Supercross (2005)

SupercrossIf you needed any verification towards the quality of “Supercross” you need look no further than the first ten minutes. After our character narrates that he and his brother are close, and that just because they’re close doesn’t mean they never compete, and that their father dreamed of having them as Supercross stars, we’re subjected to a nearly ten minute long opening featuring a montage of motocross sequences set to a dramatic scores and flickering credits. Oh joy. And then there’s the actual film after the stunt show. We’re dragged along with pool cleaners whom rely on their jobs and have nothing else in their lives except their job, which they rely on, and their bikes.

Because, racing is in their hearts; and it’s what they live for. And all that crap. “Supercross” shamelessly rips off the plot from the superior “Blue Crush” and not even the delectable Sophia Bush could sway me to remotely enjoy this crap fest. Bad acting, horrible music, and a film whose sole intent is to market on a fad and really nothing more, take your pick from this grab bag of swill. Between many motocross scenes with stunt doubles in place of our actors (with the director cutting to their eyes every so often to assure us it’s them at the handlebars), and cameos from motocross celebrities, we’re really given a very dumb story.

Our hero Casey is in love with a high class girl, and his friends basically experience their own troubles and tribulations in the romance and sports world. “Supercross” is basically just a recruitment video glorifying the world of the sport, much like the old John Wayne war movies glorified war. And there’s not a single cliché here that the writers don’t revel in exploring. The stable leader, his jealous hot headed brother, the leader’s girlfriend who is on her way to a big career that could break them up, his entry into the big time, his dealing with it, every character looks like a super model, and then the inevitable big showdown/tournament where he proves himself to everyone. And then there are the numerous loud motocross scenes, ad nauseum.

“Supercross” is a thirty minute cliché wrapped in a sports infomercial, accompanied with interludes of product placement. Neither of which is ever a watchable endeavor. It’s a film that I can imagine will have a future of being shown in grade school classrooms and still be booed. And, what the hell is Robert Patrick doing in this?! Finally, we get “Supercross: The Movie”, which basically fills in the holes “Supercross: The Novel” left behind. Seriously though, you just can’t take a movie like this too seriously, because it’s a big joke with every cliché and sports montage thrown in only to cash in on a fad. Movies like this just have to be laughed into obscurity.