{"id":21216,"date":"2014-10-23T01:37:14","date_gmt":"2014-10-23T05:37:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/?p=21216"},"modified":"2016-07-01T01:43:18","modified_gmt":"2016-07-01T05:43:18","slug":"i-frankenstein-2014","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/2014\/10\/23\/i-frankenstein-2014\/","title":{"rendered":"I, Frankenstein (2014)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"ifrankenstein\"<\/a>\u201cI Frankenstein\u201d is so hopelessly convoluted that rather than watching the action unfold and allowing the audience to go along for the ride, the writers do nothing but explain. Characters walk from one room to another to explain things, and then explain the explanation. \u201cWe\u2019re the Order of the Gargoyles and here\u2019s why. You\u2019ll be called Adam, and here\u2019s why. These are our weapons that can defeat demons, we\u2019ll explain why. Our ranks are falling but demons are more powerful than ever, and we\u2019ll explain why.\u201d Considering the heroes do nothing but talk, it\u2019s a wonder they\u2019re losing the battle of good and evil. And how original that Frankenstein is re-named Adam? I wish Hollywood would put that creaky clich\u00e9 to bed.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s too bad the writers didn\u2019t have the balls to re-name the monster Frank. Or Victor. Hell, Shelley would have been gutsy. After the usual events of the Mary Shelley novel, Frankenstein is attacked in a graveyard when he attempts to bury the body of his creator. Managing to barely survive, he\u2019s taken in by the Order of the Gargoyle, a group of knights hired by the Queen to fight demons. For whatever reason, they\u2019re gargoyles that can masquerade as human beings, and can revert to their beastial form to fight evil. On the other side, there\u2019s a group of demons intent on capturing Frankenstein because he holds the key to immortality. No wait, he holds the key to building another Frankenstein body, as the demons plans to build an army of clones that can be possessed by demons.<\/p>\n

Frankenstein is an anti-hero for the sake of being an anti-hero, torn between two fractions of the war. You know he\u2019s an angry monster because he dons heavy eyeliner for a majority of the film, and despite his brute strength battles with swords like a horror version of \u201cCrouching Tiger.\u201d You figure a movie with gargoyles and demons and Frankenstein would be amazing, but in reality it\u2019s unbearable. It\u2019s droning, tedious, and incredibly boring, and not a single character is engaging. They bring in strong performers like Bill Nighy, Yvonne Strahovski and Miranda Otto, all of whom do nothing but look half asleep most of the time, while they drone on and on with clunky exposition.<\/p>\n

In the first half there\u2019s a massive battle between the demons and Gargoyles, and granted it would all be so amazing, if I knew who any of these characters were. We learn nothing about the heroes or villains in the film. Director and co-writer Stuart Beattie stuffs the screen with so many sub-plots and supporting characters all of whom have zero depth to them. They\u2019re just cannon fodder we\u2019re told to root for. \u201cI Frankenstein\u201d is much like the \u201cUnderworld\u201d and \u201cResident Evil\u201d movies. It\u2019s all flash, explosions, and absolutely zero substance. \u201cI Frankenstein\u201d is an absolutely terrible attempt to turn a Gothic literary character in to a superhero, and here\u2019s hoping there\u2019s no follow-up to the amazingly dull adventures of Frankenstein\u2019s Monster.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cI Frankenstein\u201d is so hopelessly convoluted that rather than watching the action unfold and allowing the audience to go along for the ride, the writers do nothing but explain. Characters walk from one room to another to explain things, and then explain the explanation. \u201cWe\u2019re the Order of the Gargoyles and here\u2019s why. You\u2019ll be […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":21217,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,12],"tags":[58,64,276,349,375,477,491,874,1087,1173],"class_list":["post-21216","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-halloween-horror-month","category-movie-reviews","tag-action","tag-adaptation","tag-demons","tag-fantasy","tag-frankenstein","tag-horror","tag-i","tag-romance","tag-thriller","tag-war"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21216","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21216"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21216\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21218,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21216\/revisions\/21218"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21217"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21216"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21216"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21216"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}