{"id":38158,"date":"2022-11-14T17:32:24","date_gmt":"2022-11-14T22:32:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/?p=38158"},"modified":"2023-01-03T11:23:01","modified_gmt":"2023-01-03T16:23:01","slug":"bad-movie-monday-death-bed-the-bed-that-eats-1977","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/2022\/11\/14\/bad-movie-monday-death-bed-the-bed-that-eats-1977\/","title":{"rendered":"BAD MOVIE MONDAY: DEATH BED – THE BED THAT EATS (1977)"},"content":{"rendered":"

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It was inevitable that me and this film cross paths I suppose. Once you go looking for the devil you\u2019re bound to find him. DEATH BED \u2013 THE BED THAT EATS is a 1977 movie directed by George Barry and starring Demene Hall, William Russ, Julie Ritter, Linda Bond and Patrick Spence-Thomas. The film is pure unadulterated madness, and I am so happy to say that it is the pure vision of a genuine auteur. Those always make for the best bad movies, because they are noble failures. So even if you make fun of them, as I do, you still love them and are invested in what you\u2019re watching. I was more excited to watch this film than I ever could be for Avatar 2.
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\nQuick Recap! When COVID shut down everything in early 2020, I started an online bad movie night get-together with some friends that we eventually dubbed \u201cBad Movie Monday\u201d. The premise was simple: We\u2019d torture each other every Monday with the worst trash we could find, tell a few jokes, cheer each other up, and in the process maybe discover some weird obscure cinema that we might never have seen any other way. This series of reviews will feature highlights of those night so you can all share in the fun and maybe get some ideas for your own movie night.<\/em><\/p>\n

There’s an old saying that goes “If you take yourself too seriously, no one else will take you seriously.” and I feel this is very applicable to Death Bed. The whole thing very much comes off as the way too intense passion project of an insane person. Everything just looks so WRONG. The tone and the style and the story clash incessantly. This is a dead serious movie about a killer bed that literally eats people who have sex on it. Even now, after having seen it, I can\u2019t tell you if it\u2019s totally sincere or tongue-in-cheek. I suppose this is part of the film\u2019s charm.<\/p>\n

Okay. So what does the 2002 home video release of the film have to say about itself? Let\u2019s read the back of the box!<\/p>\n

Prepare yourselves… the strangest bedtime story ever told! Released for the first time here after 25 years of obscurity, Cult Epics brings you DEATH BED, George Barry’s uniquely weird journey through a world of wind demons, carnivorous furnishings and the spirit of Aubrey Beardsley!<\/strong><\/p>\n

At the edge of a grand estate, near a crumbling old mansion lies a strange stone building with just a single room. In the room there lies a bed. Born of demonic power, the bed seeks the flesh, blood and life essence of unwary travellers… Three pretty girls arrive on vacation, searching for a place to spend the night. Instead, they tumble into nightmares – and the cruel insatiable hunger of the Bed!<\/strong><\/p>\n

DEATH BED is a one-of-a-kind experience: comic, horrific and dreamlike, that truly has to be seen to be believed. Discover this neglected marvel of American horror for yourself!<\/strong><\/p>\n

There isn\u2019t much to review here, because the entire plot of the film is contained in the title. So the movie is exactly what you think it’s about: an evil bed that eats people. For what it is, I think it\u2019s pretty damn clever and creative. The bed can\u2019t move so it attracts people using telepathy and dreams. It makes them fall asleep on it and then consumes their bodies in its digestive juices that are contained in the mattress. Trapped in a painting on the wall next to the bed is artist Aubrey Beardsley, an early victim of the bed and the film\u2019s narrator. Beardsley is trying to destroy the bed, but can\u2019t escape the painting. All he can do is speak to people nearby when the bed finally sleeps after eating. As dumb as all this sounds it’s directed with a fairly steady hand. The only real problem is that it’s a bit slow and talky. So you find yourself bored after about forty-five minutes, which is a pretty serious problem because the film lasts seventy-seven minutes.<\/p>\n

So, here\u2019s how I\u2019d improve the movie:<\/p>\n

One, would be to remove the tiny bit of post-production \u201ccomedy\u201d that was probably inserted by nervous producers. There\u2019s a scene where the bed drinks Pepto-Bismol after eating too much. That\u2019d be gone.<\/p>\n

Two, would be to massively trim down a long death scene that just drags on forever. It\u2019s too stretched out and annoying. All it does is increase runtime without adding tension or atmosphere. Gone.<\/p>\n

Three, and this may be a bit controversial, but I\u2019d add more smut. I mean, the whole thing is shot like a porno anyway. So let\u2019s just add more nudity and sex while we\u2019re at it. The movie is too ridiculous to be a horror film, too weird to be a drama, but it\u2019d be kind of perfect as one of those seventies art house erotic films like \u201cThe Devil in Miss Jones\u201d.<\/p>\n

Alright, onto my favorite part of the review. My top ten thoughts during the film!<\/p>\n

#1\u00a0 – The bed\u2019s chewing sounds that we hear throughout the film are so stupid that they\u2019re brilliant.<\/p>\n

#2\u00a0 – Aubrey Beardsley is probably the strangest and most obscure possible choice of real life historical person to use as a character in a film about killer beds.<\/p>\n

#3\u00a0 – This movie was released in 1977 and it’s a total groovy time capsule man.<\/p>\n

#4\u00a0 – If this wasn’t originally written as weird fetish porn, I’d be VERY surprised.<\/p>\n

#5\u00a0 – You know, if I found a weird bed in a weird castle I would not go to sleep on it. Not because I\u2019d think it was a demon or anything but because it\u2019d be filled with mice.<\/p>\n

#6\u00a0 – This has some half-decent special effects, or at the very least it utilizes those effects to the best of its capacity.<\/p>\n

#7\u00a0 – As much as I want to bust this film’s balls I genuinely think it’s not that “bad”. The silly title probably hurts it more than anything else.<\/p>\n

#8\u00a0 – This movie is a lot like Silent Night, Bloody Night. (The 1972 Mary Woronov movie, not the killer Santa movie from 1984) Where it’s basically a narrator telling us the story while the actors speak in rare moments of dialogue.<\/p>\n

#9\u00a0 – Something happens to one of the characters\u2019 hands that is so messed up, and is shown in such morbid detail, that I was honestly a bit disturbed.<\/p>\n

#10 \u2013 I honestly think this got a bad reputation. It\u2019s not badly acted. The story isn\u2019t as stupid as you think it would be. The cinematography and locations are very very decent. I\u2019d legitimately call this an art film without any irony. For good or for bad, this is art. Strange art, but art nonetheless.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It was inevitable that me and this film cross paths I suppose. Once you go looking for the devil you\u2019re bound to find him. DEATH BED \u2013 THE BED THAT EATS is a 1977 movie directed by George Barry and starring Demene Hall, William Russ, Julie Ritter, Linda Bond and Patrick Spence-Thomas. The film is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":22,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3070,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-38158","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-badmoviemonday","category-movie-reviews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38158","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/22"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=38158"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38158\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":38163,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38158\/revisions\/38163"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=38158"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=38158"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=38158"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}