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Dear Brittany Snow,<\/p>\nDear Brittany Snow,<\/p>\n
I love you. And I want you to know it. I’ve loved you since “American Dreams”, and have ever since. I’d gladly listen to a continuous loop of “Secret Lover” as sung by Kevin Federline, and William Hung just to have the chance to eat grapes off of your ass crack and confess my unrequited love to thee while you parade yourself in the red silk lingerie you\u2019re featured in midway. Yes, this is true. And I’m not ashamed to admit it. You say creepy, but I say lovelorn. I’m only human, damn it!<\/p>\n
And we’re back.<\/p>\n
My sheer six year infatuation with Brittany Snow not withstanding, \u201cJohn Tucker Must Die\u201d is not as bad as I expected it to be. Granted, it\u2019s not a Marx Brothers flick, but it manages to offer fleeting escapist entertainment, and who says we can\u2019t enjoy that once in a blue moon? And what\u2019s so bad about seeing Sophia Bush, Ashanti, and Arielle Kebble having a knockdown drag out? Nothing. Nothing at all. In fact, I’d watch almost anything with Kebble or Snow in it. If the character don’t make you want to kill them, then the endless basketball analogies will make you go shopping for a shotgun. This is yet another \u201cmen are evil, women are hot\u201d movies that really show the evils of all men, or normal men.<\/p>\n
But, you\u2019ll be glad to know that \u201cJohn Tucker Must Die\u201d is very faithful to life. Three bitches date an asshole, the bitches expect the asshole to change, get mad when the asshole acts the asshole, and seeks revenge feeling justified in it because they thought the asshole would change, yet never examine that they\u2019re pure idiots for doing so\u2014and the cycle continues. Ah, amore. And then to make it worse, in the climax, his brother proclaims, “Everyone knows John Tucker cheats, he’s John Tucker! But they still line up for him.”<\/p>\n
And we’re supposed to sympathize with the women… right? But Lowell’s screenplay shamefully rips heavily from \u201cMean Girls\u201d with narration, examinations of fellow students, the blonde mom vainly attempting to bond with the young girls, and the heroine pitting them all against one another: all present and accounted for. Yet instead of animals being used as analogies for students, Snow\u2019s character uses John juxtaposed to the men she\u2019s experienced whom have dated her mother. Still trying for the comedy, eh Jenny McCarthy? Sad.<\/p>\n
Worst of all, we\u2019re expected to side with the girls when really they are so damn stupid trying to destroy John and only end up benefiting him in the end. So, the hackneyed writing inadvertently takes a turn in siding with John. Not to mention the character Kate is really nothing but a better looking Hilary Duff who has no real likable aspects about her and is a complete bubblehead. On some level, I liked “John Tucker Must Die,” because if anything it succeeds in being passable romance comedy entertainment. The film has its humorous moments with some funny gags and quick wit cushioned by the gorgeous female cast.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dear Brittany Snow, I love you. And I want you to know it. I’ve loved you since “American Dreams”, and have ever since. I’d gladly listen to a continuous loop of “Secret Lover” as sung by Kevin Federline, and William Hung just to have the chance to eat grapes off of your ass crack and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[219,515,840,874],"class_list":["post-2735","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-movie-reviews","tag-comedy","tag-j","tag-revenge","tag-romance"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2735","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2735"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2735\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2735"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2735"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2735"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}