A Green Beret comes home from war to find his high school overrun with gang violence and drugs, and must use the powers of capoeira to protect the students from a dangerous drug lord in Only the Strong.
Some films, you just can’t tell if they were trying to be good, trying to be bad, or trying to be great and failing. Then there’s Only the Strong, which I think was trying to do all three, while also forgetting that it’s not an 80s movie. Coming out a few years past when you would think a movie like this would’ve come out, and being the only major Hollywood production to feature the Afro-Brazilian martial art of capoeira, you would think the movie might have a shot at greatness. It doesn’t. But, boy, does it try.
As if the plotline wasn’t enough for you to gather that we’re going to have to suspend our functioning logic in order to even dip a big toe into the enjoyment this film certainly thinks it has to offer, writer/director Sheldon Lettich decides to also treat us to absurdly humorous statistics of just how far this beloved high school has fallen (really? Only 12% graduate? Shouldn’t the state be doing someth–oh, never mind, it’s set in Florida) and the obligatory love story that culminated in one of the most unsettling onscreen kisses I’ve had the horror of watching. We’re told this school is dangerous by being shown switchblades and guns stowed in every pocket, but as to be expected, our hero manages to be the only one to come along and win over these degenerates. This certainly can’t be the same Lettich that brought us Bloodsport, right? Wait… was Bloodsport even that good? Only the Strong is cheesy and unintentionally hilarious, with everything you’ve come to expect from an 80s martial arts movie in all the wrong places.
While I adore Mark Dacascos as not only a martial artist, but an actor, his talents are somewhat lost here, aside from the fact that he sells the campiness with absolutely no shame and the biggest smile on his face. If there’s one reason to keep watching, aside from the burning question of if these cute-but-vicious rowdy teens are going to graduate in spite of the literal world being against them, it’s for the fact that you get to watch Dacascos have a whole lot of fun for almost 100 minutes. Not to mention Paco Christian Prieto is a sullen and sulky caricature of a villain, illustrated most poignantly by his “I Can’t Believe it’s Not Seagal” ponytail, and saying he’s aiming for an Oscar is an understatement. The man acts his heart out like he’s fashioned himself the martial arts version of Daniel Day Lewis. And I couldn’t stop laughing over it.
The framing. The coloring. The choreography. It’s all so dated and aged, and yet there’s something about it that’s charming and endearing because it definitely has a heart. That is, if you can look past the painfully cliched plot, the inexplicable and random greasiness of our characters, and the fact that drug lords choose to fight using capoeira instead of, you know, guns. Somehow, though, it still pulls off being cute, and a time capsule for films of a bygone era that didn’t see the continued investment of Hollywood funding and restoration. If only Prieto would’ve won that Oscar…
Only the Strong is campy and cheesy, but the best part about it is, I can’t figure out of it’s self aware. Does it know how bad it is, or is it in denial about it like the principal of this school seems to be about his own role in everything. Either way, it’s exactly what you would expect from a cliched martial arts movie. Don’t believe me? Just look at that poster. If that ain’t a big ol’ helping of cheddar, I don’t know what is.