{"id":49048,"date":"2025-08-01T13:41:33","date_gmt":"2025-08-01T17:41:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/?p=49048"},"modified":"2025-08-01T13:41:33","modified_gmt":"2025-08-01T17:41:33","slug":"house-on-eden-2025","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/2025\/08\/01\/house-on-eden-2025\/","title":{"rendered":"House On Eden (2025)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Three YouTube ghost hunters investigate a haunted house in the terrible found footage House on Eden, written, directed, and starring Kris Collins.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Warning: While I normally avoid giving details, I do so here. At least \u201cthese things happen, or don\u2019t,\u201d and why it makes the movie a chore. Read on with caution. I\u2019d say wait until after you watch it. But you shouldn\u2019t watch it. It\u2019ll just make you mad.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

House on Eden is a trite nothing. It\u2019s a collection of half-thought-out ideas, poor acting and writing, whiffs all scare sequences, and is ultimately an atrocious film. I\u2019m sorry, Kris Collins. As the writer-producer-director-star, along with your friends, I know you put in the work, and I appreciate the DIY nature. But it doesn\u2019t come together in any capable manner. Collins and her co-stars, Celina Myers and Jason-Christopher Mayer, are all successful and entertaining YouTube paranormal investigators; unfortunately, the skill there doesn\u2019t transfer to film here.<\/span><\/p>\n

True Crime and Ghost Investigation podcasts and YouTube channels are popular. They get followers, visit interesting locations, build lore, and often present some great stuff. If I may plug my friends Gabi and Kim: their Ghoulish Tendencies covers both. I know them from the ghost investigation group we\u2019re all a part of here in Seattle. It\u2019s an awesome show, listen!\u00a0 I love the paranormal, so my brushing off of the characters and their actions in House of Eden is not a dig on the hobby. I love to visit places, especially (semi-)abandoned ones, and talk to myself in the dark, hoping for an answer when I play back.\u00a0 I digress.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I even like found footage films. Of which this is. But strangely feels like one from just after they became popular. As if Collins watched Blair Witch and the St. Francisville Experiment and immediately fell into a coma for 25 years, woke up, and made this movie.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>If you didn\u2019t know that it\u2019s found footage going in, you will instantly. The worst shaky cam to ever shaky cam threatens nausea for the first 40 minutes. As our leads (all annoying and seem to barely like one another and seem to be terrible at their job), trapse through the woods, looking for the House on Eden, they aim their cameras every which way but where they should. Those of us of a certain age may recall when The Blair Witch Project was released; folks complained about the way the camera moved. It was rather shaky, but culture overblew it. House on Eden is actually as all over the place as BWP is joked to be, bouncing and jostling.\u00a0 There is an interesting idea of several types of cameras: modern 4k, 2000s Handicam, and Super 8mm are used. Cutting between the cameras is a bit jarring, but it kept me engaged enough. More than the content for sure.\u00a0 Nothing comes of it. – I thought the different cameras show different things, but they\u2019re not used for anything special. Just another indicator of \u201cmaybe this will be cool\u201d without the thought of how it fits in a narrative.<\/span><\/p>\n

Luckily, the camera settles down after they find the house. A beautiful mansion in the middle of the woods. I note its beauty as it\u2019s obviously an in-use historical location. Pristine. This is eventually mentioned at the very end, but until then, it\u2019s mighty annoying to hear \u201cabandoned\u201d over and over (prepare for many repeated lines, the \u201cAdlibbing but don\u2019t know how\u201d type). There, they perform their investigation. Sometimes weird stuff happens. But every time it looks like a scene may be building, it stops all momentum. There\u2019s no building between the scenes, increasing the tension. Everything could be cut or rearranged with little bearing. There is one jump scare that lands, but it\u2019s a fake-out. So, boo.<\/span><\/p>\n

House of Eden may be the most half-assed movie I\u2019ve seen in a long time. No idea is committed to. Nothing adds up. Nothing comes to bear. It\u2019s a hodgepodge of half-thought-out ideas. The entirety of the first 40 minutes doesn\u2019t make a dent in the semblance of a plot. House of Eden is 75 minutes long. An audience member can arrive over halfway into that tiny runtime and miss nothing. Except for the nausea of the walk. A weird cabin found during said walk? Nothing of it. Is what happening a ghost? Who? People? Who keeps the house? Who are the others we see? What happened during the blackout? Was this a setup? I was constantly thinking, \u201cOkay, where is this going? What\u2019s the point?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>It can be said that this movie was never meant to get to where it is, playing on the big screen before premiering on Shudder. It was made by YouTube\/TikTokers for their channel, a little thing to shoot off over a week on a budget of chewing gum and pocket lint. But that\u2019s not an excuse. I watch a metric butt-ton of shorts for Crypticon Seattle programming that shine from a dime. The Battery cost 10,000 and is astounding. Evil Dead was made by pure force of will. Heck, the mentioned Blair Witch Project used a tiny budget for big effect (it has detractors, but I\u2019m not one of them). That\u2019s the same excuse for dismissing shoddy animated films: \u201cit\u2019s for kids.\u201d You made it, put effort in.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019ll be interesting to see how the rest of the year pans out. Though I have seen many films I\u2019ve not liked, House of Eden was by far the worst I\u2019ve watched out of the 100, as of July 31st, 2025, films I\u2019ve had the pleasure to sit through. Will something dig deeper than House of Eden? Only time will tell. <\/span>
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