Join Ladybug, an unlucky assassin, as he attempts to conduct a simple snatch and grab aboard Japan’s bullet train, while everything that could go wrong for him, does, and in spectacular fashion, in Bullet Train.
What movie comes to mind when you think of “Stayin’ Alive” by The Bee Gees? Did you say Saturday Night Fever? Wrong. It should be Bullet Train. Don’t believe me? Then go watch it.
Bullet Train is a high speed, action filled romp full of outrageous stunts, extensive explosions, and frenetic mystery… and yet I couldn’t stop laughing from 5 minutes in. Building upon the humor of the source novel by Kotaro Isaka and taking the absurd comedy angle and leaning into it just enough to split the genre right down the middle, we’re treated to a film that never takes itself too seriously, but manages to do so just enough to keep the story engaging and fun. Building tension mounts with farcical payoffs and preposterous events that move the story along quickly, and there’s never really a dull moment to be found.
While the lead role of Ladybug is both endearing and relatable, and it’s filled by none other than Brad Pitt, the true stars of the film who steal the show are none other than Aaron Taylor Johnson’s Tangerine and Brian Tyree Henry’s Lemon, twins (a relationship which is in itself hilarious) who manage to grind on each other’s nerves while also very obviously loving one another immensely. These two enter the picture with vibrant personalities, Tangerine being a kleptomaniac and Lemon being obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine, and it’s apparent from that very first introductory scene that they’re going to be the best part of the movie. Bickering about everything from their namesakes to how many men they’ve killed, the hilarity of their dynamic feels like a modernized take on Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor, and you can’t help but smile every time one of them is onscreen.
That’s why it’s such a shame that the film falls flat just before the finale. A victim of its own setup and runtime, Bullet Train careens off course a bit for the last 20 or so minutes, trying to pull everything together with just one too many beloved characters lost along the way. A piece of the magic puzzle is quite literally killed off, and from there the story is just not the same. Still, the laughs continue to abound, and it does manage to tie everything up in a rather nice fashion, giving way to a few shocking twists and turns that don’t feel rushed or forced and culminating in a great bit of special effects that is, quite literally, a trainwreck you can’t look away from.
With great performances from everyone involved, including a pre-Shogun Hiroyuki Sanada, Joey King, Logan Lerman, Bad Bunny, and Andrew Koji, and with a few surprise guests in the form of Michael Shannon, Sandra Bullock, Zazie Beetz, Channing Tatum, and even Ryan Reynolds in a blink and you’ll miss it cameo, it’s hard to imagine anyone would have a bad time watching Bullet Train, unless you have no soul.
David Leitch has proven himself time and time again to be a reliable director, with projects under his belt that show just how capable he is with a camera and a script, and Bullet Train is no exception to that. It’s not here to be anything other than fun, and expecting it to be more than that is to expect a different movie altogether. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and you’ll want a Fiji Water and a goldfish biscuit.