When I saw the words “Unintentional Comedy” pop up as I did research on this movie, I got a little excited. Then, when I read “Environmental Disaster Film” and “Romantic Horror Movie” within the same sentence I mentally heard the sound that plays at carnival games when you win a prize: AHOOOOOGAH!!! AHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGAHHH!!! You see, I thought this was like Sharknado. That it was a conscious attempt to make a bad movie by a completely self-aware filmmaker. I did not know that this was a passion project with a message. NOW I AM INVESTED! Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you BIRDEMIC: SHOCK AND TERROR.
Quick Recap! When COVID shut down everything two years ago, I started an online bad movie night get-together with some friends that we eventually dubbed “Bad Movie Monday”. The premise was simple: We’d torture each other every Monday with the worst trash we could find, tell a few jokes, cheer each other up, and in the process maybe discover some weird obscure cinema that we might never have seen any other way. This series of reviews will feature highlights of those night, so you can all share in the fun and maybe get some ideas for your own movie night.
I admire movies like Birdemic. They’re the vision of a person who has some very deep and profound thoughts about the world but doesn’t have the skills to share them with the rest of us. See, the problem with a lot of passion projects is that there’s lots of passion but no real moment where anyone behind or in front of the camera stops and thinks to themselves “I should learn how to do this well.” So, one might say there’s too much focus on the passion and not enough attention to the project.
What I tend to dislike about the modern crop of movies is that they don’t really commit to their own opinions, whatever those opinions may be. When it comes to art, I tend not to care about politics and ideology as much as I care about honesty and self-expression. You watch some of this newer stuff and it’s obvious that it was written by a committee of wishy washy sycophants who sat in a circle, passing around timid studio approved ideas, and nothing was written down until everything was cleared by the legal department. Essentially watering down the original vision for public consumption. Simplifying and commodifying complicated, often weird and disturbing, viewpoints in order to make more money.
Not the guy who did Birdemic. James Nguyen went out there and made his movie and he didn’t compromise. He didn’t know how to direct. He didn’t know how to write. He didn’t know how to do special effects. He had no money. He had no professional actors. He had no professional equipment. Did that stop him? HELL NO! He had an important message about the environment that he wanted to share with all of us and he was going to shout it out to the world no matter what, and he did! Did he do a good job? Well… um… err…. I’ll say this much. He did a better job than every of us who would have succumbed to self-doubt and NOT made the movie. Also, here’s a bit of advice from Ol’ Jeremy for you young people: The difference between someone who’s good at something and someone who’s bad at something isn’t that the former has more talent than the latter. It’s that the person who is good at something has the insight to know when they’re doing it wrong and learn how to do it better. Talent doesn’t hurt of course, but it doesn’t determine the quality of the art. It only determines the speed at which you learn how to do your craft well. For some people it takes a long ass time.
I would make fun of the terrible CGI, except the “special” effects don’t really rise to the level of CGI. It looks more like a bunch of GIF animations inserted into the film. I mean, props to the director for doing the best he could with what he had and having the courage to not give a shit what people thought, but buddy… you needed to go to some film schools and schmooze some of the people who were studying computer effects. It’s amazing what a few supportive compliments and a credit in the movie will get you. A hundred bucks won’t hurt either.
Okay, what’s this about? SYNOPSIS:
It is a tender love story. A graphic horror shocker. An urgent ecological warning. And around the world, it became the must-see ‘midnight movie’ sensation of the year: From writer/producer/director/visionary JAMES NGUYEN – The Master of the Romantic Thriller – comes the story of a sexy lingerie model (WHITNEY MOORE) and a successful software salesman (ALAN BAGH) on a weekend getaway to a quaint Northern California town. But when the entire region is attacked by millions of homicidal birds, their picturesque paradise becomes a winged hell on earth. Can mankind now survive the avian onslaught of BIRDEMIC? Hollywood legend Tippi Hendren of Hitchcock’s THE BIRDS makes a Special Appearance in the global cult movie phenomenon that Videogum says “might end up being the greatest film of all time!”
Great synopsis! It’s exciting. It’s easy to read. It gets right to the point. It does have one whopper of a lie though. Tippi Hendren is not in this movie. She’s only very briefly seen on a TV in the background. Apparently, it’s footage from another movie that James Ngyen directed called “Julie and Jack” which I now have to see because he’s suddenly become my favorite director.
Anyway, back to Birdemic. I realize that this is a very famous bad movie and, while I had heard of it before, I had never actually seen it because it looked like one of those bad-on-purpose films and I don’t like those. You can’t fake true madness any more than you can fake true genius. So I figure there isn’t a lot to say about it other than it is EPIC. This is like that time I watched two really drunk guys try to get a huge sofa down a narrow flight of stairs. I just couldn’t look away. This is right up there with “Things” when it comes to a movie that gets everything wrong in every possible way. It’s brilliant!
Lastly, always my favorite: Top ten thoughts and observations about this movie:
#1 I think it says a lot about the movie that I can’t tell whether the director is trying to do Dutch angles or if the camera slipped from his hands and he didn’t notice.
#2 I can’t describe how bonkers the editing is, especially during the dialogue scenes where there’s a cut every one or two seconds so I’ll just lie and say its “Bold” and “Experimental”
#3 Yes, I’m sure that Ford Mustang rental car is a hybrid that gets 100mpg.
#4 Uh, I don’t think models go to the One Hour Photo to do photoshoots. I mean, I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure I’m right.
#5 I’m in awe of how Ngyen managed to sweet talk his actors into doing half this shit.
#6 I’m pretty sure people take their clothes off for sex at some point. It’ll chafe if you leave them on. I promise you that.
#7 I don’t know what would be scarier. Being attacked by birds or being attacked by those terrible special effects.
#8 Uh, where did they get guns? Oh wait, this takes place in the United-States. Never mind.
#9 I’m not sure Director James Ngyen knows how global warming works. I’m not even sure he knows how birds work.
#10 Ah yes. Ending on a freeze frame. Perfection! Chef’s Kiss!
BIRDEMIC is available for free on Tubi if you want to check it out.