The students of Grizzly Lake High School have to work together to survive when someone starts to target them while posing as the in-world horror villain, Cinderhella.
Detention has been sitting on my media wall in the comedy horror section for as long as I can remember. I knew I’d already seen it, but it recently occurred to me that I couldn’t remember anything about it other than Dane Cook’s role as the school principal. The movie’s premise offers a comedic slasher tale, but the film itself becomes a genre-hopping jaunt that doesn’t slow down. With comedy on par with an episode of iCarly, Detention feels a lot like a Nickelodeon movie that was given permission to have an R rating, raunchy jokes, and the kind of visuals that give it the perceived nature of something more mature than it really is. I don’t normally come out swinging with my reviews, but 2011’s Detention just took an hour and a half from me that I can’t get back.
I’m probably being a little mean here, as the film did get a chuckle out of me every now and then. However, the mile-a-minute pacing and non-stop onslaught of attempted comedy make the runtime feel a lot longer than it really is. This might be because the writer and director, Joseph Kahn, is much more accustomed to short form media. Kahn has done several music videos for DJ Khalid, Mariah Carey, and Nicki Minaj. His most viewed work is likely the music video he directed for Taylor Swift’s Bad Blood. Prior to Detention, Kahn’s other cinematic outing was the motorcycle answer to the Fast and the Furious franchise, Torque, which Detention takes a tongue-in-cheek swing at. If Detention taught me anything about Kahn’s career, it’s that he’s best suited for short form media.
Several concepts in Detention would have made for fantastic short films, but are instead crammed together like a kit-bashed love letter to all things cinema. While doing my research for this review, I can see why that is. Mark Palermo, who also wrote Detention with Joseph Kahn, has a very short resume with only four writing credits. Aside from the film in question, he’s also credited for writing three short films – The Killing of Kings (2004), Swiped (2017) and Smartificial (2020). With two writers specializing in music videos and short form content, it’s no wonder why Detention feels like it’s too fast paced with little wiggle room to breath. The writing from the two isn’t outright awful, but as the film carries on it all becomes disjointed. Detention opens with a slasher killing a popular girl, but eventually wanders into Freaky Friday and Hot Tub Time Machine territory. I’d elaborate, but I wouldn’t even know where to start.
It isn’t that the writing is incoherent. The movie simply throws too much at the viewer with zero stopping for reflection. This is a shame, as the cast has a lot of positive energy they brought to the project. Riley Jones, a moody and intelligent teen with a monotone demeanor finds herself catching feelings for Clapton Davis, a moody and intelligent teen with a monotone demeanor. This allows for a lot of dry back and forth quips brought to you by Shanley Caswell and Josh Hutcherson. Viewers will recognize Caswell from The Conjuring and NCIS: New Orleans. Josh Hutcherson will be most remembered as Peeta from The Hunger Games, but he has an extensive list of acting credits which most recently included Five Nights at Freddy’s and the Jason Statham action thriller, The Beekeeper.
Ione, a love interest who stands between Riley and Clapton, brings more energy to the scenes they all share. Her quips and banter are a lively contrast to the dry and dryer comedy Detention is often throwing at the viewer. Thankfully, Ione actor Spencer Locke doesn’t have to point to this film to show their work in horror as she later got roles in the Resident Evil and Conjuring franchises. The one actor in Detention who held my attention was Dane Cook, who plays school principal Verge. Cook doesn’t take up too much screen time, but the chemistry between him and the other actors bring a good change of pace to the otherwise forgettable film. Sadly, this would be his last cinematic role. Dane Cook has done television and voice over work ever since.
Detention is joke after joke, with too few landing. Even now, I can only recall why one moment made me laugh. A mother of one of the teens has time traveled to 1992. Now back in high-school and at a dance, the character goes to drink some spiked punch. A staff member berates her only to catch a tone back before being called “young lady”. If this sounds unexpected from a slasher comedy, that’s because it is. The rest of the film includes a plot about aliens, a time traveling magnetic bear, and a dash of “whodunnit” that the story boomerangs back to from time-to-time to remind you that it is, in fact, a horror-comedy. While the plot does eventually have a coherent conclusion, the journey to get there is a sporadic mess. If you were to remove one topless scene, the consistent cursing, and references to substances and suicide, you would have a Halloween movie perfect for the Disney channel.
If you haven’t seen 2011’s Detention, don’t bother. The film is neither good, nor awful, but it exists in a pocket of such mediocrity, I’m sure I’ll find myself forgetting its plot and events within another year or so. Which will probably open me up to another curious viewing that’ll leave me wishing I had watched any of the other projects I’d mentioned in this article. If, for some reason, you need to see a film I can’t properly describe due to its rapid and random nature, Detention is available for digital purchase on Google Play, Apple TV, and Amazon Prime Video.