{"id":17830,"date":"2015-12-10T08:12:44","date_gmt":"2015-12-10T13:12:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/?p=17830"},"modified":"2015-12-10T08:17:45","modified_gmt":"2015-12-10T13:17:45","slug":"5-reasons-why-id-rather-be-in-the-monster-squad-than-the-goonies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/2015\/12\/10\/5-reasons-why-id-rather-be-in-the-monster-squad-than-the-goonies\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Reasons why I\u2019d Rather Be in \u201cThe Monster Squad\u201d than \u201cThe Goonies\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"monstersquad-title\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cThe Goonies<\/a>\u201d turn thirty this year, which marks a fun anniversary of one of the most iconic family films of the 1980\u2019s. To this day, the film is considered a masterpiece by many, even brandishing its own sequel coming very soon. I figured why not celebrate \u201cThe Goonies\u201d by undermining its legacy and praising its knock off \u201cThe Monster Squad,\u201d instead? Ain\u2019t I a stinker? I\u2019ll be honest, while \u201cThe Goonies\u201d is a very good movie, at the end of the day I\u2019d rather watch Fred Dekker\u2019s \u201cThe Monster Squad.\u201d<\/p>\n

It\u2019s harder edged, it\u2019s much more entertaining, has more imagination, and it holds up against the rose colored glasses of nostalgia. Goonies never say die, but The Monster Squad kills the fuck out of monsters and bad guys. Here are five Reasons why I\u2019d rather be in \u201cThe Monster Squad\u201d than \u201cThe Goonies.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\"monster-squad-rudy\"<\/a><\/p>\n

5. They Piss Off and Beat Monsters<\/strong>
\nAt first when Dracula is intent on committing to his plan of world domination, he kind of laughs off the threat of the Monster Squad. By the time the movie is ending, he blows up their club house, tries to murder a little girl, and is so furious at the trouble they\u2019ve caused him, he\u2019s prepared to slaughter the lot of them before Van Helsing and the adults intervene to help them out. They\u2019re a group of some of the worst monsters incarnate, including the brides of Dracula, eventually realize that they simply pose no real threat to the Monster Squad, and their ultimate hubris is their undoing. Even working as a unit the monsters never beat the Monster Squad. Dracula is infuriated by the time he realizes the group has pulled off opening limbo with his amulet, and you know they bragged for decades about making Count Dracula so mad he began to emit electricity from his body.<\/p>\n

\"702b8d786446326a1b2092a0597611e0\"<\/a><\/p>\n

4. Frankenstein is Cooler than Sloth<\/strong>
\nLet\u2019s face it, while Sloth has the more iconic catchphrase and look, Frankenstein is just cooler. He has immense power on his side as well as knowledge of evil, and decides to join forces with good. He befriends the lovely Phoebe, and defends his little friend by tossing Dracula like a cheap rag doll on to a spiked fence post. Bogus, indeed. He also appreciates a good old fashioned naked teenage girl every now and then, as well as a teddy bear to comfort him as he drifts for centuries through the vast abyss that is limbo. He just knows what is worth sacrificing for the greater good. Frankenstein doesn\u2019t want to be a monster. He has the heart of a puppy, and he proves it by helping the Monster Squad until the very end and accepting his fate in eternal limbo.<\/p>\n

\"monstersquad-vanhelsing\"<\/a><\/p>\n

3. Van Helsing is an ally<\/strong>
\nVan Helsing gives Sean thumbs up. I would be bragging to my kids forever that not only is Van Helsing a good friend of mine, but he gave me thumbs up. I\u2019d have loved to learn more about the Monster Squad blood line and learn that perhaps Sean was a descendant of Van Helsing. Too corny, but who cares? Either way, it\u2019s a good luck of the draw that the book of Van Helsing ends up in the hands of a group of genuinely heroic kids, all of whom ensure that evil sees its final days on Earth and in our dimension. I imagine the group went on many other adventures after the end of their encounter with Dracula, and Van Helsing\u2019s approval just sealed the deal.<\/p>\n

\"monstersquad-horace\"<\/a><\/p>\n

2. Each Member Has Some Kind of Weapon<\/strong>
\nEach member eventually learns to handle a weapon by the time the movie ends. Sean is good with the stake, Rudy is great with the bow and arrow, stake, and hand held revolver, Horace masters the shotgun, Phoebe has her purity, and Eugene seems to have a keen awareness of dread lurking near and around him. There has to be a reason why the mummy hides in his closet if he\u2019s not somewhat tuned in to evil\u2019s frequency somehow. He also has a shocking ability to pull strings with the US military. Let\u2019s not forget there’s Scary German Guy who has wisdom and knowledge on his side. Patrick does stuff too, I guess. He has wit, or something.<\/p>\n

\"Sean-and-Horace-monster-squad\"<\/a><\/p>\n

1. Sean is a bad ass<\/strong>
\nYes, Rudy is a bad ass. He has the leather jacket, and royally fucks up the wolfman, the mummy, and the brides of Dracula. He also wins the girl. But hey, Sean is the leader, and he keeps his cool in the face of pure evil time and time again. He calls Wolfman an asshole, decides to throw down with the monsters in the town square, finds a virgin to open limbo, manages to stake Dracula square in the heart despite being sucked in to limbo, and wins Van Helsing\u2019s approval as limbo closes up the evil that\u2019s dripped in to the town. Sean\u2019s decisions are wise, his courage is unparalleled, and he finishes his life threatening adventure with a celebratory round of high fives with his team as they live to fight on. Everyone wanted to be Rudy when I was a kid, but I\u2019d much rather be Sean.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cThe Goonies\u201d turn thirty this year, which marks a fun anniversary of one of the most iconic family films of the 1980\u2019s. To this day, the film is considered a masterpiece by many, even brandishing its own sequel coming very soon. I figured why not celebrate \u201cThe Goonies\u201d by undermining its legacy and praising its […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[219,299,349,375,477,580,737,1068,1151,1182,1277],"class_list":["post-17830","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-list-junkies","tag-comedy","tag-dracula","tag-fantasy","tag-frankenstein","tag-horror","tag-kids","tag-nostalgia","tag-the-mummy","tag-vampires","tag-werewolves","tag-wolfman"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17830","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17830"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17830\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17841,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17830\/revisions\/17841"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17830"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17830"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17830"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}