Our Favorite Big Bads!

What do we mean by our favorite big bads? Don’t be fooled, we’re not listing our all time favorite Kaijus, because we’re not big kaiju fans. What we are fans of are giant monsters, monsters that stomp, monsters that destroy, and monsters with a point and purpose. Since “Cloverfield” is going to be stomping into theaters January 18th with incredible anticipation and mystery, we thought ringing in the anticipated film with a list of our all time favorite giant monsters would be a kick.

So we sifted through our library of movies, we googled a lot of giant monsters and we went through some of our favorites. In the end, even though we liked Gamera, and Mothra, and Mechagodzilla, and even though we passed on some like Voltron, and the beast from The Relic, we couldn’t help but feel a giant affection for these monstrous furious baddies who took a small city and made it their bitch. Some of these are commentaries on nuclear war, some of these are commentary on space travel and disrupting our oceanic settings, and some of these are just plain old mean and angry beasts who take joy from eating helpless citizens and hapless police officers.

“Cloverfield” and a mysterious giant monster wreaks pure bloody havoc on New York City soon, and we thought that it was the right time to invite some contemporaries over in hopes that JJ Abrams’ monster ends up as horrifying as these fine individuals. Lock up your children, call the army, and ready your tanks, these baddies are on the prowl!

THEM!
One of the many themes of the nuclear age was radiation. Many movies revolved around paranoia of the nuclear age, the fear of radiation, and the fear of the ill-effects of radiation and the nuclear bomb. “Them!” is that product of that fear that explores giant creatures spawned from the nuclear age and radiation that turns them into giant ants wreaking havoc on the New Mexico countryside. For its time, “Them!” is one of the more grim and stern monster horror movies that, due to the budget, only really features the giant ants as an evil presence lurking in the shadows rather than always hogging the screen for effect.

The ants are often sighed but never shown and we only gain a sense of their chaos, meanwhile we can only really hear the rustling of the ants whenever they’re around and this adds a better sense of horror that these monsters will inevitably attack and begin their blood thirsty rampage. When the path of destruction becomes apparent and the source of the attacks making clear that there are indeed giant monsters alive and nesting nearby the film then becomes a man vs. animal horror film that features the use of flame throwers and the military along with a great many moments of ant carnage as they murder victims with their strong pinchers.

The ants almost overpower humanity, which sets the stage for an all out military attack on the queen and the nest, and the ants make their potential seen to all that cross their paths.  “Them!” is really very much a commentary on the dangers of nuclear radiation, and like many films of its time, it’s a firm warning and message to the military that nuclear war is a potentially dangerous and incredibly lethal form of extinction for mankind if we’re not careful. Though we may not feature giant monsters, “Them!” is really just symbolic of only one of the many possible results of weapons of mass destruction. It’s one of the rare mature giant monster movies that set the stages for another giant monster that rose from the ocean…

The T-Rex
Never has a T-Rex been such an imposing and horrifying figure of pure animosity, and evil. Never has there been such a grim and powerful force of nature since “Jurassic Park” first introduced its version of the T-Rex, which stomped its way into theaters and traumatized many children. The T-Rex is a pure monster of utter destruction and calculating to boot. It made for some of the most rousing entertainment in the sequel of “Jurassic Park” where it stomped through suburbs, ate unsuspecting dogs, and strived to teach people that it was the king. In “Jurassic Park” it was often a monster kept in the dark for the first portion of the story. We knew the T-Rex was near, we knew it loomed in its pit, and once the electric gates were ripped to shreds, we knew it was on the hunt for fresh blood.

Spielberg presented us with two different versions of the T-Rex for both of the “Jurassic Park” films. In the first, the T-Rex was more of an omnipresent sense of danger that lurked over our victims heads and it was presumably a male. It was the most feared genetic experiments of the park, and it was also an erratic monster that could be anticipated in behavior and attitude, but was hard to dodge and outrun when it decided to attack. Take for the example its curious investigation on the tour jeeps when the park breaks down. Its curiosity was matched only by its power and animal instinct, and when it lurked in the mud and rain only succeeded by the thunderous rumble that could be signaled by rippled in puddles of water, you knew that our characters were in trouble.

