{"id":50607,"date":"2025-11-14T08:00:22","date_gmt":"2025-11-14T13:00:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/?p=50607"},"modified":"2025-11-13T20:25:19","modified_gmt":"2025-11-14T01:25:19","slug":"the-bootleg-files-no-indians-please","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/2025\/11\/14\/the-bootleg-files-no-indians-please\/","title":{"rendered":"The Bootleg Files: No Indians Please!"},"content":{"rendered":"

BOOTLEG FILES 922:<\/strong> \u201cNo Indians Please!\u201d (1948 silent truncated version of Abbott and Costello\u2019s \u201cRide \u2018Em Cowboy\u201d).
\n
\nLAST SEEN:<\/strong> On YouTube.<\/p>\n

AMERICAN HOME VIDEO:<\/strong> None.<\/p>\n

REASON FOR BOOTLEG STATUS: <\/strong>No perceived commercial value.<\/p>\n

CHANCES OF SEEING A COMMERCIAL DVD RELEASE:<\/strong> Nope, sorry.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve been following this column, you may recall that I\u2019ve been on a mini-Abbott and Costello kick. Two weeks ago, I reviewed the new AI-fueled parody \u201cAbbott and Costello Meets the Exorcist\u201d and last week I dug up a video record of a Texas theater company\u2019s 1984 live stage production of \u201cAbbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein.\u201d I was going to put Bud and Lou back on the shelf until I saw a notice announcing that November is Native American Heritage Month \u2013 and that seemed like the perfect cue to unspool the team\u2019s 1948 release of \u201cNo Indians Please!\u201d
\n<\/p>\n

What, you don\u2019t remember an Abbott and Costello film by that title? Well, there\u2019s nothing wrong with your memory \u2013 they never made a film called \u201cNo Indians Please!\u201d That film was a severely truncated version of their 1942 \u201cRide \u2018Em Cowboy\u201d which was released in a silent format to the home movie market in 1948 as a silent film.<\/p>\n

Yes, I realize that explanation creates an equal amount of explanation and confusion. After all, why release a truncated version instead of the full film? And why release it as a silent movie, especially since Abbott and Costello were among the most dialogue-driven comedians of all time? Allow me to explain.<\/p>\n

Back in the day, long before the letters V, C, and R were combined into an entertainment format acronym, movie lovers could enjoy classic films in the comfort of the homes through companies that sold or leased prints in formats that were smaller than the theatrical 35mm standard. But films that were offered in such formats as 16mm, 9.5mm, 8mm, and Super 8 could not accommodate a feature-length film on a single reel. Often, the original films were edited down \u2013 sometimes just a reel or two was dropped, but often the edits came quite severely. In the case of \u201cRide \u2018Em Cowboy,\u201d that movie was roughly 90 minutes long when it played on the big screen but it became less than 10 minutes for the home screen release of \u201cNo Indians Please!\u201d<\/p>\n

As for the silent aspect of \u201cNo Indians Please!\u201d, many home movie projectors were only able to show silent films \u2013 and by that, I mean purely silent films, without even a tinny piano soundtrack that some people associate with the titles of the pre-talkies era. Of course, it was cheaper to release films without sound and to sell projectors that didn\u2019t have a sound element. Incredibly, people didn\u2019t complain and for years those types of films and projectors were popular.<\/p>\n

In this case, \u201cNo Indians Please!\u201d slices and dices scenes from \u201cRide \u2018Em Cowboy\u201d that finds Abbott and Costello getting off a train in a Western town. Costello has some very fancy Western-style pants while the other men exiting the train are without pants \u2013 Costello won them while gambling with his fellow passengers on the ride.<\/p>\n

The pair arrive in the town of Gower Gulch and are met by local Indians. Costello is terrified by their presence, but one Indian tells him (via an intertitle in this silent presentation), \u201cTry my famous spring water.\u201d The men walk into a general store and Costello buys a jug, uncorks it, and the contents shoot into his face. He then takes an arrow and shoots it out of the store \u2013 don\u2019t ask why, that isn\u2019t explained \u2013 and it lands on a painted heart on a teepee. According to Indian custom, whoever shoots an arrow into the heart must marry the single young woman within the structure. In this case, it is a large and unattractive woman. <\/p>\n

Abbott and Costello beat a hasty retreat to a conveniently parked convertible and drive off, with Indian warriors on horseback giving chase. The bulk of the film involves the wild chase, which includes some gasp-inducing stunt driving, some too-obvious rear projection effects that are supposed to give the impression that Abbott and Costello are really driving the car, and some wonderfully silly gags including a bear (obviously a man in a costume) taking over as the driver.<\/p>\n

The final minute of the film is the start of a dream sequence with Costello going to Dr. Ha Ha\u2019s Sanitarium to seek help because he keeps dreaming of Indians. Dr. Ha He (played by Abbott) initially is in surgical gear, but when he removes his cap and mask it is revealed he is an Indian. In \u201cRide \u2018Em Cowboy,\u201d this was the beginning of a Wild West version of the burlesque skit \u201cCrazy House,\u201d but in \u201cNo Indians Please!\u201d the film abruptly stops with Costello aghast that Dr. Ha Ha is an Indian.<\/p>\n

Even with the lack of a soundtrack, one can view \u201cNo Indians Please!\u201d and almost hear the original film \u2013 Abbott\u2019s gravelly and always exasperated voice, Costello\u2019s anxious bellowing and frightened yelps, the anvil-subtle music of the chase sequence and the appropriately wacky sound effects that punctuated the whole zany endeavor.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo Indians Please!\u201d was released by Castle Films, which by this time was a subsidiary of Universal Pictures, hence the Abbott and Costello connection. While \u201cNo Indians Please!\u201d fell into the public domain, the \u201cRide \u2018Em Cowboy\u201d material is still very much under copyright protection. Nonetheless, collectors who obtained rare prints of \u201cNo Indians Please!\u201d uploaded them to YouTube \u2013 here is one of those postings for your viewing pleasure:<\/p>\n