{"id":43864,"date":"2024-05-20T15:06:21","date_gmt":"2024-05-20T19:06:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/?p=43864"},"modified":"2024-05-20T22:11:30","modified_gmt":"2024-05-21T02:11:30","slug":"bad-movie-monday-bikini-med-school-1994","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/2024\/05\/20\/bad-movie-monday-bikini-med-school-1994\/","title":{"rendered":"Bad Movie Monday: Bikini Med School (1994)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Remember that scene in Pee-Wee\u2019s Big Adventure when Pee-Wee hitches a ride with this sinister lady trucker called Large Marge, who then proceeds to tell him at great length about a terrible car crash that she witnessed? Remember how she ends her story by scaring the bejeezus out of the audience with the greatest claymation jump scare of all time and then going \u201cYes Sir, that was the worst accident I ever seen.\u201d before dropping Pee-Wee off at his destination? Well, after watching BIKINI MED SCHOOL, I kind of feel like that lady. So, grab your bindle and sit in the passenger seat, because it was on a night just like tonight<\/i> that I saw the worst movie I ever seen…<\/p>\n

God. Where to start? Figuring out what to criticize first in this film is like trying to figure out which body part you want to pick up after someone falls into an industrial mincer. There\u2019s a lot to choose from, but nothing that you want to touch. So let\u2019s start with the sheer sleaziness of the whole thing. I was hoping that this would be a simple straightforward trashy low budget sex comedy shot ten years too late. I didn\u2019t think that I was asking for much, just something kind dumb and fun that would make me laugh. Yet even with this extremely low bar the movie still managed to fail in every respect. In fact, there is no \u201cmovie\u201d here. If they took more than two days to shoot this garbage, I would be shocked. It basically consists of three ingredients: Hot chicks in their underwear gyrating on a stage, hot twenty-somethings dancing at a \u201cparty\u201d with the camera focusing on the pretty girls, and wannabe actors doing bad comedy added to the mix almost as an afterthought. I don\u2019t know what kind of lies that the filmmakers told these poor people in order to get them to do this but I can guarantee you that at least two false promises were made \u201cYou\u2019re gonna be a big star after this.\u201d and \u201cThe check is in the mail.\u201d<\/p>\n

SYNOPSIS:<\/strong> A medical school\u2019s student league is conducting an experiment on Hydrotherapy and need female students to dance on stage in wet t-shirts while everyone stands around and drinks. That\u2019s it. That\u2019s the story. There really isn\u2019t much else. At least, not much else that I remember. Because I ain\u2019t watching this shit twice to take notes. One cinematic death march was quite enough for me, thank you very much.<\/p>\n

The other awful thing is just how lazy this film is. Even at only 56 minutes in length there is a huge amount of filler in this garbage. I like hot chicks as much as the next guy, probably more to be honest, but this was like watching a late night phone sex commercial. I kept expecting a 1-800 number to pop up on screen. The story isn\u2019t just flimsy, it\u2019s almost like Schrodinger script. It both exists and it doesn\u2019t depending on if you\u2019re watching or not. So as soon as you look away from the screen, I suspect that the entire movie vanishes like mist.<\/p>\n

Good riddance if it does.<\/p>\n

TEN THOUGHTS I HAD WATCHING THE FILM:<\/strong><\/p>\n

#1 \u2013 I have a rule of thumb. If I can\u2019t find a decent image of the film\u2019s poster online to post with my review, it\u2019s always an omen of how terrible it’s going to be. I\u2019ve never failed to be wrong yet.<\/p>\n

#2 \u2013 Within the first few minutes we are treated to stock footage, stock title fonts and stock music. Not just any kind of stock garbage either. No. No. No. We get the deluxe<\/i> treatment. This is the kind of stuff you\u2019d get free with cheap home video cameras. Perfect.<\/p>\n

#3 \u2013 The Medical School is called Quinn University of Applied Clinical Studies (QUACS) Get it? It\u2019s a joke. Well… it\u2019s a gag anyway. Perhaps more of a pun. I have no idea. I didn\u2019t laugh. If anything this sucked all the humour out of me like a vampire.<\/p>\n

#4 \u2013 The line where they said \u201cPre-med students with congenital mammarian abundance\u201d got a chuckle out of me. Perhaps even a guffaw. I am not proud, but I freely admit I\u2019m an easy lay when it comes to comedy. Which is why you should really pay attention to me if I tell you the rest of the movie isn\u2019t all that funny.<\/p>\n

#5 \u2013 I think another indicator as to how low brow this is, the movie introduces the songs that play while the girls dance with a small title onscreen. As if we cared.<\/p>\n

#6 \u2013 To be very fair, the acting is legitimately not terrible. You can tell that everyone has taken a few classes and have some idea of what to do at least. For an all too brief moment I though this would go somewhere. Spoiler: It didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

#7 \u2013 This could have been a hilarious documentary about playing a prank on actors by making them think they were in a fake movie. Alas, we\u2019re forced to watch the real movie. So the prank\u2019s on us. Har de har har.<\/p>\n

#8 \u2013 This movie is like ordering a burger at a restaurant and being given a bowl of BBQ sauce instead. There is no meat, no cheese, no bread, no onion, no pickles, no tomato, not even a tiny slice of lettuce.<\/p>\n

#9 \u2013 I\u2019d say that this like a porn movie without the porn except that I\u2019ve watched porn movies that were better written than this.<\/p>\n

#10 \u2013 When I was a kid we had to rent Body Heat if wanted to whack off to something. So we\u2019d get a little class and a little art along with our filth. This is just plain filth.<\/p>\n

WAS IT REALLY A BAD MOVIE?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hell yes. However, I have to grudgingly admit that the first few minutes have some amusing \u201cjokes\u201d and that the actors and actresses are doing their best. I\u2019m not blaming the cast. This was a gig, hopefully a paying one, and we all got bills to pay. So I praise them for their sacrifice. It\u2019s a terrible, sleazy, shit film that I don\u2019t recommend to anyone. However, it still lives on decades later. So that\u2019s something at least.<\/p>\n

BIKINI MED SCHOOL is a 1994 sex comedy starring Kim Dawson, Konstantine Greco, Tamara Landry, Thomas Draper, Sean Abbananto, and Anastasia Alexander. It was written and directed by Michael Paul Girard.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Remember that scene in Pee-Wee\u2019s Big Adventure when Pee-Wee hitches a ride with this sinister lady trucker called Large Marge, who then proceeds to tell him at great length about a terrible car crash that she witnessed? Remember how she ends her story by scaring the bejeezus out of the audience with the greatest claymation […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":22,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3070],"tags":[121,3409,1331],"class_list":["post-43864","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-badmoviemonday","tag-bad-movie","tag-raunchy","tag-sex-comedy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43864","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/22"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=43864"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43864\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":43872,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43864\/revisions\/43872"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=43864"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=43864"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=43864"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}