It’s kind of weird that I hadn’t reviewed Attack of the Killer Tomatoes yet since it was more or less my introduction to bad movies. I remember being about ten years old and hearing whispers about it on the playground. Kids would talk about having watched this movie with the same kind of eerie somber tone reserved for describing how they saw the ghost of a dead grandparent standing at their bedroom door. “You won’t believe what I saw last night, but…”
So, how does it hold up nearly forty years later? Well, let’s find out!
When all the tomatoes in the world simultaneously start to grow in size and strength, and then proceed to kill every human they encounter, the president tasks Mason Dixon (David Miller) to form a team that can fight the tomato menace. This includes a master of disguise, a scuba diver, an East German Olympic swimmer, and a WW2 parachutist. Then, as the “team” gets eaten one by one by the tomatoes while Dixon stumbles around ineffectively trying to figure out what’s going on, the president also sends out his press secretary to hire an ad agency to do damage control over the devastating tomato attacks on the public. Meanwhile, news reporter Lois Fairchild is conducting her own investigation and trying to get Dixon to reveal the government conspiracy. Oh, and there’s also an assassin trying to kill Dixon for some reason.
The film is a precursor to parodies like “Airplane!” except with cheesier jokes. Some of these jokes land, like the sight gag of a bunch of military generals trying to have a secret meeting in a room that’s way too small. Some of them don’t, like the VERY dated humor in a scene with a ridiculously dubbed Japanese scientist. It’s a mixed bag to be honest, but much of it is helped by the zippy pacing and the film’s short runtime. So if a scene isn’t working, you can at least be sure that it won’t last very long.
Personally, I feel that this is a relic of the late seventies. There’s an anarchic stoner energy to the film that is very much of that era. Just read any old National Lampoon magazine or watch the original cast on Saturday Night Live to understand what I mean. Movies today are too expensive, too self-conscious, too market tested to be like this. This is a movie made by people who gave absolutely no thought at all to how an audience would react. They filmed stuff that they thought was funny and then released it as a film and hoped we would think it was funny too. This feels like a breath of fresh air compared to most modern movies which are so obsessively trying to please that they feel cringey and awkward and, most devastatingly of all, predictable. Because, if nothing else, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes will surprise you with some of the crazy random stuff it comes up with.
TEN THOUGHTS I HAD WATCHING THIS MOVIE:
#1 – The filmmakers name dropping Hitchcock in the opening crawl text is a pretty ballsy move, because this movie ain’t Hitchcock. Hell, it ain’t even Gus Van Sant’s remake of Hitchcock.
#2 – The theme song is legitimately good. It’s catchy and funny. I hadn’t seen this movie in 20 years, probably more, and I still remember it. I’m humming it as I’m typing this review. It’s a banger.
#3 – Some jokes are so dated that I was laughing at the fact that someone had the balls to film this stuff more than at the jokes themselves.
#4 – I’d forgotten that Superman makes a cameo in this film. This isn’t a spoiler, because it’s not a surprise or a twist or anything. It’s just one of the films many many throwaway gags.
#5 – The acting is actually pretty good. It’s over-the-top and silly of course, but that’s what you want in something as ridiculous as this.
#6 – Here’s an example of this film’s humor: There’s a scene early on where a newspaper editor asks an underling to get him someone to cover the killer tomatoes. “Okay, just get me anybody in the special assignment desk.” The underling then tells him he can’t. “They’re all on special assignment!” Bah Dum Tsst! Yeah, that’s the kind of gold you’re gonna get.
#7 – Attack of the Killer Tomatoes features a bunch of stunts, a lot of different locations, a huge cast of characters, and even has a musical number or two. All this in a movie that cost almost four times less than the original Evil Dead which had one location and five characters. I was kind of amazed by this, because if you were to guess which movie was more expensive you’d guess wrong every time.
#8 – I actually believe that the song “Puberty Love” could destroy sentient murderous tomatoes. I only heard like 20 seconds of it in the movie and it almost destroyed me.
#9 – The filmmakers probably forgot to add a romance between Mason Dixon and Lois Fairchild, so they have the two fall madly in love about five minutes before the end. Now THAT is some quality writing. This is what I keep telling all low budget filmmakers. Don’t sweat the details. Don’t try to make it logical. Nobody notices this crap anyway. So have fun with it.
#10 – I would have bet my last dollar that this film ended with an ominous “THE END?” but it did not, and now I feel silly.
WAS IT REALLY A BAD FILM?
No, it isn’t bad at all, but it’s a bit of time capsule. If you’re under forty, some of the more “seventies” jokes will fly right over your head. However, I also think a lot of the absurdist humor is timeless and will appeal to pretty much anyone. I feel it’s worth a watch, it’s not a must see by any stretch of the imagination, but it can be entertaining if you’re in the right frame of mind. Plus, as of the date of this review, it’s on TUBI for free and you can’t beat the price can you?
Attack of The Killer Tomatoes is a 1978 Horror/Comedy starring David Miller as Mason Dixon, George Wilson as Jim Richardson, Sharon Taylor as Lois Fairchild, Stephen Peace as Wilbur Finletter, and Ernie Meyers as the President. It was directed by John DeBello and written by DeBello, Costa Dillon, and Stephen Peace.