Spielberg opted for the more familial T-Rex by showing two parent T-Rex monsters that roamed around the forgotten island of  Jurassic Park with its baby in tow. The T-Rex’s were still pure harrowing animals, but there were two and they had a reason for such chaotic attitude beyond animal instinct. They were protecting their kidnapped child, and they were out for blood. Either way, the T-Rex kept its hold on the series and became one of the most popular dinosaurs in the franchise rivaled only by the Raptors. Sure we love those strategic foot soldiers, but in the department of giant monsters, the T-Rex takes the cake.

The Cyclops
The 7th Voyage of Sinbad brought about one of the most interesting creatures of the Harryhausen imagination that fans have seen and probably never will see again. Harryhausen never really stuck faithfully to mythology when it came to manifesting his creatures into the world he was set to create, his UFO’s were different, his Kraken was different, and surely enough his octopus didn’t have the right number of tentacles. But who cares? With the Cyclops, that only adds to the charm since Harryhausen opts for a more Minotaur sort of beast that acts as a calculating monster more than a mindless creature. Greek mythology is fun, but for films like this, Harryhausen really went for his visceral feelings and he hardly ever failed.

Harryhausen added pep to a veritable already interesting mythology and the Cyclops adds to the appeal and overall atmosphere to the film that “The 7th Voyage of Sinbad,” a great swashbuckling movie that’s, let’s face it, well known mainly for its monsters. There’s the snake lady, the incredible fight scene with the skeletal soldiers, and of course there’s the Cyclops which adds to the overall obstacle and makes for some of the best scenes including his attacks with spears, his maiming of Sinbad’s men and his quest for the lamp that the character Sokurah steals from its caves.

The Cyclops is not only iconic, but a vicious beast that manages to overpower the numbers in the sailors who are forced to defend themselves against it, and inevitably two more make their way to the warriors later in the story which Sinbad skillfully stops. If The Cyclops bears any resemblance to the Ymir, then it’s not just your imagination. Much of the same design was used for the Cyclops, including the skeleton, and it works without fault, as Harryhausen retreads, but makes it feel like an entirely new creation, in the end.

The Ymir
Following the tradition of monsters destroying famous landmark cities, Ray Harryhausen birthed one of his own monsters for the sake of the monster sub-genre that started from a small creature into a humongous beast that managed to take Rome and destroy many of its monuments. “20 Million Miles to Earth” is that Ray Harryhausen film that continues to remain an interesting “King Kong” take off with the monster Ymir managing to outgrow the popularity of the film itself. It was a stowaway on a jettisoned space trip from the planet Venus, and inevitably found its way into the oceans of Rome in hibernated stage.

Discovered as a gooey cocoon, the Ymir is born as a small creature that remains confined to a cage, until suddenly it begins gradually growing and slowly improving in weight and strength. Suddenly the Ymir discovered by a small boy is really another giant monster that really only becomes vicious because it’s consistently provoked, especially when its attacked by a farmer’s dog which it then mauls in fright. Much like King Kong and Mighty Joe Young, the Ymir’s manifestation is only the result of confusion and man made obstacles that turn against it when it attempts to make sense of its surroundings and own genetics.

Like the aforementioned monsters, it’s only violent because civilization made it that way, and every ounce of carnage is a product of fear, confusion, and response to aggression. It tumbles buildings, is attacked by scared onlookers with weapons, and knocks down behemoths of animals like an elephant, only to fall victim to manmade war machines. Harryhausen’s monster movie is another commentary on the dangers of space exploration and, with a spiked tail and a thunderous high pitched squeal, this once harmless creature becomes a horrifying monster at the hands of the aggressive man, the monster a true classic in the Harryhausen legend.

The Blob
Would another remake truly depict the carnage of the Blob? It’s hard to say really. If we’re going for a hard R, then perhaps. Although at this point I don’t see what else they can do that both great versions of the story haven’t already accomplished. The Blob, an alien organism from Mars, crash lands on Earth, and is discovered by a hapless hobo and his dog. Little do we know that by that small discovery, mankind faces an almost unstoppable force of nature: The Blob. Born from pure heat, the Blob is a faceless, formless beast that thrives on heat, and grows only by the feeding of every living thing in its path.

Facing off against a small town, it displays a mindless wave of a feeding frenzy that really has no method to its madness. It just lands on our planet, lurks about, and feeds whenever it finds the chance to. One of the best examples of its carnage was in the eighties remake which successfully retold the tale with a blob that was even more vicious than the first. It ate children, women, and even massacred a theater of movie-goers. Starting out as a small ooze which then catapults into gargantuan proportions once it begins to outwit and outrun humans and helpless animals, the Blob is one of the more ambiguous monsters of the sub-genre.

