Brothers and sistas, mothers and fathers, I come to you today not only as a megalomaniacal egotistic movie critic but as a fellow movie go-er! Thus I have witness the plight that is “From Justin to Kelly”! Can I get a amen?!<\/p>\n
If I asked you (the reader) who watches “American Idol” I’d probably receive an onslaught of hands raised followed by cheering; but if I asked you how many people went to see this film, I’d without a doubt be welcomed with deafening silence and a few mutters, thus Americans finally knew the extent FOX was willing to milk their cash cow known as “American Idol”! Can I get a amen?!<\/p>\n
I’m not a fan of the “American Idol” series; I feel it’s bland, ridiculous and horribly uses these young hopeful kids as entertainment and spits them out their butthole in the end. Thus was the blight of Justin Guarini and Kelly Clarkson, two somewhat talented singers who competed for the title of “American Idol”, it rhymes see?!<\/p>\n
Kelly Clarkson plays — Kelly, a young Texan waitress who sings (What a stretch!), and Justin Guarini plays — Justin, can you feel the creative juices flowing here, folks?! Kelly is convinced by her friends (one who sounds like Miss Scarlet O’Hara, one who sounds like she’s from New York) to go to spring break for the next week, but she’s adamant and refuses. We never learn why other than she might be the biggest prude on Earth.<\/p>\n
Justin’s character Justin appears to come from some sort of Bizarro universe because he has no back story, no sensible reason why he’s at spring break, and there’s no conceivable reason why he’s even in the place. Is he in college? A working man, what? So, by a chance of fate (really, a big musical number), the two prepubescent college goers (I created an oxymoron, hooray for me!) cross paths while dancing and Justin’s character Justin instantly falls for Kelly’s character Kelly. (Note: They don’t seem to have a last name)<\/p>\n
So, Justin’s character Justin goes in search for Kelly’s character Kelly while occasionally (every five minutes) breaking into dance numbers and vying for each other’s affections. But, Kelly’s friend Alexa who sounds oddly like Scarlet O’Hara begins to go between them sending Instant Messaging through cell phones misleading Justin, angering Kelly while the others search for happiness on spring break, what’s a movie-goer to do?! Will they make it out alive?!<\/p>\n
Usually when I watch a musical I find it charming when a character breaks into song, most recently it was handled with taste and class in “Chicago” a film that was magnificent, but when people in “From Justin to Kelly” break into song it’s plain creepy. It’s not a smooth transition from dialogue into song; immediately we hear the people talking and snap! Within a split second a song begins.<\/p>\n
If that ain’t bad enough, the choreography is terrible, whew child! With a cozy PG rating there’s a lot of safe non-suggestive choreography worthy of being shown in a Catholic school screening, but aside from being safe it’s also terribly bland and extremely cheesy. I rolled my eyes so much during the course of the film that I began to get a migraine.<\/p>\n
This is such a blatant advertisement for “American Idol”, it’s a film that attempts to market off a mediocre reality show that leeches off of semi-talented young people in hopes of becoming the next Madonna or some other male popstar. Can we just call a spade a spade and get it over with? This is such a manipulative product placing piece of dribble that it wreaks of failure.<\/p>\n
I could have forgiven the bad acting, the terrible writing, and badly choreographed numbers had the music been any good; the music isn’t the worst I’ve ever heard but all of it is forgettable and disposable at best. We see nothing but bland dance numbers with terrible choruses, most particularly the musical number involving the character of Alexa who wants to be committed to a guy yet keeps playing Justin for a ridiculous reason you’ll discover in the end.<\/p>\n
To make up for the lack of acting ability from Justin and Kelly, we’re given these disposable sub-plots involving supporting characters that look like they hopped off a bad eighties film. There’s the jock who keeps getting busted by a police woman (a running gag that gets really tired really quickly), the geeky guy who is trying to search for a woman he met on the internet, the token black girl who falls in love with the token Hispanic who is working as a busboy (how original), and finally a slutty trampy man-eater who manipulates everyone she runs into. All of this is nothing but fodder to an inevitably bad romance between Justin’s character Justin and Kelly’s character Kelly who seem to have the awkward chemistry of a brother and sister forced to play lovers for a family play.<\/p>\n
After one clich\u00e9 date with Kelly’s character Kelly, Justin’s character Justin proclaims he’s in love and in the climax the character Alex proclaims: “It was fate that drew you together”… after one date?! They barely know each other, we barely know either of them! In the end we realize this tries to be the next “Grease” but then discover it’s not even as good as “Grease 2”. An otherwise tepid, bland and safe musical which blatantly attempts to make money of off the terrible reality show “American Idol” and chews on the remains of two semi-talented young people who may never recover from this again.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Brothers and sistas, mothers and fathers, I come to you today not only as a megalomaniacal egotistic movie critic but as a fellow movie go-er! Thus I have witness the plight that is “From Justin to Kelly”! Can I get a amen?! If I asked you (the reader) who watches “American Idol” I’d probably receive […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[219,338,700,874],"class_list":["post-2708","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-movie-reviews","tag-comedy","tag-f","tag-musical","tag-romance"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2708","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2708"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2708\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2708"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2708"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2708"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}