Two deranged brothers, Michael and George, run a vegetarian diner as a front to harvest body parts to resurrect an ancient goddess named Sheetar. They are guided in this quest by the talking brain of their serial killer uncle.
You know you’re in for a special journey when the movie starts with the most delightful tongue-in-cheek content warning. Its wildly over-dramatic delivery immediately establishes the campy, low-budget tone of the film. Then, as we meet Michael and George as children, the boys are not learning their ABCs; they’re being taught the ins and outs of resurrecting a goddess. Or, as they inform us, “An immortal goddess more powerful than Superman!” Of course, there is a slight snag when Uncle Anwar finds himself gunned down by police. But apparently, death is only a minor setback. Years later, a now-grown Michael and George resurrect their uncle…well, part of him at least. Their quest requires enough body parts to piece together their goddess and, naturally, a virgin sacrifice to tie it all together. What could possibly go wrong?
The history behind the film is almost as interesting as the film itself. Blood Diner was originally conceived to be a sequel to Herschell Gordon Lewis’s Blood Feast, considered by many to be the first splatter film. Instead, director Jackie Kong recognized the accidental comedy of Blood Feast and other films of its ilk and made it intentional. Kong knows exactly the kind of schlocky, overly violent, and ridiculous film she is making and leans into it gleefully. Where else are you going to find two men taking instructions from a talking brain in a glass jar? Or nude aerobicizing cheerleaders? And yet, despite all the silliness, Kong never feels the need to turn it into deeper commentary. She embraces the ‘yes, and’ of the style and pushes every ridiculous idea even further.
The cast is just as committed to Kong’s particular brand of insanity. Across the board, the acting is over the top, and at times, not particularly good. But it would actually be more jarring if the actors were doing their very best Royal Shakespeare Company impersonations. Michael Sonye’s script certainly gives the cast plenty of utterly baffling material to work with. George wrestling a character named “Little Jimmy Hitler.” A character who, for some unknown reason, speaks through a mannequin. Deep-frying a woman’s head. A level of breasts that borders on excessive. The performances may not be winning Oscars, but everyone commits to the madness, providing plenty of memorable and quotable moments.
The sheer amount of ridiculousness packed into Blood Diner makes it incredibly fun to revisit, especially with other people. How many movies involve a vengeful goddess eating someone’s head from a large-toothed maw in her stomach? This movie works precisely because it shouldn’t work. Of course, there is a reason Blood Diner has a cult following and not a mainstream one. The extreme content and humor are not for everyone. But if you need something truly bizarre and original to watch with a group of friends who enjoy a slice of weird, rejoice: Blood Diner is the film for you.