It’s almost senseless in its hunger, like a Crocodile and doesn’t spare a single soul, and all we really learn is that it despises pure cold which humans can rarely obtain. The blob, infamous for its red substance and straightforward unpretentious origin really manages to be a creature to reckon with that swallows everything in its means and inevitably falls under the wrath of subzero temperatures. In the original film, the blob is dropped into the Antarctic in a frozen state and even though it’s stopped, it’s far from dead. That’s the appeal to the blob. You can stop it in its tracks, but the method to destroying it has yet to be discovered.

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man
It just goes to show that with the right evil at play, even the most innocent of corporate characters can become pure forced of diabolical nature. Mickey Mouse, Ronald McDonald, and the Stay Puft Marshmallow man, the stomping growling giant monster comprised of manifested demonic energy, and a random image in the mind of an idiot that makes for one of the greatest climactic moments in one of the funnier horror comedies of all time. The Stay Puft Marshmallow man is actually the incarnation of Gozer the Sumerian God who takes on the form of our thoughts. The beast that takes the New York City high rise implants the psychology and in an effort to clear their minds, Ray Stantz attempts to beat the Gozer the Gozerian at its own game and think of something completely harmless.

Surely enough the corporate cartoon Stay Puft came to mind, and surely enough it was manifested into a gigantic stomping monster that raged through New York city stomping locals, and attempting to make its way up to the Ghostbusters. The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man became a very popular character from the mid-eighties to early nineties and for good reason, it’s one of the best moments of the fantastic movie, and Stay Puft, thanks to a combination of traditional effects, still has an amazing luster to its appeal and has yet to look shoddy, even in the age of CGI. The Stay Puft Marshmallow man roaming through the streets, whizzing by three story windows is still an awe inspiring sight to behold, and it’s a brilliant creation in the horror comedy genre that remained prevalent for years on end. Only recently did Stay Puft regain his popularity through the much anticipated “Ghostbusters” game, and he’s still as oddly creepy as ever.

Mighty Joe Young
Mighty Joe Young may not have ever been as popular as King Kong, but as a contemporary, he’s pretty underrated. He’s cute, humongous, and an all around interesting opposite to the King. Sure the 1998 Disney remake looked amazing, but the entire point and spectacle was gone. Young was turned into another giant ape, and everything individual about its design was basically lost. For the true Mighty Joe Young, though, you need to look no further than the original by artists Willis O’Brie, and Ray Harryhausen who turned Mighty Joe Young from monster into an oversized ape who was a pure astonishing sight to behold. Big eyes, and a general child-like temperament, he was a humongous ape who really was in the wrong world.

But you have to give it to Joe Young for really becoming a hero when the chips were down, unlike Kong who ended up being more of a confused monster. In one of the most gut-wrenching climactic moments of the film, Joe Young proves his worth as a hero by saving a bunch of orphans in an orphanage that is burning down. Sure, in today’s world it sounds like a trite cliche, but watching the movie really gives you a grasp on what type of creature Joe Young was. He was fierce, but deep down he was just misunderstood, and was preyed upon by a human audience just anxious to make him into a sideshow, take for example his battle with a mighty weight lifter, and his tussle with three poor lions who fall under his might. “Mighty Joe Young” is very much like King Kong. He’s an ape who lived in his own world and was immigrated to man kind to behold, but unlike Kong, he had owners who he took an awful liking to and proved himself to be much more than a mindless monster.

Gwoemul
I’m in the field of people who really don’t know why this film inspired such a split audience. Yes, I know that everyone has their own opinions, blah blah, but “The Host” or “Gwoemul” is an absolute masterpiece of modern giant monster movie making, and it really deserved to take America by storm, in the end. Why is a modern monster given such a heavy spot on our list? Mainly because “The Host” really managed to be a fantastic and superior monster movie effort, with a beast that was genuinely disgusting and powerful.

