{"id":40667,"date":"2023-08-14T08:03:36","date_gmt":"2023-08-14T12:03:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/?p=40667"},"modified":"2023-08-14T08:03:36","modified_gmt":"2023-08-14T12:03:36","slug":"bad-movie-monday-or-how-i-learned-to-stop-worrying-and-love-the-cinematic-bomb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/2023\/08\/14\/bad-movie-monday-or-how-i-learned-to-stop-worrying-and-love-the-cinematic-bomb\/","title":{"rendered":"BAD MOVIE MONDAY or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love The Cinematic Bomb"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Today I want to do something a bit different than what I usually do, and instead write a personal essay about what bad movies mean to me and how they\u2019ve reinvigorated my passion for cinema. I\u2019ve been writing this column for Cinema Crazed for over a year now, and have been watching the movies that inspire it weekly for almost three and a half years. It\u2019s been a hell of a journey to be honest, and I think it\u2019s worth talking about.<\/p>\n

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Quick Recap! When COVID shut down everything in early 2020, I started an online bad movie night get-together with some friends that we eventually dubbed \u201cBad Movie Monday\u201d. The premise was simple: We\u2019d torture each other every Monday with the worst trash we could find, tell a few jokes, cheer each other up, and in the process maybe discover some weird obscure cinema that we might never have seen any other way. This series of reviews will feature highlights of those night, along with some of my favorite trash, so you can all share in the fun and maybe get some ideas for your own movie night.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019d watched bad movies before 2020 of course, I\u2019m hardly a virgin at this sort of thing. I even sometimes sought them out for fun. Notably, I was (and still am) a fan of Exorcist II: The Heretic and The Swarm, both of which I\u2019ve reviewed for BAD MOVIE MONDAY. I\u2019m also a fan of Billy Jack, The Harrad Experiment, Neighbors, Beyond The Poseidon Adventure, Can\u2019t Stop The Music, Change of Habit, Zardoz, and a host of other films that I have not written about yet, although I probably should eventually. I\u2019ve also watched quite a lot of trash by accident, without knowing at the time that they were \u201cbad films\u201d. Stuff like Cobra with Sylvester Stallone or Raw Deal with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Not to mention all the direct-to-VHS bottom of the barrel garbage that I managed to stumble across in the seedier corners of the video store like I was a rich drunk in a whorehouse.<\/p>\n

So I was fairly well versed in what bad movies were, and had watched my fair share of mid-level stuff, but I had never sought out the WORST movies. So when COVID came along and I found myself very bored, I started thinking about what would be fun indoor \u201csocial distancing\u201d thing to do. An online bad movie night just seemed natural, you know?<\/p>\n

The first movie me and my friends ever watched together was 1978\u2019s STARCRASH, a low budget Italian Star Wars ripoff starring Marjoe Gortner and Caroline Munro. It was glorious. For one of the first times in my life I wasn\u2019t expecting anything<\/em> from a film. I didn\u2019t expect to be surprised by plot twists, or to be wowed by the clever writing, or even to be entertained in any way. Ironically, because I did not have high expectations and was able to allow the movie to just be itself, I actually felt surprised and wowed and entertained. Often more than I would have if I\u2019d been watching a \u201cgood\u201d movie. It legitimately felt like I was ten again and discovering the magic of cinema for the first time.<\/p>\n

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I think the thing that finally won me over is that a large majority of bad movies are made with complete sincerity. This is something I find totally absent in the modern big budget cinematic landscape, where everything has all the depth of a credit card commercial. Most bad movies are made by people who love movies. Whereas something like \u201cThe Flash\u201d looks like it was made by people who\u2019ve never watched a movie out of pleasure in their whole damn life. It\u2019s a small, but very important difference. It\u2019s the key to why bad movies are kind of essential viewing if you consider yourself a film buff. Bad movies that are made out of love are just good movies that kind of suck, and what kind of reason is that not to watch them?<\/p>\n

Yes, it\u2019s important to be well acquainted with the masters. Kubrick, Hitchcock, Truffaut, Fellini, Kurosawa, Bergman, and a host of others are necessary viewing if you truly want to witness the beauty and the infinite possibilities of cinema. However, Barry J. Gifford, Mark Borchardt, Albert Pyun, H.G. Lewis, Tommy Wiseau, and Joe D\u2019Amato are all equally essential as well. Because they love cinema just as much as any of the greats do, and just because they were often terrible at making movies doesn\u2019t mean that their love isn\u2019t real. So watch trash. Relax. Sit back and enjoy it. It\u2019ll be good for you. I promise.<\/p>\n

I legitimately think I\u2019ve learned more about cinema and art from watching bad movies than from watching good ones. With a good movie, you\u2019re watching geniuses at work, and since most of us are not geniuses it\u2019s not that educational. With a bad movie, you\u2019re watching someone make the same kind of mistakes you might have done. So if you take notes and pay attention you\u2019re going to learn how to improve your own work by not repeating those mistakes.<\/p>\n

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So what I have I learned watching bad movies, you ask? Well, let me tell you:<\/p>\n

