Riggle to what is nothing but a pretty miserable follow up. By the time the movie mocks itself for repeating the same jokes, there\u2019s just no salvaging what is an awful retread of the 1994 original, a comedy that happens to be one of my all time favorites. Watching a middle aged Harry and Lloyd get in to ridiculous antics just doesn\u2019t work this time around. Thirty years old morons are funny. Fifty year old morons are just pathetic.<\/p>\n<\/a>4. Jersey Boys<\/strong>
\nDirected by Clint Eastwood<\/strong>
\nWarner Bros. Entertainment<\/strong>
\nRelease Date: November 11th<\/strong>
\nThere\u2019s just so much of \u201cJersey Boys\u201d that could have gone well, and instead is just terrible on every level. Clint Eastwood\u2019s direction is lazy and dull, the movie can never decide if it wants to be a musical or a drama, the acting is a mixed bag; most of all the casting is baffling. Did anyone really buy Christopher Walken as a powerful Italian mobster? Not even he seemed to take the role too seriously. Most of the attempted drama is also laugh out loud stupid, from the big confrontation in Walken\u2019s house, to the epiphany that led to the group being called the Four Seasons, right down to Frankei\u2019s band mate telling him to get over the death of his daughter to write a song. And I’ve never seen a movie rely so hard on a running joke involving Joe Pesci. \u201cJersey Boys” is just so stupid, and caps everything off with a epilogue featuring the cast members covered in horrible prosthetics and make up in an effort to make them look elderly. Director Eastwood\u2019s clout doesn\u2019t afford him the privilege of phoning in bad movie after bad movie.<\/p>\n<\/a>3. God\u2019s Not Dead <\/strong>
\nDirected by Harold Cronk<\/strong>
\nPure Flix Entertainment<\/strong>
\nRelease Date: March 21st<\/strong>
\nI can forgive \u201cHeaven\u2019s For Real\u201d for being a Hallmark card style pat on the head for people terrified about the afterlife, but \u201cGod\u2019s Not Dead\u201d gets no pass. It\u2019s a brutally obnoxious, ridiculous, and over the top smearing of atheism, and pretty much any religion not Christianity. There\u2019s even a sub-plot involving a Muslim girl who is secretly converting to Christianity. What does her father do when he finds out? Why he beats the hell out of her, of course! They\u2019re Muslim! I also really laughed during the moment when a country band filled with pious Christian devotees are interviewed by a music reporter who happens to be Atheist, prompting a stand off of snark versus pure old Country boy faith. Mustering up the same old clich\u00e9s, \u201cGod\u2019s Not Dead\u201d pretends to throw the gauntlet on the table to have a really honest discussion of theism versus atheism. But in the end, it\u2019s another confirmation of the just beliefs of any and all Christians. It\u2019s shoddily made, laughably condescending, and just so obnoxiously satisfied with itself.<\/p>\n<\/a>2. Wolf Creek 2<\/strong>
\nDirected by Greg McLean<\/strong>
\nRoadshow Film Distributors<\/strong>
\nRelease Date: May 16th<\/strong>
\nGreg McLean continues to disappoint with the follow up to his utterly terrible horror film that manages to be even worse than the former. Placing the greater emphases on horror character Uncle Mikey, director McLean completely regurgitates the premise from the original film to set the stage for even more sadistic violence. This time around he dabbles in misogyny and homophobia while wandering through his film with ninety minutes of complete and utter nonsense. \u201cWolf Creek 2\u201d can never decide if it\u2019s a stern thriller or a dark comedy, opting for a lot of goofy moments that seem to mock its own ideas. Horror series don\u2019t usually make fun of themselves until a fourth or fifth movie, but McLean is anxious to begin mocking his own ideas, and piss away any hope for suspense or terror. McLean transforms his horror character in to a fool, and continues wasting any chances at delivering unique original horror.<\/p>\n