Now for the record, I love trailers. Some are good and some are bad and usually they’re just slapped together sloppily to promote the movie. But the best trailers are the ones that don’t give the movie away. “The Exorcist”, “Night of the Living Dead”, “Psycho”, those are trailers that didn’t give the movies away, and the most essential part of a trailer like the movie is the music. Compiled is a list of songs I’m begging Hollywood to retire from movie trailers that decrease the value of the movie and ruin the experience. Let me tell you what triggered my meltdown. I was at home watching “Cinenews,” a program I watch to keep up with upcoming movies. It’s a great show, and at the end of the program they feature a trailer for a movie coming soon. Up comes the trailer for “Monster-in-Law” and during the trailer on comes a commonly used song and something just snapped. These songs need to be retired for the love of humanity, I mean I’m not saying these songs suck, as a matter of fact, some of the songs I’m about to list, I love–but god retire them before they start sucking! Does modern music suck so bad they just have to keep re-using this stuff again and again?!
A lot of these songs have been used constantly in romances and romantic comedies, and I’m sure there are plenty more romantic songs that could be used. Music is essential to the mood of the movie. It sets forth the atmosphere and increases tension the filmmakers are trying to convey to the audience. Rock, hip hop, symphony music, it’s all been used, and some trailers use music to help increase the mood of the movie, much recently the trailer to “Dawn of the Dead” remake which had an amazing music score, and “Haute Tension” which is a good trailer, but dear god, there have been songs that have been used over and over and over for the past decade that I just can not hear anymore, and there are certain songs I’d love to think of without unwillingly associating it with yet another crappy Jennifer Lopez film, or cookie cutter romantic comedy. So to Hollywood I’m asking:
It’s best to remind readers that it’s not completely the fault of these songs. It’s these movie producers and directors who grew up in the 60’s and began to put all of their favorite songs from that time into their movies and while it was amusing at first, it’s become tiresome by now. If the makers go beyond these listed and widen their lexicon of music and artists, then perhaps there will be hope for the movie-going public.
RESPECT
Ah yet another female empowerment anthem from the queen Aretha Franklin that I simply can not stomach anymore. If I complained about Rescue Me, well Respect simply takes the cake, and this is just yet another overplayed burned out song that used to be very catchy, but now is just irritating to listen to, especially when its hocked on movie trailers relentlessly from romantic comedies, right down to children’s films, and it’s still a really tied song. I’m pretty sure Aretha Franklin has a humongous discography of songs that could apply to movie trailers, yet this and Rescue Me continue to be used relentlessly. And for the record, it’s still not good even when sung by a cute little girl in “Are We There Yet?”
Rescue Me
Not that this is a bad song, because it is, it’s just that this song has been getting played on trailers ever since the eighties and late seventies, and I just can not take it anymore. Hey, I like Aretha Franklin, and I respect her for her legendary status, but give me a break with this song, already. I’ve never heard such an overplayed anthem as this utterly pointless song before, and they really need to bring this down from the movie trailers and give us a break.
Dude Look Like a Lady
Yes, this is yet another really crappy song from the really crappy band Aerosmith. These guys stopped being rock a long time ago, and this upbeat, corny pop song is evidence. Dude Look like a lady is played every time there’s a movie featuring a cross-dressing man, and it was especially featured in the trailer for the really good “Mrs. Doubtfire”. This song which is basically a story about a man who was about to have sex with a sexy woman and ended up discovering it was really a man hence the line:”Then she whipped out her gun, tried to blow me away”. Though the lyrics of the song are awfully funny, the song sucks really badly and is probably one of the most over-played songs during trailers I can think of.
Solsbury Hill
I like this song from Peter Gabriel. Much like the residents on this list, it’s a light, airy, sweet little diddy that I can’t help enjoy, but god, stop the madness. This has been on many, many movie trailers lately, including the great film “In Good Company”, and it even plays in the last moments of the film. His sweet song about being taken to heaven and led to the promise land is a nice little song, but please, do not make me hate this when I’m just starting to like it. It’s ultimately just used to make a movie seem likable and it’s a rather manipulative ploy, and Peter Gabriel sucks anyway, so there’s no point in burning this song out again, and again. While the music has basically been new to playing in trailers, it’s already past its prime, so put it to sleep.
Play that Funky Music/That’s the Way
I lumped these two together since they basically sound the same, and are from the same band. I like these songs a lot, and they’re probably two of my all-time favorites which is why I can’t stand seeing them be demolished any longer in crappy film trailers. Mostly shown during movies that feature white boys acting black, or white boys dancing, this is just a tired old son that just can’t play it anymore with these movies. And then there’s “That’s The Way” which is repeatedly churned out again and again and rehashed by different musicians again and again just pissing all over these two really good songs. How unoriginal can these studios be?
The Lion Sleeps Tonight
For the record, I hate this song by the Nylons. I hate it with a passion. I didn’t like it the first time I heard it, I didn’t like it the second time I heard it, and I hated it the next three-thousand times I heard it, so you can imagine why I’d be annoyed every time it appears on a movie trailer. This is a repeat offender that is often shown in trailers featuring animals, on trailers with an animal themed plot, or when it’s alluding to sex. This is also a repeat offender shown during comedies in a moment that leads to sex, or during animated films that include jungle animals of all things, it is offensive because it’s a crappy song. Put this lion to sleep, it bites. Corny, eh? Yeah, I can be allowed some corniness with such a shitty song.
Walking On Sunshine
This is a very decent cute little upbeat rock tune by Katrina & the Waves involving being happy and–walking on sunshine after something good has just happened to you, and there’s even a cute little anecdote about my childhood attached to this song (ask me and I’ll tell you sometime), but I swear to god, if I hear this fucking song one more time, I’m going to have to murder someone, or at least pistol whip them. I don’t know how many times you can hear this song before you start to roll your eyes and the constant usage is in these upbeat often cheesy cookie cutter romantic comedies meant to spark some sense of a smile to the audience once a character has met their special someone in the film, but god it’s just tired. Just put this bitch to sleep and spare us.
This Will Be
This song from Natalie Cole is probably the most severe offender of late and has been prominently featured in two big romantic comedies coming up soon which will surely blow, the Diane Lane-John Cusack upcoming comedy “Must Love Dogs”, and Jane Fonda’s “Monster in Law”, and could there be a more irritating song that has ever been made? This is one of the few songs I despise that has been used constantly. The lyrics refer to a positive outlook to a new relationship with hopes of an everlasting love, but it’s basically just used as an intro into a more tumultuous plot headed for the main characters of the movie, but it’s tired and weak and has a really irritating set of lyrics that aren’t exactly profound. I hated this song then, and I hate it even more now. It’s bad.
DIS-HONORABLE MENTIONS
Under Pressure – David Bowie and Queen
Let my love open the door – Pete Townshend
Baby Love – The Supremes
Sugar Pie Honey Bunch
Good Lovin’ – The Rascals
Many thanks to my uncle Freddy for his beyond extensive knowledge
of music, letting me pick his brain, and for his help with this article.