A New York cop, a California teen, and a whole mess of violent cannabis growers are the perfect blend for this 1986 sleeper hit. Quiet Cool is a tale of vengeance worthy of a cult classic status.
When I discovered Quiet Cool, it was thanks to an old VHS tape someone had recorded onto. After getting a couple of scenes in, I decided I needed to replace the degrading VHS with a formal release. All the tapes I found at the time were moldy, and I didn’t have my machine that cleans tapes yet. So the next rational step was to grab a copy on blu-ray, but they don’t exist. When I checked for a DVD copy, I only found a handful available and they were going for upwards of $150. I settled for streaming, but again found nothing. No service had it available, and nobody had done society the favor of uploading a copy to YouTube. I refused to watch my VHS recording. It was missing the opening scene and had become borderline unwatchable after a previous owner had poorly stored it. It wouldn’t be until years later, when I stumbled upon a local Craigslist ad, that I would be able to get my hands on a DVD copy. When I tell you that I was happy to pay $60 for it, know that I’m telling you the truth. Quiet Cool quickly, and unironically, became one of my all-time favorite films.
Directed and co-written by Clay Borris, Quiet Cool opens up with New York City cop, Joe Dylanne, waking up in his messy studio apartment. He promptly starts his day by taking his dirt bike to work. On the way, he witnesses a purse snatcher on roller-skates and promptly chases after him. Pay no mind to the fact that he’s on a motorcycle and the criminal is on skates, this chase lasts about five minutes. At one point, the two of them enter the New York City subway at Broad Street, go through a subway car, and then exit the subway system at the Brooklyn bridge. Distance be damned. This is all to set up a beautiful moment where Joe grabs the skater, speeds up his bike, and slings him into the Hudson river. Before you can fully process the sheer goofy chaos that just happened, you’re suddenly staring at the wilderness of the Pacific Northwest and introduced to our second main character, Joshua Greer, who chose to roam the woods and winds up witnessing a man’s execution at the hands of a violent gang of cannabis growers. After fleeing the scene, the gang follows him back to his parents who they promptly kill before throwing Joshua off of a nearby cliff. Welcome to Quiet Cool.
Joshua’s sister, Katy, happens to be the ex of Joe Dylanne, who she calls once she realizes her family is missing. Still harboring a soft spot for Katy, Joe leaves New York for Babylon, California to search for the missing family members, and to rekindle an old flame in the process. Not everything is pleasant upon his arrival. While Katy is happy to see him, a majority of the locals seem to be put off by his arrival. The more Joe digs around, the more inhospitable the small woodland community becomes. A bar fight, a thinly veiled threat from the local sheriff, and a bunch of attempted misdirection only motivates Joe into digging deeper. His investigation leads to the discovery of Joshua, still alive and waging a one-teen-war on the cannabis drug empire that took his parents from him using his survival skills. When Joe asks Joshua why he didn’t tell Katy what had happened, or that he was still alive, Joshua replies with the most 1980’s action film line possible… “This is my fight.”
Now the two are a pair on a mission, utilizing anything they can to wipe out the gang that has a death grip on the small Californian community. Their adventure is full of explosions, shoot-outs, and cleverly placed booby-traps. At no point does Quiet Cool become boring, slow, or a chore to get through. The film is entertaining between its ridiculous opening and its final reveal, and to this day I fail to see why this movie has slipped into obscurity. Fans of The Warriors will recognize Joe Dylanne, portrayed by James Remar who played Ajax in the 1970’s cult classic. Friday the 13th fans can keep their eyes open for Ted White as a goon named Ellis. White played Jason Voorhees in Friday the 13th – The Final Chapter, where he infamously terrorized Corey Feldman. New Line Cinema also slips a scene from A Nightmare on Elm Street into the film, seen being watched by a henchman. The entire cast brings entertaining energy to the movie, with nobody underselling their attempts.
The soundtrack doesn’t have much to offer, but what it brings to the table is good enough for me. Joshua carries a cassette player with him and listens to California Dreamin’ by The Mamas and Papas a few times throughout the film, but only in brief moments. It never overstays its welcome. Quiet Cool also secured its own theme song by Joe Lamont, who had released his hit songs, Secrets You Keep and Victims of Love, a year prior in 1985. The sound design itself is fantastic, with every explosion, gun shot, and impact sounding exactly as it should.
While I want to deep dive into the meat of the movie, I don’t want to rob a viewer of an untainted experience. Sure, Quiet Cool is a huge chore to get your hands on. You’ll either need a working VCR, have the money to throw at an out-of-print DVD, or hope… By the time you read this… That someone has uploaded it somewhere for streaming. If this quick review doesn’t make the hunt seem worthwhile, maybe Quiet Cool’s movie poster will.