{"id":39959,"date":"2023-10-25T00:35:09","date_gmt":"2023-10-25T04:35:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/?p=39959"},"modified":"2023-06-02T19:38:40","modified_gmt":"2023-06-02T23:38:40","slug":"teen-vamp-1988","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/2023\/10\/25\/teen-vamp-1988\/","title":{"rendered":"Teen Vamp (1988)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>\u201cTeen Witch\u201d came in to existence from a studio\u2019s desires to create a \u201cTeen\u201d monster franchise. \u201cTeen Wolf\u201d would give way to \u201cTeen Witch,\u201d and there was supposed to be \u201cTeen Vampire.\u201d Director Samuel Bradford\u2019s super low budget \u201cTeen Vamp\u201d seems to aim to unofficially complete the trinity amounting to a bizarre eighties teen horror series. Although, you could ague \u201cLove at First Bite,\u201d \u201cThe Vampire\u2019s Kiss,\u201d and or \u201cVamp\u201d completed the trilogy; I\u2019d be more hard pressed to argue that \u201cMy Best Friend is a Vampire\u201d feels so much more like a natural end to the desired gimmick. \u201cTeen Vamp\u201d is best left in the heap of obscure eighties video store shelf warmers.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Murphy is a horny high-school boy who has a crush on the cute blonde Conny Sutton, but she just laughs into his face. So he decides to call on the services of a prostitute for some comfort. Unfortunately he happens upon a vampire and gets bitten, what makes him a vampire too. But actually that isn’t so bad, since now he’s not only cool enough to impress the chicks, he’s also strong and can push around bully Bucky and pay him back. Only his mother isn’t happy with his new self and asks a reverend to exorcize him.<\/p>\n

\u201cTeen Vamp\u201d is a cheapie movie rental on every single level. The acting is stiff, the pacing stinks, the editing is awful, and even worse is the sound. It\u2019s obvious a lot of the ADR was done in post, as so much of the sound seems added in post. Plus the editing is so piss poor that when characters talk, there are long stretches of silence, making it impossible to get lost in the movie. \u201cTeen Vamp\u201d is supposed to be a horror comedy, but it\u2019s so grating, and often never funny. Shocking enough, Beau Bishop (playing a high schooler who looks at least in his early thirties) is the film\u2019s protagonist playing Murphy, the lovelorn teen turned vampire.<\/p>\n

But he\u2019s so absolutely obnoxious and shrill you almost root for one ray of daylight to strike him and obliterate him in to ash. The vampirism is, like the aforementioned \u201cTeen\u201d horror movies, just a clumsy allegory for puberty, or growing up. Murphy is self conscious and doubts himself, but the vampirism instills in him courage to go for what he wants. And there\u2019s also the craving for human blood, which makes the movie\u2019s overall tone feel uneven. Is the movie a comedy with horror overtones, or a horror movie with a comic bent? For what it\u2019s worth, Clu Gulager does his best to derive some laughs with his priest character who is convinced Murphy needs an exorcism. That said, \u201cTeen Vamp\u201d is a horror cheapie that\u2019s generally obscure for a good reason. It\u2019s so much more baffling than it is scary or funny. It’s not even so bad it’s good. It’s really bad.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cTeen Witch\u201d came in to existence from a studio\u2019s desires to create a \u201cTeen\u201d monster franchise. \u201cTeen Wolf\u201d would give way to \u201cTeen Witch,\u201d and there was supposed to be \u201cTeen Vampire.\u201d Director Samuel Bradford\u2019s super low budget \u201cTeen Vamp\u201d seems to aim to unofficially complete the trinity amounting to a bizarre eighties teen horror […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,12],"tags":[219,349,477,703,1033,1151],"class_list":["post-39959","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-halloween-horror-month","category-movie-reviews","tag-comedy","tag-fantasy","tag-horror","tag-mystery","tag-teen","tag-vampires"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39959","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39959"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39959\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39961,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39959\/revisions\/39961"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39959"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39959"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39959"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}