Heart Eyes (2025)

 

Interesting how things align sometimes in the film world. In the past week, three theatrical films have used the tropes of rom-coms to set up and inform their non-rom-com stories.

Companion opens with a stylized meet-cute (with a dash of The Stepford Wives) to set up its sci-fi horror of gender expectations. Love Hurts uses these tropes less so for a martial arts action vehicle for Ke Huy Quan. And, of course, the reason you’re reading this – Heart Eyes finds a new couple find themselves in a meet-cute-die against a masked killer, bloodily reworking movie romances into a small, but solid, post-Scream-style self-aware slasher. I It’s uneven but enjoyable.

Heart Eyes writers Christopher Landon & Michael Kennedy previously have been involved in the Happy Death Day and Paranormal Activity series, along with Freaky and It’s A Wonderful Knife (Phillip Murphy is also credited). Director Josh Ruben previously made Scare Me (which he also wrote and starred in), Werewolves Within, and he has been a featured performer on College Humor and Dropout (seagull noise here). With that creative crew, Heart Eyes eases into genre expectations easily and understands tropes and humor. It’s David Wain’s underseen They Came Together with a body count. Will you be My Bloody Valentine?

After a stalk-and-slash opening kill sequence, setting the tone with a successful mix of bloody murder and proposal parody, our leads Jay (the immensely charming Mason Gooding, Scream V and VI) and Ally (far-less charming Olivia Holt, Totally Killer) have a series of scenes right out of a rom-com – awkward meetings at a coffee shop, remeeting at work, an uncomfortable get together; sparing and sniping in a “will-they-won’t-they?” situation. Before you can say “Harry Warden,” they end up targeted by a killer known as Heart Eyes, despite not even dating and barely even tolerating one another. The killer is named for the distinctive mask worn during the slashings of a myriad of other couples in Philadelphia and Boston the previous two Valentine’s days. Now, it seems, Heart Eyes has come to Seattle.

An aside here – I live in Seattle. While there are some establishing shots, Heart Eyes is very obviously not filmed in Seattle. Not even the standard Seattle-stand-in of Vancouver, but Aukland, New Zealand. But that’s pretty standard for film and TV- they can’t all be the Seattle-loving 70s sleazy action-flick Scorchy. Funny that both Heart Eyes and Love Hurts take place in February in cities normally covered in ice, if not uncomfortably cold at this point, but every character is acting and dressed like it’s July.

Once in the heart-shaped sights of the murderer, the couple finds themselves chased over the city in a series of locations straight out of the slasher playbook, whether it be abandoned places, strangely empty public service buildings, or body-count-ready parties. (Heart Eyes has a heavy body count, usually with wonderfully practical effects, so fear not those with “might as well be PG-13” concerned).

When it’s going, it goes well: funny, bloody, delivering the horror-rom-com goods in spades (suit change to hearts?). Ruben stages scenes effectively and efficiently. While never partially scary, there is a skill to Ruben’s set-ups. The kills are fun and clever, with an over-the-top nonsensical climax ported near-directly from a Scream film. Of particular enjoyment is the “killer knows all” trope of being just where they need to be. If the film wasn’t so self-aware, it’d be annoying but instead, it plays into the fun of it.

Unfortunately, the sequences that work are stymied by the film stopping its momentum far too often. The rush creaks to a crawl as the script fumbles to connect the pieces, stopping in places and moments for overlong periods. The genre-reflexive dialogue, for both sides of the coin, is sometimes a little too on the nose, “Aren’t we clever?” Several interesting characters vanish after introductions and important moments, such as the police pair Devon Sawa and Jordana Brewster as Hobbes and Shaw (yes, they directed a reference to the Fast and Furious franchise Brewster is herself in). Maybe scenes featuring these set-ups being paid off were cut for whatever reason (especially in bestie Gigi Zumbado, vanishing after being set-up as an important character), but their absence is notable.

I’m wondering if the obvious reveal is on purpose. I’ll leave that up to you.

Heart Eyes plays at the same level as Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving. It’s a solid Scream-like slasher inversion, playing with and commenting on tropes, providing a very entertaining ride, but not without warts.

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