This may not be the first example of a Hicksploitation movie, but it’s certainly one of the more important ones. It pretty much paved the way for similar entries in the genre like The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974), The Hills Have Eyes (1977), or even Wrong Turn (2003). Without this one, you wouldn’t have those. Degenerate inbred illiterate hillbillies as the bad guys? Check! Naive city folk as the victims? Check! A twisted mix of Southern Gothic, Bugs Bunny Cartoons, and Exploitation Movie atmosphere? Double Check! This is the good stuff. This is the kind of movie that begs to be watched while sitting in the back seat of a musclecar at a seedy Drive-in, drunk on cheap beer, and making out with a stripper you picked up hitchhiking. There’s just no other way to truly appreciate insanity such as this. Hold on to your horses, because I’m going to review H.G. Lewis’ Two Thousand Maniacs!
Herschell Gordon Lewis’ previous movie, Blood Feast, was not great but I sensed a certain competence and efficiency behind the camera. It felt like he understood the limitations that he had to work with and tried to make those limitations work for him rather than needlessly fighting them, and after having watched so many bad movies over the last few years I can start to appreciate someone who isn’t trying to do grand cinema when all he has the budget for is seventy minutes of gory silly nonsense. Work with what you got. That’s the best advice you’ll get all day.
The film opens with two rednecks putting up “Detour” signs on the road after spotting some tourists driving cars with Northern license plates. This lures them to the scenic little town of Pleasant Valley Georgia. As this is happening, we get to listen to a truly legendary banjo anthem “The South’s Gonna Rise Again” sung by our man H.G. Lewis himself. It’s gleeful and stupid and demented, and you can’t help tapping your feet along with the music. It’s a proper hoedown if nothing else, and it certainly sets the tone for the rest of the film.
Two cars fall for the simple ruse. The first is driven by David Wells (Michael Korb), accompanied by his wife Beverly (Yvonne Gilbert) and another married couple, John and Bea Miller (Jerome Eden and Shelby Livingston). The second car carries Terry (Connie Mason) and a hitchhiker she picked up, Tom (William Kerwin).
All six of these “Yankees” then end up being a little bit too enthusiastically welcomed by the townfolks for a centennial celebration with promises of free food, lodging and entertainment by the Mayor. Now, since most of you are at least somewhat familiar with these kinds of movies I think you know what’s going to happen: Much of it involving cannibalism, insanity, dismemberment, Rube Goldberg murder machines, bullying, and a lot of toothless yokels hooting and a-hollering.
TEN THOUGHTS I HAD DURING THIS MOVIE
#1 Man, the early sixties were a time of beautiful cars. Younger people today often think it was all musclecars and hot rods, but it was actually big beefy cruisers like in this movie. I miss cars like that. You could drive your kids to school with them, go shopping, and then cruise down the road like you owned the place.
#2 I think there was something that felt so magical and sophisticated about women’s fashion in the early sixties. There’s a scene in the movie where Connie Mason is wearing a headscarf while driving to keep her hair in place and it’s just so… civilized. Like using a cigarette holder to smoke.
#3 Speaking of being fashionable, William Kerwin has the best haircut in all of low budget cinema. He looks so much like my grandfather, it’s kind of scary. He and Connie Mason were both in Blood Feast together, and he was later in another great sixties gore movie called The Playgirl Killer. I’m going to have to review that one someday, it’s a humdinger.
#4 If you ever end up in a weird place filled with overly cheerful people celebrating some vaguely sinister “anniversary” and they keep winking at you and calling you the guest of honor, run! Just say you have to take a shit and get the hell out of there. Leave your car. Leave your luggage. Leave your money. RUN!
#5 If the ending of the original Texas Chain Saw Massacre, where the Sawyer family are whacking poor Marilyn Burns over the head with a hammer is a bit too much for you, I think this movie might not be your cup of tea either. One of the first kills has a similar “feel” to that, albeit done in a far more cartoonish way. Still, it’s pretty ghoulish.
#6 In the interest of full disclosure, my ancestors fought in the American Civil War even though I’m from Quebec. I won’t say which side these idiot relatives were on, only that I’d be pretty safe from the two thousand maniacs in the film despite being a Northerner.
#7 The little boy, Billy, is probably the biggest maniac in the whole town, which is saying something. He’s straight out of a Twilight Zone episode about evil children.
#8 I will say that the poor victims in the film weren’t TOO stupid. I mean, they are being offered free lodging and food and ”fun”. I mean, this was 1965. I’m sure that back then people would expect the kind of hospitality that Andy Griffith, not Rob Zombie, would give you.
#9 A lot of people might call this movie offensive, moronic, grotesque and vulgar, to which I would gleefully reply: Yay-esss!
#10 I kind of like the way the twist ending is handled in the film. Obviously, it was more of a budget thing, but it was more than a bit subversive to suggest that people from 1865 would feel right at home in 1965 Georgia because not much had changed in that part of the United-States except fashion and electricity.
WAS IT REALLY BAD?
I think this is actually a pretty good movie, all things considered. It’s fast paced, for the most part. It has very decent acting. It’s got a lot of fun gory kills. Yes, it’s dated as hell. Yes, it’s kind of dumb and it was filmed for like twenty bucks. Yet, it has a spark of creativity to it that I just can’t help but enjoy. This wasn’t made to be a cult classic, this was made to play in a drive-in and then fade into obscurity forever, yet it persists because everyone cared enough to do their best. That’s to be respected. Some of you may not like this movie, and believe me I understand. There are certain movies like Martyrs or A Serbian Film that I just hate. So I understand that some people have a line they won’t cross, and that this movie may be on the other side of that line. If so, then go in peace and find something more peaceful to watch. However, if you’re curious about old fashioned movies, you could a LOT worse than this.
Two Thousand Maniacs! is a horror movie written and directed by H.G. Lewis It stars William Kerwin (credited as Thomas Wood) as Tom White, Connie Mason as Terry Adams, Taalkeus Blank (credited as Jeffrey Allen) as Mayor Buckman, Ben Moore as Lester MacDonald, and Gary Bakeman as Rufus Tate
