{"id":2432,"date":"2008-02-05T22:05:18","date_gmt":"2008-02-06T03:05:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cinemacrazed.wordpress.com\/?p=2432"},"modified":"2008-02-05T22:05:18","modified_gmt":"2008-02-06T03:05:18","slug":"aliens-vs-predator-requiem-2007","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/2008\/02\/05\/aliens-vs-predator-requiem-2007\/","title":{"rendered":"Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Hollywood is a lot like that idiotic kid of yours who, no matter how much confidence you allow, just can\u2019t do anything right. You set up some optimism, let some benefit of the doubt slip in, and there he goes disappointing you yet again until you just stare at him thinking \u201cCan\u2019t you do anything right?\u201d While Paul WS Anderson is that bad influence who keeps digging his hands into your affairs and fucking it up. In one drawn out obnoxious plot device, the sexy cheerleader girl asks her humble love interest: \u201cNow\u2026 are you looking at me or the clock?\u201d It\u2019s almost as if she was talking to me, and I had to answer: \u201cThe Clock\u2026 the clock. Is it over yet?\u201d<\/p>\n

It\u2019s bad enough that the scene is so utterly stupid, pointless, and meaningless when you consider that these people are all just walking corpses prepared for the slaughter, but the acting just stinks. Period. I cared for no one, not the army chick, not the pizza guy, not the bad ass ex-con, not the hunter guy. I know this sounds stupid, but I really didn\u2019t memorize anyone\u2019s name because the characters here are extremely interchangeable and so broadly drawn that they\u2019re more concepts and clich\u00e9s than individuals with personalities and charisma, and they face generic conflicts that are more melodramatic than anything. Will the sheriff prove himself as a leader? Will the army mom get the respect of her daughter? Will the bad-ass ex con teach his brother respect?<\/p>\n

Did they nuke the entire town including the babies in the hospital?! Will the cheerleader love the pizza guy? Will bad ass ex-con dude ever figure out how to use Predator\u2019s gun? The biggest problem though, among many, is that the film takes such lengths in topping its predecessor with gore and violence that it never focuses on the truly annoying aspects from the first like boring characters, a weak plot motivation, and cheesy dialogue. But no we have to show a kid being killed by a chest burster: whoa, an alien popped out from a pregnant woman\u2019s stomach: wow, a face was melted; who cares about the tricks when the magician is so annoying? That\u2019s the question I kept asking. Meanwhile the Brothers Strause never quite ace the primary motivation for seeing this movie: Aliens fighting Predators.<\/p>\n

Instead I never knew what was happening because all of the action is confined to small dark spaces where all of the movement and excitement is incredibly incoherent because the Strause brothers never aim for an epic scale. They just film the fights in small shots and the general atmosphere is one of pure apathy. Even when the Predalien (or is it the Alienator?), and the big bad Predator battle it out in the climax, I could\u2019ve cared less. The Predalien is always obscured and kept in the darkness, while the main predator is a boring character with no real depth beyond it being a grand poobah of the predator race. Frankly, I didn\u2019t know what the fuck was going on, and Brothers proved that between the two of them, they couldn\u2019t film a decent fight between the two baddies.<\/p>\n

Shapes moved, screams were heard, and I sat there constantly confused as to what was occurring before me. If you\u2019re selling this battle royale, why keep us from watching it? And if you\u2019re aiming for a hardcore R film, why not show the actual gore? Much more severe, is that Shane Salemo has two narratives that are so different that they never combine to form a strong uniting arc. At one point we\u2019re dealing with a light and bittersweet CW drama about a small town and an ensemble of characters trying to overcome conflicts in their lives. The next point we\u2019re down in the darkness with the Predators and Aliens tussling, and I\u2019m left wondering why I felt like I was watching two different movies that never quite came together as a parallel arc beyond the clunky \u201cThey\u2019re all fighting personal wars\u201d motif that was about as subtle as a falling boulder and twice as clunky.<\/p>\n

Even when the characters are blasting aliens, and tough talking, I\u2019m still hearing the theme song to \u201cOne Tree Hill.\u201d Meanwhile our poor cardboard cutouts are left to fend for themselves acting off of the monsters, attempting to form some sort of chemistry and substance, and spouting dialogue that often act as both puns and emphasis, with horribly limp attempts at social commentary and clunky jabs at the Iraq war. In the end though, \u201cRequiem\u201d is a lot like a car crash. It\u2019s fleeting, it\u2019s disastrous, you know something has happened but damn if you can describe what, and you\u2019re left with a general sense of confusion, devastation, and grief.<\/p>\n

With The Brothers Strause, they had small shoes to fill, and they still failed in delivering an engrossing tale about aliens and predators battling it to the death. Did I hate it? No. Did I despise it? No. Did I think it was the worst of 2007? No. Did I like it? God no. Did I have fun? No, no, no, no. The biggest reason why this movie fails beyond belief is that it can never combine narratives and create entertainment. I wanted to love it, but wanting and having are two different things, and \u201cRequiem\u201d proves it. You want a good movie, but you get a lackluster effort.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hollywood is a lot like that idiotic kid of yours who, no matter how much confidence you allow, just can\u2019t do anything right. You set up some optimism, let some benefit of the doubt slip in, and there he goes disappointing you yet again until you just stare at him thinking \u201cCan\u2019t you do anything […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[50,58,88,477,906,922,1013,1087],"class_list":["post-2432","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-movie-reviews","tag-a","tag-action","tag-aliens","tag-horror","tag-science-fiction","tag-sequel","tag-suspense","tag-thriller"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2432","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2432"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2432\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2432"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2432"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2432"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}