{"id":16275,"date":"2015-10-11T01:13:34","date_gmt":"2015-10-11T05:13:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/?p=16275"},"modified":"2015-10-11T01:55:45","modified_gmt":"2015-10-11T05:55:45","slug":"eaters-2011","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/2015\/10\/11\/eaters-2011\/","title":{"rendered":"Eaters (2011)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Eaters_2011\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It should serve as no surprise that a zombie movie produced by Uwe Boll is nothing but an empty and utterly tedious experience. I\u2019m not going to proclaim \u201cEaters\u201d as the worst zombie movie ever made, but it\u2019s definitely one where there\u2019s simply no substance and nothing to take away from it. It\u2019s not too much to ask for a zombie movie where we can empathize with characters, and experience something exciting while also having a good time. \u201cDead Set\u201d managed to accomplish that well.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Our two protagonists Igor and Alen basically do nothing but sit around scowling at one another and dwelling on the end of the world. We\u2019re supposed to follow them as they scavenge the dead ridden world for supplies, and try to find some semblance of sanity within the carnage. The sad fact is neither of these gentlemen are at all interesting or worth following. They\u2019re more broadly written archetypes for this kind of horror fodder, never quite feeling like humans, and instead just come off as cinematic versions of video game characters. Which is no surprise considering \u201cEaters\u201d functions like a video game, where the zombies are just fodder for machine gun shoot outs, and various scenes of throttling with cars and weaponry.<\/p>\n

\u201cEaters\u201d is a movie where literally nothing happens for the entire ninety minute running time. It\u2019s void of an actual narrative despite presenting a fairly effective back drop. The writers take so much of the first opening minutes to build a world that\u2019s fallen apart at the seams and have fallen prey to flesh eating monsters. There\u2019s footage of rioting, and folks in HAZMAT suits disposing of the dead. Once we enter in to our primary narrative, it\u2019s sad to see that directors Luca Boni and Marco Ristori basically run out of ideas before we even meet our two anti-heroes of the piece. With the zombie apocalypse, there\u2019s always room to create a compelling, or perhaps entertaining tale about human struggle and whatnot. Even if you\u2019re just interested in creating a dumb fun time set in a zombie apocalypse, a creative mind can run with the seeds of potential.<\/p>\n

But \u201cEaters\u201d really accomplishes nothing and in the end amounts to absolutely zero. \u201cEaters\u201d wears its influences on its sleeve, taking a huge amount of its narrative from Romero\u2019s \u201cDay of the Dead\u201d where a bunch of military lunk heads bash around in a bunker trying to fend off insanity, all the while a doctor experiments on the dead in his lab trying to learn their secrets. The sad part is, Romero found something rich and insightful in \u201cDay,\u201d while \u201cEaters\u201d is just ugly, mean spirited, and lacking in any kind of interesting characters. As an experience, and as a zombie entry in the humongous library of modern zombie cinema, \u201cEaters\u201d is a waste of time. Hell, even horror fans just interested in a fun zombie movie will find \u201cEaters\u201d woefully disappointing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It should serve as no surprise that a zombie movie produced by Uwe Boll is nothing but an empty and utterly tedious experience. I\u2019m not going to proclaim \u201cEaters\u201d as the worst zombie movie ever made, but it\u2019s definitely one where there\u2019s simply no substance and nothing to take away from it. It\u2019s not too […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,12],"tags":[310,367,477,1012,1087,1173,1219,1221],"class_list":["post-16275","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-halloween-horror-month","category-movie-reviews","tag-e","tag-foreign","tag-horror","tag-survival","tag-thriller","tag-war","tag-zombie-apocalypse","tag-zombies"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16275","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16275"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16275\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16990,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16275\/revisions\/16990"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16275"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16275"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16275"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}