Crystal Lake, the Linda Cardellini-led television prequel, comes this month. To prepare, let’s rank the Friday the 13th series [Bob’s list]!
Like so many of us, I wholeheartedly love the Friday the 13th series. The camp slasher is the slasher of all slashers, with the hockey-masked Jason Voorhees becoming the emblem of 80s (and later) horror, along with Freddy Krueger. It’s nearly a rite-of-passage amount for fans to see one too young to be that entry point, whether it be the full version or the fun of the cut marathons on USA in our youth (in that way, Part 5 was my first. Imagine my confusion at the Roy reveal). Heck, Jason is still everywhere, and it doesn’t help that my house has so much memorabilia; my 5-year-old can identify him (and the other iconic killers).
It’s always remained in the public consciousness with all the games, books, toys, and more. This year, Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma explored the film’s connections to culture, personal development, and a meta overview of slashers through a perfect distillation of the films. And now a real entry is looming. The alternate-timeline prequel series Crystal Lake comes this month. Developed by Brad Kane, who showran last year’s fantastic prequel series It: Welcome to Derry, the 8-episode TV show follows the original killer, Pam Voorhees, in the years before she lost her head at Camp Crystal Lake to Alice. Now played by Linda Cardellini, I’m all in, although I honestly know little about the intended plot to fill in the backstory of the original film’s killer. I like the idea of taking a broader look at the town and the environment around the camp. As someone who loves to overthink my favorite properties, I wonder how the area has dealt with all this. It’s clear the Jarvis family of Part IV lives there year-round; others have cabins; the counselor training camp in Part II has been running for years without incident (until Jeff and Sandra ruined it, starting the week-long killing spree of II – IV). It’s ripe to use an established franchise to explore new aspects and outlooks.
But we’re not here to talk about the new show; we’re here to revisit the franchise that came before it. Felix has covered the series extensively in the past (I’ll link his articles at the end rather than peppering in except individual title reviews), but this is my first time writing about it for Cinema Crazed. So what better way to get ready for our summer (or October 15th) at Crystal Lake than to give my ranking of the series?
But let it be known, I love them. Even the “bad” entries have plenty I really dig. There’s something to love in even the lesser entries.
From least to best:
- Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993, W. Jay Huguely & Dean Lorey; Dir. Adam Marcus)
Jason the Deadite and body snatcher! I appreciate the idea of a big shift in how the series works (not unlike the new show, although a very different re-imagining), making something different after eight entries. But it’s a mess. A mess with great kills and a wonderful sense of menace in Kane Hodder’s third time in the mask. The issue comes in overcomplicating what has generally been simple, dropping piles of lore where unneeded and overall confusion; not to mention poor leads.
- Jason X (2001, written by Tod Farmer; Directed by James Isaac)
Goofy fun. Jason follows Leprechaun and Pinhead by heading into space. It mostly works. I love the utter cheapness of the sets; it sets the tongue-in-cheek tone that we know what we are. However, that’s also the downfall. After maybe the first two or three, the series has always been willingly aware of what it is: fun larks. Isaac’s script is a little TOO aware; where VI was clearly in on the joke, X took a step further into near parody, and it takes the steam out. UberJason is awesome though.
- VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989; written and directed by Rob Hedden)
Time to make the regular joke – Jason Takes a Boat to Vancouver. I like it. I don’t care. But I like them all. Yes, I’m ranking this far lower than most do, but dammit, I have a bit of a soft spot. It’s not the film’s fault Paramount keeps cutting the budget, and the MPAA has really got its ass up in the series’s ass at this point. Manhattan is delightfully stupid. [The Muppets and Jason both have taken Manhattan. When will we get the sequel to both of the films that establishes the dominance? I can’t wait for Muppet Jason akin to Uber Jason.]
- 2009 Remake (written by Damian Shannon & Mark Swift; directed by Marcus Nispel)
A solid remix of the first four films! Derek Meers is a great Jason, and he carries him very well. The kills are a bit underwhelming, and some parts try too hard, but it is no cheap revisit. Jared Padelicki (funny that the same month both Jared and his Supernatural brother, Jenson Ackles, were in remakes of 80s slashers, including the rather good My Bloody Valentine redo) is great as a revision of the Rob character from IV, and I LOVE the old camp. It has a great look.’
- The first TV show (1987- 1990)
Most of you are probably aware, but Crystal Lake isn’t the first show to carry F13 to TV. Okay, this 3-season run was not related to the name, but I’m counting it. It’s a good show, although it clearly ran out of steam before the end, with a find-and-replace plotting structure as a set of younger folks and an older man reclaim cursed objects (each episode is about 12 minutes too long, too). The items are cool, and I liked the characters. Freddy’s Nightmares was a much better show, but this has moments.
- VII: The New Blood (1988; written by Daryl Haney & Manuel Fidello; directed by John Carl Buechler)
Jason Vs Carrie! Like VIII, studio and MPAA fuckery limped the entry, but it still has solid energy. Notable characters, well-done (if bloodless) kills, and a skeevy Terry Kiser. The final battle between the underappreciated Lin Par Lincoln and Kane Hodder is awesome. Also the best of the Jason designs in the half-rotten bulk. It also has the sleeping bag kill, one of the best, and later parodied by Jason X and Camp Miasma.
