National Lampoon's Van Wilder (2002)

National_Lampoon_presente_VOut of all the bad teen sex campus romps, to the classics, this has to be the worst most putrid piece of trash I’ve ever seen. This poor excuse for a comedy features the same old tired clichés we’ve seen from other sex romps except everything falls flat here. After about ten minutes into the film, I could tell the writers were scratching the bottom of the barrel with basically nothing to write in to the story. They even begin resorting to desperate measures by showing a butt shot of Merriman. Then there’s this far-fetched storyline that goes nowhere. How is it he’s able to rent a hall and hire his own employees? How is it he’s able to drive a personalized golf cart around campus when other people are walking? How is it he’s able to walk in and out of classes without the teacher’s complaining?

How is it he stays in college for seven years without a major or attending a single class? I’m thinking too much into this trash heap. Attempting to find some shred of logic from this disaster is not worth it. Throughout the entire movie there’s no wit or charm to this, so the writers begin throwing very cheap, obvious, and over-used toilet and sex jokes from a dog with overgrown testicles to ugly old ladies who are really sex fiends. Hell, they even manage to try to concoct an outrageous scene where the rival fraternity in the film eats cannolies which are filled with a sort of internal fluid that I won’t mention. This sequence was not funny but very crude and vomit inducing. Rather than laughing, all I did was cringe in my seat and gag while I watched.

I won’t give away this ridiculous disgusting sequence, this one you have to see for yourself. Also, the film goes for annoying sight gags desperately put in place to grab a laugh from the audience and it’s all so predictable I never once broke into a smile. If the movie wasn’t bad enough, the supporting characters are nothing but dumb harsh racial stereotypes including an immigrated Hindu guy who’s an assistant to Van Wilder, and his pot smoking African American sidekick. Word to the wise: don’t feature these annoying cliché ethnic characters because it’s pathetic and just plain offensive. I sat by the screen expecting the gang member Hispanic to pop up, but luckily I was let down.

The entire plot is contrived featuring constant recycled movie material from previous sex romps including the stuck up fraternity rivaling with the hero; I never got the sense that there was anything even remotely original in this film and often times it left me groaning in pain. The love plot between Reynolds and Tara Reid is incredibly boring and ultimately uninteresting. Tara Reid looks bored in this film and it’s not hard to discover that by her wooden cardboard acting. For a movie that revolves around a college, this is probably the dumbest most senseless film I’ve ever seen. Rude, crude, obnoxious, disgusting, and unfunny is all this movie is. I’ll think of more hateful words later.

 

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