Two lesbians in 1999 inadvertently stumble upon a briefcase full of important “secret things” and wind up in the crosshairs of some rather unsavory folks.
The Coen Brothers have made some really fantastic films in their time. Always skirting the line between black comedy and thrilling drama, I used to feel that neither brother could make a truly bad film. That was before I saw Drive-Away Dolls. Wait, I take that back. I wouldn’t say it’s a “truly bad” film. It’s worse. It’s one of those movies that really should’ve been better, but just couldn’t shed enough of its pretentious self absorption and belief in itself to ever become relatable or enjoyable. Instead, we get a messy, erratic, and oftentimes insulting depiction of lesbianism and their association with male genitalia. How’s that for a slap in the face to LGBTQ representation?
From a tired script that uses a few too many clichés and overused plotlines, Ethan Coen brings us a film that’s under- baked, full of performances that are underutilized, and shows us which brother is the better director, apparently. Or maybe they’re best when they’re together. Regardless, Drive-Away Dolls is annoying, whiny, and weirdly exploitative of the lesbian lead characters, depicting them as sex starved, somewhat idiotic women who apparently aren’t fulfilled in their lesbianism and need to rely upon silicone penises in order to achieve sexual release. Because as if the movie wasn’t already insulting enough, we’re treated to what was apparently supposed to be a shocking reveal that a movie about lesbians features a briefcase full of dildos.
Margaret Qualley is disgustingly objectified and ignored for her capabilities as an actress, watering her performance down to one of a painfully generic Southern accent and weird infatuation with her friend’s sex life. She’s a fantastic actress, and she tries hard, but there’s no way even she can elevate this character beyond the cage in which she’s been placed. And it’s even worse with Geraldine Viswanathan, because her character is the more “stupid” of the two, and she deserves better than what this film has to offer. Especially since we don’t get any actual representation of real lesbianism here, but rather Ethan Coen’s idea of what it means to be a lesbian. It’s rather gross and weirdly misogynistic while telling itself that it isn’t. Even the supporting cast might as well not even be there, with such criminal underuse of Pedro Pascal, Matt Damon and Beanie Feldstein that it got to the point that I found myself getting angry every time they were onscreen.
My only true praise for the film comes from a technical aspect. The cinematography is exactly what you would expect from a Coen movie, with intense coloration and shadows, and the sound design is really well done. The score and soundtrack are deliciously 90s, and the set design feels like you’ve really stepped back in time to 1999. It’s pretty to look at. And that’s about as far as it goes.
Drive-Away Dolls is a cacophony of bad facets that all come together to make for one awful movie. Some may enjoy it. I certainly didn’t. And that’s without even getting into how sick I am of uninformed straight men making movies about lesbians just so they can exploit them. It’s not hard to consult with a member of the LGBTQ community. We walk amongst you. Maybe you should check with one before you start yelling “Action!”