A young man enters into a bet to bed his crush in the lethargic sex “comedy” Paradise Bungalows. Written and directed by Francesco Lucente, the 1987 film comes to Blu-ray via MVD this month.
Paradise Bungalows, to be direct, is not a good movie. I know you’re thinking, “Here’s one I haven’t heard about before”. Neither had I when the disc came in the mail to check out. But I’m willing to watch whatever crosses my eyes, whether it be just watching it because I want to or via a provided screener or review copy. And no matter how it gets to me, I will give an honest assessment. And I generally like things; I come into everything with a desire to enjoy it, and even for things I don’t like, I hope others do. I didn’t like Paradise Bungalows, an 80s Canadian sex comedy, but I’m glad I gave it a chance. For it’s always nice to find a good thing that fell through the cracks.
Whole screed finished, I can’t recommend seeking out Paradise Bungalows, or as it’s listed on IMDb, “The Virgin Queen of St. Francis High.” I’m not going to be mean, but I am going to dig into why. But it’s a painful, dull slog of a film. Awkward in execution with the blandest performers this side of the border. I’m placing the blame on the writer-director, Francesco Lucente (MVD also recently put out his other films: Badland and Starbright). Something like this could work, and has worked countless times. But bland direction, particularly in obviously not pushing the actors, sinks anything that might push past any skeeviness of the plot. The basis of the plot is the icky, but formerly commonplace, “race to score” as a pair of guys, one “nice guy” and one rich jerk, try to bed the alternate titular character at the listed titular location.
Joseph R. Straface is our lead, Mike. He sounds like Rick Moranis crossed with early MST3k seasons Joel Hodgson, very sleepy. So low energy, heavy-lidded, talking with marbles in his mouth. This is where I mean “the direction is the trouble.” I refuse to believe a director said MORE and this is the level he got. Because nearly everyone is working at this level. Like watching a filmed read-through. But even with energy, he’d be a lot to try to root for, as the schemes he uses to date and get Diane, played by a bubbly standout Stacy Christensen, to the Bungalows, and once there, are so shallow and see-through, and wildly pushy. There’s no way she’d fall for anything he’s trying, stretching any credibility and never making the audience root for Mike.
It goes the way one would expect: Mike makes moves, Diane’s friends are stuck up and fight with Mike’s friends, the bully does his bull. In an interesting touch, it’s mixed with Christmas Story-esque dream sequences where Mike pretends to be James Bond. It’s a nice touch but doesn’t do much, and Sraface’s dull acting keeps it from doing something more. Trouble is, overall, for a sex comedy, it’s not funny or anywhere near the outrageous of the sub-genre, and it’s very tame.
It’s a bit ugly in shot choice, and, as a sign of its budget – as this is a zero-budget Canadian film: the titular location is a run-down nothing, and the teen-filled swimming hole is a block of mud. But gotta do what you can with the budget. But I’m going to stop here. As I said, I’m not going to be mean, but honest.
But I will say: I’m glad for MVD and other boutique labels for pulling films out of obscurity and giving them a release in our age. Films become obscure and lost for various reasons: distribution issues, released at the wrong time. And every film is someone’s favorite. There may be some folks out there who saw this when they were younger, and it bounced around in their brain. Maybe they’ll find it and relive a good memory. Or even as an adult, it might work for you. I hope it does.
The Packaging
MVD puts Paradise Bungalows on a single disc. It’s in a standard Blu-ray case with a single-sided sleeve with that title.
The Presentation
Something like Paradise Bungalows isn’t ever going to look great, but it looks as good as it can here. It’s not washed out like transferring Vestron‘s old VHS to a Blu-ray, but not wholly sharp either. For some reason it is in 4:3 full screen. In English, with English subtitles.
The Features
The disc contains only a trailer. MVD has included a soundtrack CD. Not bad music, honestly.
Final Thoughts
Paradise Bungalows, or the Virgin Queen of St. Francis High, is interesting as a curio of a misfire of a well-trod but now-gone sub-genre. It didn’t land well with me at all, outside of sitting agog at some of the choices. But others might be into it, or for people in my circles, want to see it because of my reasons for dislike. Whatever the reason, it’s out there. Good for MVD to release very niche films like Lucente’s output. MVD recently put out Teenage Lovedolls, a movie that strikes right into my way; it won’t for others. That’s how it goes. As for this specific release, including a soundtrack is a nice choice if no features can be sourced otherwise.