To boot, it followed in the tradition of the classic monsters and posed as a walking symbol of pollution, environmental disaster, and the inherent recklessness of scientists in the name of research. The movie itself possesses everything great about filmmaking with just the right touch of Godzilla to spice things up. It’s funny, it’s horrifying, it’s tense, and damn is it ever a touching portrait of a family brought together by the kidnapping of their youngest. And to only make it a better excuse to embrace, “The Host” also has some considerable political subtext. But then there’s also the monster who is a Codfish that manages to mutate thanks to a freak accident with Formaldehyde.

Born from pollution and inevitably a terrorist on the Korean Han River hibernating and looming in the darkness and eventually rising from the depths of the river to wreak havoc on all the curious spectators attempting to make sense of the inexplicable monster. The Host is very much of a clumsy monster that doesn’t seem completely focused on wreaking havoc as it does on nesting, but it is a force to be reckoned with and it does often eat humans and disposes of the bones in its secret hide out. The Host is a legitimate threat for a country crippled by confusion and its own government, that’s where monsters can dominate more appropriately, after all.

King Kong
Kong almost died a gruesome death thanks to the awful remake in the 80’s, but Peter Jackson succeeded in creating a pretty good remake in 2005 that managed to win the raves from many. The original Kong, though, is STILL king, baby. Kong’s life lies not only in the special effects but in the inadvertent flaw from the special effects that were implemented to bring this giant ape king to life. Willis O’Brien’s claymation models were fantastic but sadly enough his finger impressions always appeared on the film, so while it is a fault in the model, it adds a sense of genuine appeal to Kong who is life like even as a clay monster ape, and really does bounce off the screen.

Kong’s own emotions were barely focused on in the original, but that’s a good thing. In the original we knew that Kong was King, Kong fell for Ann Darrow, and Kong died for his loved one who wouldn’t love him back. It wasn’t over explained like the remake, because it didn’t need it. King Kong was a man who fell under the throes of an inadvertent femme fatale, a woman who was beautiful and yet so deadly to his livelihood.  A beast that was worshipped in his home land and feared by many was suddenly so emasculated by the giant civilization which he was forced to endure, and he couldn’t quite understand why.

But even with all the themes, Kong is a horrifying and brutal giant monster who took the city under the throes of his brute strength, and battled mankind’s monstrosities. Kong was a tragic figure of the monster movie subgenre even as a black and white monster and looking down at the gun shot wounds the planes give him still gives me a lump in my throat to this day. It’s King Kong, he’s an icon, he’s that incredible ape on the Empire State Building. No replacements needed.

GOJIRA/GODZILLA
Not even a really, really bad over hyped remake in 1998 featuring an asexual godzilla birthing obnoxious babies and being chased by Leon and Ferris Bueller could bring down the King of all Monsters. Sure, it took a few years for Godzilla to win his respect back, but back in 2006, Gojira was still around kicking ass in Toho films while America’s uber-zilla was literally promoting Dorito’s in commercials. The godzilla in the remake didn’t look bad at all. He looked very sleek and cool and he was a vicious monster, but… it wasn’t Gojira. Not in the least. Sorry Kong, but Gojira IS the king of all monsters after all. Though Willis O’Brien’s amazing stop motion animation was fantastic, Godzilla has become one of the most iconic giant monsters of all time and a veritable household name. Though Kong is himself an icon, especially in New York, Godzilla just tickles our fancy more.

His series, however awful it can be from time to time, is still one of the most enduring action series with assorted characters, various giant monsters and his own rogue gallery who take him on all the time, including his very own BIzarro Godzilla, Mechagodzilla. It speaks well of a character when he can survive a horrible retread from Hollywood, and still go on to be the best of the best fighting baddies like Mothra, and Ghidora, and weathering idiotic supporting characters like Jet Jaguar, and his useless petulant son. Cat faced, large spines, and a roar that’s as instantly recognizable as the Superman S, Gojira has gone from a horrifying statement of Nuclear testing, to a corny campy action character personified by a man in a suit, to an ultra chic giant monster with a following and excellent tie-ins.

He’s also a monster that’s managed to change in appearance over the years without losing his appeal and recognizable aspects. His spines have become bigger and bigger, his roar more incredible, along with varying powers, but he’s still Gojira at heart. In the end he’s a character that looks much better on paper than on film, but his rabid following doesn’t care either way. Even with a horrible animated series in the seventies, and a hit or miss gallery of movies, Gojira is still the meanest baddest mamajama, and while Kong is wonderful, he doesn’t have a song after him. Oh no! There goes Tokyo, go, go, Godzilla!