{"id":9295,"date":"2006-09-11T19:08:54","date_gmt":"2006-09-11T23:08:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/?p=9295"},"modified":"2006-09-11T19:08:54","modified_gmt":"2006-09-11T23:08:54","slug":"sasquatch-mountain-devil-on-the-mountain-2006","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/2006\/09\/11\/sasquatch-mountain-devil-on-the-mountain-2006\/","title":{"rendered":"Sasquatch Mountain (Devil on the Mountain) (2006)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"sasquatch-mountain\"<\/a>Want to make a monster movie but don\u2019t have enough of the resources? It\u2019s easy. Cast a cult actor for about five minutes, litter your film with nothing but character actors, and include a man in a monster suit draped in the shadows the entire time. \u201cSasquatch Mountain\u201d is not a ride on Six Flags, but a pretty lame monster movie that I happened to catch on television recently. Shot in a rather annoying blue tint for the entire film, \u201cSasquatch Mountain\u201d involves mercenaries, hillbilly hunters, a Blair Witch themed sub-plot, and Cerina Vincent as a hostage. I adore how these horror films try to include everything for everyone, and neither of the attempts is amusing.<\/p>\n

You can sense the sheer desperation by the directors to create something compelling since the budget for the monster suit is low. So, instead, we\u2019re subjected to forty minutes of our mercenaries arguing, bickering, fighting, waiting in the woods, and muttering such dramatic dialogue as: \u201cSee, what we got here is a Mexicano Stand Off.\u201d The rest of the film is comprised of our villains jabbering back and forth, the writer attempting to force characterization, and a lot of melodrama that never makes \u201cSasquatch Mountain\u201d remotely watchable. And of course, everyone is lusting over Vincent\u2019s character\u2026 wait that\u2019s not much of a stretch. I like Cerina Vincent. She sets my soul on fire. Not just a spark, but a flame.<\/p>\n

A big roaring flame. She makes even the worst films bearable, and the most ridiculous films watchable. \u201cIt Waits\u201d? Hell, she made me believe that a hot chick could be a park ranger. \u201cCabin Fever\u201d? She made that unwatchable piece of horse vomit slightly more bearable. \u201cAnother Teen Movie\u201d? She was nude throughout the entire film. Need I say more? She\u2019s busty, most of her acting revolves around her puffing her chest and muttering her dialogue in her silky whisper, and I love her.I really wish I had more of a review for you to read, but I\u2019ll admit, there\u2019s not much to \u201cSasquatch Mountain.\u201d It\u2019s yet another really boring, really forgettable, and awfully redundant monster movie that takes itself too seriously. But I\u2019ll go easy on it since Cerina Vincent makes me think naughty thoughts.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Want to make a monster movie but don\u2019t have enough of the resources? It\u2019s easy. Cast a cult actor for about five minutes, litter your film with nothing but character actors, and include a man in a monster suit draped in the shadows the entire time. \u201cSasquatch Mountain\u201d is not a ride on Six Flags, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[58,240,477,885,896,1012,1087],"class_list":["post-9295","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-movie-reviews","tag-action","tag-crime","tag-horror","tag-s","tag-sasquatch","tag-survival","tag-thriller"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9295","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9295"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9295\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9295"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9295"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cinema-crazed.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9295"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}