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The Bootleg Files: The Plank

BOOTLEG FILES 812: “The Plank” (1967 British comedy film).

LAST SEEN: On YouTube.

AMERICAN HOME VIDEO: None.

REASON FOR BOOTLEG STATUS: It never made it across the Atlantic for a commercial release.

CHANCES OF SEEING A COMMERCIAL DVD RELEASE:
Not in the U.S. market.

For every Benny Hill, Monty Python or “Are You Being Served?” that crossed the Atlantic, there are scores of British funnymen who either tried and failed to find an American audience or never gave it a go. Two of the most inventive and delightful British comics to find favor in their country, Eric Sykes and Tommy Cooper, are mostly unknown to Americans – and I might wonder if today’s younger Britons are familiar with these yesteryear stars.

In 1964, Sykes was starring in the BBC sitcom “Sykes and a…” that included an episode where he played a bumbling carpenter trying to deliver a wooden plank needed to finish the installation of a floor. Sykes felt the material had the potential of being expanded beyond the confines of his half-hour series, and in 1967 he arranged for the episode to be made into a short feature film. He tapped Cooper, who was also a popular fixture on British television, to co-star with him.

The 1964 episode was shot without dialogue, giving the impression of a contemporary riff on a classic silent film. For the 1967 film – which was titled “The Plank” – dialogue is used sparingly, with the emphasis put on wordless physical humor.

And this is where “The Plank” wobbles. Sykes and Cooper were masters of comic punchlines, and limiting them to a state of quasi-mime diluted their respective effectiveness as performers. Sykes also took on the task of directing the film, a responsibility that was beyond his talents – much of the action is sluggish, lacking the zing needed for a slapstick romp.

The concept of “The Plank” is simple – Sykes and Cooper are carpenters who are finishing the construction of a floor in a new home when they realize they are one plank short of completing their project. They hop into Sykes’ small car and head to a lumber yard where towers of wooden planks stand in ominous, almost Stygian power. After finally securing the plank they need, they fasten it to the top of their car and drive back to their project – but while on the road, almost everything that can go wrong occurs.

The basic problem is having the comics trying to take on a Laurel and Hardy persona, with Cooper as the hopelessly dimwitted Laurel character and Sykes as the slightly more efficient but still inept Hardy role. Neither man is right for his role, but they gamely go through their paces despite this obvious handicap.

Sykes also wrote the screenplay and he unfortunately allowed scenes to drag on to long. Potentially amusing sequences as the car doors opening whenever one door is slammed, the men trying to navigate the labyrinthine lumber yard or a prolonged drive with a delivery man balancing precariously on the edge of the rooftop-secured outstay their welcome long after the initial joke has played out.

Sykes also sought to enliven “The Plank” with celebrity cameos. However, he opted to bring in actors who were primarily known from their work in British television and were mostly unknown outside of their country. Some these cameos are genuinely amusing – Dermot Kelly as a sour-faced milkman, Jimmy Edwards as an inefficient policeman, Jim Dale as a house painter who coats an irate homeowner – but to today’s viewer the majority of these blink-and-you’ll-miss-them appearances will not resonate.

“The Plank” clocked in at 51 minutes, far shorter than the average feature film. However, the J. Arthur Rank Organization felt it was strong enough to play in British theaters. In 1974, the material was re-edited into a 44-minute piece for another release in British cinemas. As far as I can determine, it was never screened in the U.S., nor did it play on American television.

Sykes realized he had the right idea but the wrong approach to “The Plank” and he remade it in 1979, taking on Cooper’s role with Arthur Lowe of “Dad’s Army” and “Bless Me Father” fame playing his original part. That version ran 30 minutes and is widely considered superior to its longer predecessor.

“The Plank” is nowhere to be found in any U.S. home entertainment release, although an unauthorized upload is on YouTube. Die-hard Anglophiles might enjoy viewing this for completist purposes, but otherwise this curio can be passed by.

IMPORTANT NOTICE: While this weekly column acknowledges the presence of rare film and television productions through the so-called collector-to-collector market, this should not be seen as encouraging or condoning the unauthorized duplication and distribution of copyright-protected material, either through DVDs or Blu-ray discs or through postings on Internet video sites.

Listen to Phil Hall’s award-winning podcast “The Online Movie Show with Phil Hall” on SoundCloud and his radio show “Nutmeg Chatter” on WAPJ-FM in Torrington, Connecticut, every Sunday. Phil Hall’s new book “Jesus Christ Movie Star” is now available from BearManor Media.