![\"\"](\"http:\/\/i.imgur.com\/UMFZNcW.jpg\")
It\u2019s sad that the days when a spoof showed potential of pure brilliance or cult standing are long gone and now usher in nothing but incredibly awful or mediocre movies that assume spoofing is done best when satirizing the scenes and not the ideas. \u201cEpic Movie\u201d is the next step in the evolution of this sub-genre where you can see the writers getting collectively lazier with each title as the years pass.<\/p>\n
\u201cEpic Movie\u201d pretty much just takes every popular movie in the last year and a half and just basically mimics scenes beat by beat assuming its material for bonafide laughs. That\u2019s why rather than subtly jabbing at these fads and concocting a plot, \u201cEpic Movie\u201d is just a pastiche of pop culture crap that\u2019s formed into a monstrous bastard of unfunny physical comedy, awful acting, and jokes that are outright flat on delivery. \u201cEpic Movie\u201d is not in the area of, say, \u201cDate Movie\u201d where I contemplated homicide and mass murder, no.<\/p>\n
Instead I just sat in my seat for as long as possible, gazing blankly at the screen and considered other methods of distraction\u2026<\/p>\n
10 minute mark:
\nIs that Jayma Mays as Paris Hilton? They kind of look alike. Damn does my ass itch. Paris Hilton jokes are as worn out as Paris Hilton. Get over it, people! Damn cold blisters.<\/p>\n
20 minute mark:
\nI whipped out my Nintendo DS and began finishing the brain teasers for the day on \u201cBrain Age 2.\u201d I declined in progress with Word Scramble, but I\u2019m getting much better with the Block Count. The hardest, \u201cMemory Run,\u201d has been mastered. I rock.<\/p>\n
25 Minute Mark:
\nI am thinking how shockingly hot Jayma Mays is, and how sweet she is for trying to be funny. I liked her in \u201cHeroes\u201d and wondered where she went wrong. Seriously, she was Charlie. Her little lisp is so adorable, what a sweety pie. And god I love red heads.<\/p>\n
28 Minute Mark:
\nIt\u2019s depressing. They turned Diddy into a fawn which is the unfunniest moment of the film, and I\u2019m still bumming about Heath Ledger\u2019s death. Man that \u201cX-Men\u201d spoof was stupid. Carmen Electra collects another paycheck playing Mystique.<\/p>\n
29 Minute Mark:
\nThey\u2019re still doing \u201cScarface\u201d spoofs? Score! 556 points on Virus Buster for \u201cBrain Age 2\u201d! I almost beat the record on Hard. Go me. I\u2019m currently at 29 years old for Brain Age. 9 beats away from the ideal brain age in two months. Word.<\/p>\n
35 Minute Mark:
\nI love Kal Penn even in pieces of shit like this. Watch “The Namesake” for proof of that. They\u2019re still doing \u201cAmerican Pie\u201d jokes?! You were in Christopher Guest movies, why are you in this, Vanessa Coolidge?! More dwarves being used as props for gags, how disgraceful.<\/p>\n
40 Minute Mark:
\nNot to sound racist, but why must we always have a sassy African girl balancing the uptight Caucasian girl in these new spoof movies? Will people even get the Nicole Richie jokes five years from now? Damn, I flopped on \u201cWord Blend.\u201d<\/p>\n
41 Minute Mark:
\nThe beaver is a slang speaking sassy African beaver who is gay, and also acts as a double entendre for vagina. You can almost hear the producers laughing about this in the writer\u2019s room. Shite. Did they take all the best stuff from Youtube and put it on the big screen without crediting the creators?<\/p>\n
43 Minute Mark:
\nI like the animated head in \u201cBrain Age 2.\u201d He\u2019s so friendly. Okay, that \u201cSuperman Returns\u201d spoof was funny. I\u2019ll give them that\u2026<\/p>\n
44 Minute Mark:
\n\u201cAre you sure you want to erase this recording from your DVR?\u201d<\/p>\n
44 Minutes, 28 Second Mark:
\n\u201cYes, Erase.\u201d<\/p>\n
Remember kids: “Memory Run” is just about adding and subtracting, “Block Count” boils down to imagining the blocks, and don’t be afraid to go hogwild with “Virus Buster.” Oh yeah, this movie sucks like a black hole.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It\u2019s sad that the days when a spoof showed potential of pure brilliance or cult standing are long gone and now usher in nothing but incredibly awful or mediocre movies that assume spoofing is done best when satirizing the scenes and not the ideas. \u201cEpic Movie\u201d is the next step in the evolution of this […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[71,219,310,349,898,906,973],"class_list":["post-2737","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-movie-reviews","tag-adventure","tag-comedy","tag-e","tag-fantasy","tag-satire","tag-science-fiction","tag-spoof"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2737","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2737"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2737\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2737"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2737"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2737"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}