- Freddy Vs Jason (2003; written by Damian Shannon & Mark Swift; directed by Ronny Yu)
Man, seeing this in theatres was a great experience. It was like going to WWE; screaming, yelling, rooting for our “hero”. Ronny Yu gives a raucous, active direction that never really stops, leaning into the pure cheese of it all. Robert Englund is clearly enjoying himself, and so does the audience. Some banger kills and moments – Jason, on fire, killing across a cornfield are top-notch. I rooted for Jason! Some shoddy CG weakens in the rear-view, and for F13 fans over Nightmare on Elm Street, it functions more as a Freddy movie with some Jason action, but overall melds them well. The finale at Crystal Lake is a blast.
- V: A New Beginning (1985; written by Mark Kitrosser & David Cohen and Danny Steinmann; directed by Danny Steinmann)
Yes, I’m serious. I legitimately really love this one. People hate it. I don’t. As noted above, it was my first. But I love the sheer go-for-broke killathon. The members of the halfway house are solidly sketched (as best as can be), and the dance! I love how lurid it is, super skeeve in the best ways. Something about its sheer goofiness connects with me. Or is Deborah Voorhees?
- Original (1980; written by Victor Miller, directed by Sean S. Cunningham)
Having seen this entry many times theatrically, let me say: it’s legit. Seeing it in the darkened cinema in teh surround sound, it is effective and actually scary at times, despite being meant to be a quick money maker in Halloween’s wake. Miller and Cunningham may have stumbled backward into it, but it’s the classic for a reason, with well-done pacing, just-cool-enough Tom Savini effects, and a banger of an ending. That ending here is both the iconic final scare (not the final scene, since the hospital is last) and the ridiculous Alice vs. Mrs. Voorhees finale. I love Betsy Palmer’s performance.
- VI: Jason Lives (1986; written and directed by Tom McLoughlin)
Here’s the top for so many, but a few down for me. It’s a total blast of pure energy, and CJ Graham’s Jason is great. McLaughlin works the comedy exceedingly well, just enough knowing (save that great bond opening). It has a delicious B-movie energy. It’s a party of a movie.
- Part III (or 3-d if you prefer) (1983; written by Martin Kitrosser & Carol Watson; directed by Steve Miner)
Jason gets his mask! I find this entry incredibly solid. Good characters, a great mean streak (introducing a parent begging a child not to go; a newly pregnant victim), and my 2nd favorite final girl. Miner works the suspense in holding off before the payoff, giving a great push when it does.
Coming within the quick 1980s 3-D craze (with Jaws 3-D and Amityville 3-D), it works the format best of them. I’ve seen it theatrically this way, and it brings a little more fun.
- Part IV: The Final Chapter (1984; written by Barney Cohen; directed by Joseph Zito)
The big crowd favorite. Tom Savini returns for a bevy of fantastic effects. Crispin Glover is a dead fuck with a great dance and glad he found that corkscrew! Corey Feldman makes a great final kid as audience insert Tommy Jarvis. Zito directs an A-plus entry of pure abandon, translating Zito’s Grindhouse outlook to a popular slasher.
- Part II (1981, written by Ron Kurtz; Directed by Steve Miner)
Bag-head Jason! I dress at this one at conventions! My favorite is the first sequel. Clearly inspired by Mario Bava’s Bay of Blood/Twitch of a Death Nerve. It looks great and has a fantastic atmosphere. I loved Steve Dash (with a bit of Warrington Gillette) as Jason. As noted in Part III, Miner does a great job holding sequences to just the right moment for great payoffs, such as Mark’s final ride down the stairs. Ginny is the series’s best final girl, and her confrontation is wonderful. Did you know Wes Craven directed the Betsy Palmer bits at the end? Cool!
Our journey to Camp Crystal Lake (and a boat/NYC) has come to an end. At least until October 15th, when Crystal Lake drops on Paramount. I’m signing up for the service specifically to watch this. What’s your favorite? Why am I wrong for putting V up so high?
What’s YOUR favorite kill?
Previous Friday the 13th articles on Cinema Crazed!
Jason Rising: A Fan Film; How Jason Lives Became my Favorite Friday the 13th; Never Hike in the Snow: A Friday the 13th Fan Film; Friday the 13th Collection from Shout; Five Funniest Moments in Friday the 13th Franchise; 13 Random Things About Friday the 13th; 13 More Random Things about Friday the 13th; Fan Theory: Why I Believe Roy Burns is Possessed by Jason Voorhees; Crystal Lake Memories: The Complete History of Friday th 13th Blu-Ray; Friday the 13th: Jason Vs Jason X; Friday the 13th: Mother’s Day; Welcome to My Nightmare: Freddy vs . Jason Twenty Years Later Comic Bucket List #5 – Freddy vs Jason vs Ash