Dear North America,
Thank you. “Disaster Movie” barely cracked the top seven in the box office. Thank you. I Was tempted to sound like one of those newspapers by declaring “Disaster Movie” a true disaster, but such Oscar Wilde wordplay (Yes, I referenced Randall Graves) is too good for Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. These are the men who felt having a character named McLover was funny. And you proved me wrong in declaring your utter stupidity. There’s a lot to be said for morbid curiosity and you weren’t curious about “Disaster Movie” were you? No.
And because of that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. We can make a difference if we decided to not see a movie instead of going because we were bored or felt obligation to our curiosity. And you did. “Disaster Movie” was number seven in North America, and right now the two douche bags behind this piece of swill are clueless as to their next steps. These are people who feel mimicking an entire scene from “Superbad” is funny. I barely made it past twenty minutes before I wanted to jump out of my fifth floor window, I wonder what the saps who paid to see it thought.
You know, for a while I doubted your intelligence and wondered how good you were for money whenever a movie came in to theaters by these two dill holes and yet here you are going on to better movies while “Disaster Movie” barely broke the top ten leaving all of us chuckling at our computers. I feel like we’ve made a breakthrough here.
I want to say thanks again and thanks for proving that dumb movies pretending to be comedy will not stand any longer. Also thanks for proving that comedy isn’t a dying art form. I can rest comfortably now.
Your friend,
Felix