Like most people, I was introduced to “Manos” through the spectators of “Mystery Science Theater 3000” in what is perhaps their funniest episode. Sadly, while the episode itself is a riot, “Manos” doesn’t hold up well to watching for the pure fun of it. That’s because “Manos” is primarily a really awful movie with nothing worth salvaging. There are absolutely no pros that can be taken from watching “Manos,” and it’s mainly appreciated for being so awful and nothing more. It’s shocking how a film that’s barely seventy minutes feels like an utter eternity to sit through. Many films are given “Worst” tags by everyone, but “Manos” genuinely deserves its label as one of the worst movies ever made.
While the story behind its production is fascinating, and tragic, “Manos” is a fiasco of a horror movie that just doesn’t work. It’s nonsensical, pointless, plods along without a single narrative seam, and without the filler would likely be boiled down to thirty minutes in length. No one really intends to make a bad movie, but there are those occasions where a well meaning director stumbles in to the annals of bad movie infamy, and it’s a sight to behold. “Manos” centers on a normal suburban family who are driving, and driving, and driving through the southwest for a much needed vacation. After minutes of the brood driving, they get lost and end up at a desolate lodge that’s run by the enigmatic and creepy Torgo. He’s a hoof legged henchman for a black magic cult figure named the Master, who has devious plans for the normal family.
He also has six wives, all of whom basically dance around and cat fight. Their plans are to possess mother Margaret and daughter Debbie, while murdering father Michael to satisfy the god Manos. Most of “Manos” is the signal of bad directing and really horrible production problems that stifled what may have just been a mediocre drive-in horror movie. The rest is inexplicably awful filler that either serves no purpose, or was left in the film for the sake of presenting the illusion of a purpose. There’s a long montage of driving in the beginning of the film, and the story consistently checks back with a couple on the side of the road necking for what seems like hours on end. “Manos” is painful, but if you look hard enough there are shards and pieces of a film scattered throughout the run time that signaled the director almost had something coherent in mind. Even the modern audience that loves to hate watch will find “Manos” absolutely excruciating to sit through.
Featured on the Blu-Ray is a commentary with actors Tom Neyman and Jackey Raye Neyman-Jones. There’s the “Grindhouse Version” of the film which is the unrestored state of the movie. “Hands: The Fate of ‘Manos’” is a half hour look at the film’s legacy with host Benjamin Solovey. Solovey discusses the mythology of “Manos, the terrible shoot, the collection of untested actors, and the film’s horrible premiere in El Paso. Among the interviews are Tom Neyman, Jackey Raye Neyman-Jones, Diane Adelson, and photographer Anselm Spring, who discusses the film’s shoot, and explains some of the most widely circulated rumors.
There’s shocking dismissal of “Mystery Science Theater 3000” as it’s given merely a footnote, despite the show being a large reason for the film’s resurrection and place in pop culture. “Restoring the Hands of Fate” is a six minute look at Solovey’s restoration of “Manos,” and the process behind it. “Felt: The Puppet Hands of Fate” is a four minute look at the “Manos: The Hands of Felt” a puppet parody sow by Rachel Jackson.