{"id":18683,"date":"2013-05-13T22:02:41","date_gmt":"2013-05-14T02:02:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/?p=18683"},"modified":"2016-01-22T16:41:06","modified_gmt":"2016-01-22T21:41:06","slug":"the-pc-thug-arrivederci-zombie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/2013\/05\/13\/the-pc-thug-arrivederci-zombie\/","title":{"rendered":"The PC Thug: Arrivederci, Zombie"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"PCThug-logo\"<\/a><\/p>\n

No one will ever really accuse \u201cH2\u2033 or \u201cRob Zombie\u2019s Halloween\u201d of ever being a masterpiece. I mean, while they do have the vision of a man who has something to say in the horror genre, they\u2019re not the indicators of someone who can firmly grasp what a remake is supposed to be. John Carpenter\u2019s \u201cThe Thing\u201d worked so well because he had source material to work off of, and re-imagined the Howard Hawks original in creative ways. Zombie\u2019s \u201cHalloween\u201d movies felt like repackaged leftovers disguised as a meal. Heck, I don\u2019t think Zombie ever grasped what filmmaking was supposed to be.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

His trailer for \u201cGrindhouse\u201d was ridiculous, especially considered about ninety-eight percent of grindhouse trailers never announced their all star line-up. Zombie, Zombie, Zombie. In \u201cHalloween\u201d he offers audiences a run-of-the-mill groan inducing tale of a trailer trash young teen who becomes a hulking killer (if he just sat around making masks for decades, how did he become a hulk with super strength?), then Zombie proceeded to show his vision of a \u201cHalloween\u201d movie that could never decide if its killer was supernatural or all-man, and then he basically just truncated the John Carpenter film in the final thirty minutes. I\u2019m still not sure how Michael could identify his sister Laurie when the last time he saw her she was only a newborn baby.<\/p>\n

But \u201cHalloween\u201d offered Sheri Moon Zombie the chance to expand her acting reel, so I\u2019m guessing Zombie doesn\u2019t consider the first film a total loss. Meanwhile, \u201cH2\u2033 just seemed to peter out and go on auto drive, turning a simple story about fate and evil into surreal Lynchian farce, while Zombie proceeded to turn the universe into an even more cynical mess. \u201cH2\u2033 is just unwatchable. Zombie spent most of his early movie making career trying to get some studio to fund \u201cHouse of 1,000 Corpses,\u201d and then stepped in to an underrated action thriller with \u201cThe Devil\u2019s Rejects.\u201d<\/p>\n

He was able to tap some gold from that mine because he avoided every single element from the first film. It\u2019s a sequel to \u201cHouse\u201d but a very loose one. There\u2019s no supernatural elements, no scary movie trappings, no goofy prologues, no music video interludes, and no Dr. Satan. He\u2019s not even mentioned. You don\u2019t even have to watch \u201cHouse\u201d to enjoy \u201cThe Devil\u2019s Rejects.\u201d You just know that the trio of baddies are runaways from a lunatic family, they\u2019re being hunted by a vengeful sheriff, and there\u2019s one kick ass soundtrack for classic rock fans to enjoy. If you can ignore the inexplicable sad finale, and Zombie\u2019s continued insistence on parading Sheri Moon Zombie around, it\u2019s an enjoyable movie. Later in the years, Zombie showed that he was willing to play ball with the studios, much like Kevin Smith. He directed an episode for a popular TV show, and even tried his hand at a cult film with \u201cEl Superbeasto.\u201d<\/p>\n

But his walking in to the Halloween universe and peeing all over it to declare it his new territory was a travesty. And frankly infuriating. This is a man who learned the studio game, and he spent months talking around fans who wanted to know if Zombie was making a sequel to \u201cHalloween.\u201d Zombie is noted for proclaiming remakes unnecessary and absurd unless the film is awful, and then replied with \u201cThe next Halloween is definitely not a sequel.\u201d Lo and behold, it was a remake. And not just a remake, but a remake definitely intended to bank roll whatever projects he wanted to create in the future. You wouldn\u2019t believe how many dunderheads I came across who declared \u201cZombie isn\u2019t doing this for the money. He has something to contribute.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Rob-Zombie\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I am so happy they were proven wrong years later. Zombie not only seemed to do it for the money, but he also seemed to take the jobs on the basis of getting in good with the studio system. I mean, hell, I\u2019m sure any aspiring filmmaker would be willing to remake a hallowed classic film if promised a picture deal and potential carte blanche. The \u201cHalloween\u201d movies are only really notable because they\u2019re the antithesis of Carpenter\u2019s horror film. Carpenter strived for subtlety, poetry, terror, suspense, build-up, exposition, dread, ambiguity, and shocks. Zombie flipped the coin and went for the opposite. Hell, not even casting a \u201cHalloween\u201d alum with Danielle Harris panned out in the long run. Zombie says about directing the \u201cHalloween\u201d remake: \u201cI didn\u2019t have a good time making them. It was actually a kind of miserable experience.\u201d<\/p>\n

Well, that\u2019s a shocker. I mean, that\u2019s what happens when you sell your scruples for a free ride with a studio. That\u2019s almost like the guy who joins the mob, and is surprised to discover you have to do much more dirty work than sitting around in fancy suits. What? I have to kill people too? D\u2019aw! I wonder if Zombie actually had some projects of his own panned out in the vein of \u201cLords of Salem\u201d and the studio just wanted more man-for-hire jobs on long stalled remakes. After all, Zombie was touted to remake \u201cCHUD\u201d and \u201cThe Blob\u201d for a very long time.<\/p>\n

In fact, there were heavy rumblings that \u201cThe Blob\u201d remake Zombie was planning didn\u2019t even have an actual alien blob for most of the film. That\u2019s almost like an \u201cAlien\u201d film with no Alien. But hey, those who can\u2019t do, right Zombie? Eli Roth quit aping directing styles from his heroes and is now helping actual talented directors get their projects up and running. Maybe you could do the same. Run a horror film festival, or a convention. Start a label for aspiring horror filmmakers. You can pay homage to the genre without abusing us with your terrible filmmaking, you know.<\/p>\n

Zombie has allegedly sworn off of filmmaking for a very long time after \u201cLords of Salem.\u201d To that I say: Arrivederci, Zombie. Let\u2019s hope you\u2019ve gotten all that movie making business out of your system, for now. I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll eventually drift back to the movie making bug when Sheri needs a new credit for her resume. You did lie bold faced to your fans about never doing a remake, after all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

No one will ever really accuse \u201cH2\u2033 or \u201cRob Zombie\u2019s Halloween\u201d of ever being a masterpiece. I mean, while they do have the vision of a man who has something to say in the horror genre, they\u2019re not the indicators of someone who can firmly grasp what a remake is supposed to be. John Carpenter\u2019s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[359,441,477,835,852],"class_list":["post-18683","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pcthugs","tag-filmmaking","tag-halloween","tag-horror","tag-remake","tag-rob-zombie"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18683","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18683"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18683\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18725,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18683\/revisions\/18725"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18683"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18683"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18683"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}