#1 \u2013 Editing is God. Simple as that. It is the very heartbeat of your film. If you edit your movie badly then the heart stops and it dies. Also, this editing doesn\u2019t have to be fancy, just quick and snappy. In fact, I\u2019ll go even further and say that it is better to have a fast paced movie that is not over 90 minutes long than to have a comprehensible movie. If you have to sacrifice massive chunks of plot and story in order to achieve a quick 90 minutes, then do it. Kill your darlings. The worst that can happen is that you\u2019ll have created some sort of rural redneck Kentucky fried surrealistic disasterpiece.<\/p>\n

#2 \u2013 Your actors don\u2019t have to be good. They just have to remember their lines, speak in a clear and easy to understand voice, and try to emote some sort of emotion as realistically as they can. Stop with the method acting or trying to pressure them to be Meryl Streep. Not gonna happen. I\u2019m not saying don\u2019t aim high. However, I am saying you gotta work with what you got. Also, rehearse the shit out of your movie. I know that\u2019s not always possible, scheduling being what it is, but the more rehearsal you have the better your shoot will go.<\/p>\n

#3 \u2013 Move your fucking camera. I\u2019ve seen so many movies make this mistake. They set up their shots like it\u2019s a high-school theater play. This is fine for some scenes, but it\u2019s not fine for ALL scenes. Have a little dynamic motion in your film. Watch the original Evil Dead to see what I mean. Modern cameras are extremely light and easy to move. You can build cheap rigs and do some really crazy stuff.<\/p>\n

#4 \u2013 Your special effects should all be physically real. Avoid computer generated effects as much as possible. With the exception of guns going off, and then only because it\u2019s just so much easier and safer to just CGI muzzle flare in, I think everything should be live. The number one reason for this is that you probably don\u2019t have the budget or skill for whatever you\u2019re imagining in your head anyway, so practical effects force you to shoot things that a) will look good for the camera, and b) you can actually pull off. It forces you to be creative. Don\u2019t get me wrong. Aim for the stars you magnificent madman\/madwoman, but bad practical effects always look superior to bad computer generated effects.<\/p>\n

#5 \u2013 Write your script loosely. Here\u2019s a thing that a lot of first timers get wrong. They\u2019ll write their movie with a very specific and intricate plot and story structure. Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but making a movie is extremely chaotic and everything will eventually go wrong. I\u2019ve yet to hear people tell me that their shoot went smoothly. So save yourself some aggravation, assume that everything will be on fire by day five, and have a Plan B for any particularly \u201cspecific\u201d shot. For example, let\u2019s say your main character lives in a farmhouse and that this location was going to be the main \u201cset\u201d but now the farmer isn\u2019t cool with letting your run around their house. Well, have a plan for shooting these scenes somewhere else. Just in case, you know?<\/p>\n

#6 \u2013 If you work on a movie, in any capacity, always under promise and over perform. Never say you\u2019ll do something you can\u2019t, and always give 110% when you do agree to something. Simple as that. Nobody wants to work with a flake. I got this advice from Steve-O of all people, his dad had told him this and he shared it on a podcast, and it\u2019s some of the best advice I\u2019ve ever heard.<\/p>\n

#7 \u2013 Pre-production is cheap. Use as much of it as you need. Don\u2019t get me wrong, neither your time nor other people\u2019s time is free, but with pre-production you\u2019re not on a tight schedule and you\u2019re not in a rush. This is the perfect opportunity to work out all the kinks in your movie. Use it. You\u2019ll certainly be glad that you did later when you hit a snag and think \u201cTHANK GOD I PLANNED FOR THIS!\u201d<\/p>\n

#8 \u2013 After your editor, the person writing the soundtrack is your second most important asset. If there\u2019s anyone on your team that you want to have experience. It\u2019s those two.<\/p>\n

#9 \u2013 Watch a lot of bad movies. You can watch good movies too of course, but especially watch a lot of bad movies. Learn from their mistakes. Also, learn what constitutes a mistake and what isn\u2019t. Sometimes what we think is a huge disaster is \u201cjust fine\u201d and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Just leave it in. Other times, your screw up going to ruin your movie, so yeah\u2026 you gotta fix that.<\/p>\n

#10 \u2013 Sincerity always shines through. People can tell when you\u2019re doing your best. Alright, that\u2019s not entirely true. Most people can\u2019t tell their asshole from their elbow. However, *I* can tell when you\u2019re doing your best, and I\u2019m proud of you when you succeed. Keep at it, don\u2019t worry about the people who hate what you do and trash talk you. I\u2019m on your side.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today I want to do something a bit different than what I usually do, and instead write a personal essay about what bad movies mean to me and how they\u2019ve reinvigorated my passion for cinema. I\u2019ve been writing this column for Cinema Crazed for over a year now, and have been watching the movies that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":22,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3070],"tags":[3263,2951,3260,3261,3262],"class_list":["post-40667","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-badmoviemonday","tag-action-usa","tag-bad-movie-monday","tag-starcrash","tag-the-swarm","tag-things"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40667","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/22"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=40667"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40667\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":40673,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40667\/revisions\/40673"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=40667"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=40667"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=40667"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}