{"id":20906,"date":"2016-06-03T16:28:38","date_gmt":"2016-06-03T20:28:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/?p=20906"},"modified":"2016-09-11T19:44:27","modified_gmt":"2016-09-11T23:44:27","slug":"evil-bong-high-5-2016","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/2016\/06\/03\/evil-bong-high-5-2016\/","title":{"rendered":"Evil Bong High-5 (2016)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/high5.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-20907\" src=\"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/high5.jpg\" alt=\"high5\" width=\"425\" height=\"374\" \/><\/a>Do you see what happens when you let interns make a movie with petty cash on the weekends? You come up with \u201cEvil Bong High-5.\u201d It\u2019s a stoner movie that\u2019s so bad even stoners will eventually shut it off because it\u2019s destroying their high. At only seventy minutes long, this is a movie that literally stops dead in its tracks in order to advertise the company\u2019s brand of painfully unfunny ethnic stereotype dolls. One of the many sequels apparently breaking even enough for another installment, Eebee the Evil Bong is back and she\u2019s just as mean as ever. Now that she\u2019s trapped a small group of people in The Bong World, alongside the Gingerdead Man, they have to figure out a way home.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>That is if they can stop smoking weed long enough to think of a plan. They turn to older stoner Rabbit, who has figured out a method of zen thinking that can allow him to leave her realm, but Eebee catches on making a deal. She sends two of her prisoners in to the real world to sell her line of potent weed, all the while keeping her female prisoners tied down by two busty stoner chicks. They\u2019re there to get naked and look sexy. And that\u2019s about it. \u201cHigh-5\u201d is only seventy minutes in length and literally has no narrative. It\u2019s just a lot of really awful stoner jokes and hemp puns. All followed up with a ton of small comedy skits involving our protagonists Rabbit and Larnell, as they try to sell weed to assorted goofy and ridiculous customers that so happen to walk in to the store.<\/p>\n<p>This includes a flamboyantly gay man, and a trio of trailer park trash stoners, all of whom happen to be the newest line of \u201cBadass Dolls\u201d for Full Moon. Virtually critic proof in design, \u201cHigh-5\u201d is a colossal waste of time, and one that insists on trotting out the studio\u2019s insanely dumb mascot Hambo. But he is also a doll, too! So buy it, mmkay?! In either case, you can at least admire the sights while you\u2019re zoning out. There\u2019s some terrible green screen, really hot women, lame puppetry, and the horrifying notion that someone might actually have a \u201cButt Pirate\u201d doll sitting on their office desk as we speak. I shudder.<\/p>\n<p><strong>On DVD from Amazon and Full Moon Direct June 22nd.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you see what happens when you let interns make a movie with petty cash on the weekends? You come up with \u201cEvil Bong High-5.\u201d It\u2019s a stoner movie that\u2019s so bad even stoners will eventually shut it off because it\u2019s destroying their high. At only seventy minutes long, this is a movie that literally [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,6,12],"tags":[219,310,349,501,678,922],"class_list":["post-20906","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-full-moon-friday","category-grindhouse-review-fest","category-movie-reviews","tag-comedy","tag-e","tag-fantasy","tag-indie-film","tag-monsters","tag-sequel"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20906","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20906"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20906\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22260,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20906\/revisions\/22260"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20906"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20906"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20906"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}