After a thousand years of delivering yuletide cheer, Santa is freed from a deal that prevented him from acting on his true nature. Now the misunderstood demon can return to an existence of non-stop slaughter.
I stumbled upon Santa’s Slay while looking for offbeat holiday films to watch this year. The trailer reminded me of the holiday episodes of Futurama that featured the killer Santa robot, with over-the-top violence paired with a comedic lack of rhyme or reason. This is exactly what you get with this holiday release from 2005. WWE’s Bill Goldberg stars as Santa Claus, a spawn of Satan who lost a bet to an angel that forces him to spread joy and deliver gifts instead of engaging in mindless slaughter. The movie picks up right where the deal ends and Santa’s vengeance begins. Goldberg’s take on Santa is charmingly malicious, thoroughly energetic, and makes him an unsung icon as far as I’m concerned. Whether he’s tossing out a cheesy one-liner, or laughing maniacally while throwing exploding Christmas gifts, Goldberg was having the time of his life during this production.
Countering Bill Goldberg’s Santa is Douglas Alexander Smith as Nicholas Yuleson. Smith, known for his role as Ben Henrickson in the HBO series Big Love, is a snarky teenager who’s burnt out with Christmas thanks to his grandpa. Denied a name for the film, grandpa is played by the late Robert Culp. He’s a man who understands the real lore behind Santa and does all he can to prepare Nicholas for his arrival, but tends to get distracted and fails to properly educate his grandson on the topic. Rounding out the protagonist trio is Nicholas’ love interest, May. She’s a no-nonsense character who defies the laws that most heroines adhere to in horror films by being proactive. She’s played by Emilie de Ravin who’s best remembered for her long running role in the hit show, LOST. The core cast understood the assignment and found the perfect balance between taking a role seriously and remembering how tongue-in-cheek the overall project is. The result feels like the comedic acting you would see on the Disney channel if it allowed for R rated violence and mature themes. The performances won’t win any awards, but they won’t bore you to tears either.
Santa’s Slay is written and directed by David Steiman who comes from a small, albeit impressive, background of production assistance. In the two years from 1999 and 2000, Steiman worked on the films The Sex Monster, Inspector Gadget, What Lies Beneath, and Cast Away. He dropped Santa’s Slay in 2005, and then simply stepped away from the spotlight. He made sure to fill his one-off with a who’s who of guest actors. We get SNL alumni, Chris Kattan… Sitcom actress and former SAG-AFTRA president, Fran Drescher… And comedy icons Dave Thomas, Tom Lister Jr., and Saul Rubinek. You’ll find yourself snapping your fingers and pointing to the screen every time a familiar face makes an otherwise unexpected appearance.
This dark-comedy, holiday-horror, romp often reviews poorly. It currently hovers around 5 / 10 on IMDB with a 40% on Rotten Tomatoes. These reviews most likely come from folks who were expecting something with a more serious tone, or a story with a conclusive ending. For yours truly, I see nothing wrong with the simplicity that Santa’s Slay offers. The story isn’t going to elicit an emotional response, provoke deep thought, or stick with you for years to come, and that’s fine. You’re here to watch a good guy go bad before getting dealt with. It isn’t the end that matters here, it’s the journey. Viewers are here to see weaponized candy canes, sleigh based manslaughter, and maybe even an eggnog drowning. That’s exactly what you’ll get if you treat yourself to a watch this holiday season.
Santa’s Slay is currently streaming for free on Tubi.