{"id":21219,"date":"2014-10-28T01:48:58","date_gmt":"2014-10-28T05:48:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/?p=21219"},"modified":"2016-08-19T10:23:50","modified_gmt":"2016-08-19T14:23:50","slug":"monster-of-the-nudist-colony-2013","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/2014\/10\/28\/monster-of-the-nudist-colony-2013\/","title":{"rendered":"Monster of the Nudist Colony (2013)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"MoNC\"<\/a>Can you really call it a nudist colony if it\u2019s comprised of eight people total? I was never quite sure, but I wish nudist colonies actually looked like this. Based on documentaries I\u2019ve seen about nudist colonies, it\u2019s not all comprised of people like Lexi Belle bouncing around and scampering like a pixie. And I\u2019d wager it\u2019s not filled with hedonistic orgies and drunken parties. But I guess that\u2019s the fun of \u201cMonster of the Nudist Colony.\u201d Everything about it is so ridiculous that it comprises a surreal and amusing experience. At the seemingly deserted Circle Double D\u2019s Nudist Colony, a monstrous ape begins wreaking havoc on the residents, rushing out from the woods to terrorize them mid-coitus and little else.<\/p>\n

The ape is also collecting the gorgeous women from the Colony for its own nefarious purposes, too. Like making them dance for him. This oddly enough gets back to detective Arch Hammer, who is investigating the ape attacks, and celebrates the case by diddling his gorgeous wife, as played by Melissa Jacobs. Now they plan to go undercover as nudists to investigate, and sleep with just about every resident in the colony. Considering there\u2019s only under a dozen people staying in this luxurious ranch, that\u2019s not much of a task.<\/p>\n

Two my favorite aspects of \u201cMonster of the Nudist Colony\u201d is the viciously bad acting, and the deliriously laughable soundtrack. Comprised of soft jazz and oddly self aware rock music, Robbie Breastnut composes much of the hilarious soundtrack that plays over the softcore sex scenes. It\u2019s worth keeping the sound up if only to hear the ridiculous lyrics and wonder if she\u2019s in on the joke, or is actually serious with this soundtrack. Breastnut even appears as a local officer who does nothing but lounge around in a skimpy police uniform and come very close to blowing her own brains out. As for the acting, there isn\u2019t a single competent performance in the group.<\/p>\n

Considering this is mainly just a movie for the gorgeous women to strip and grope one another in tame girl on girl, I doubt acting was a big requirement. Nevertheless the furiously bad acting provides the most laughter. You have to see the random girl on girl mid-way where performer Hannah Reilly literally struggles to get through her scenes and finish her lines without tripping up. I\u2019ll place money it took at least ten takes to finish her portion. \u201cMonster of the Nudist Colony\u201d is a trippy bit of softcore soft horror, and is worth watching for the self-awareness brought to the horrific production quality and sheer non-existent plot. Plus, you can\u2019t hate anything featuring Lexi Belle too much.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Can you really call it a nudist colony if it\u2019s comprised of eight people total? I was never quite sure, but I wish nudist colonies actually looked like this. Based on documentaries I\u2019ve seen about nudist colonies, it\u2019s not all comprised of people like Lexi Belle bouncing around and scampering like a pixie. And I\u2019d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,12],"tags":[70,219,240,337,617,678,703,821],"class_list":["post-21219","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-halloween-horror-month","category-movie-reviews","tag-adult","tag-comedy","tag-crime","tag-exploitation","tag-m","tag-monsters","tag-mystery","tag-rated-x"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21219","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21219"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21219\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21221,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21219\/revisions\/21221"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21219"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21219"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21219"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}