Teenagers take refuge in a high school during the zombie apocalypse in the rote and dull This Is Not A Test. The film, written and directed by Adam MacDonald, releases on Shudder this week.
This is Not a Test is a bog-standard zombie movie with little to offer outside of the tropes. Tropes are fine; you can work with the expectations of a genre to tell something familiar at the core. But you must do something with it. SIFF film Body Blow took the cop-noir and put a flamboyantly colorful gay/drag world over it. Hell, Shaun of the Dead took the basics: a small group has to get ot safety, survive the night, deal with personal issues, and try to keep it together. Edgar Wright added a rom-com and made a classic. Anna and the Apocalypse did the same with a holiday coming-of-age musical. This Is Not A Test, directed by Adam MacDonald of the solid Backcountry and Pyewacket, also tries to be a coming-of-age story but fails to make its case by sticking to the basics and presenting them in a basic way, with no characters, no tension, and a dull time. Okay, there’s a slight attempt at teen drama within the zombies, but it’s faint. This is Not a Test is based on a book by Courtney Summers. I wonder if that element was larger and lost in translation. I’ve said before, Stephen King adaptations often lose the extra appeal when the standout elements are lost to make a feature-length.
Sloane’s life isn’t good right now. Her sister is gone, leaving her alone with her abusive father. She’s angry, underserved in her life, and desperately needs a change. That comes when the neighbors get bitey. Things come to things, and she, a mom and her teenage sons, the meek girl, the jock, and more archetypes start to cross the town to find safety, heading toward the high school. Makes sense, like I said, this slightly crosses into teen drama. There, they also find a creepy teacher. That goes as expected. Like the rest. You can guess how it goes.
This is Not a Test falls into the issue of familiarity for the viewer. As a film released by Shudder, the main set of eyes that will take in This is Not A Test are horror fans who have seen so many zombie films. With the barest hint of a hook – established with Never Have I Ever and kissing games, and pretty blah filmmaking to boot, all will say “I’ve seen this before.” So will I: I’ve seen this before. Thus making the key sin: it’s boring. The bickering doesn’t grab. The attempts at drama hit melodrama. The action sequences don’t do much. The character turns are foreseeable from their introductions. Thus, no tension can be found.
The cast does what they can, with Heart Eye’s Olivia Holt at the center. As she does there, she gives a grounded, solid work of pathos, almost elevating the script. Also on hand are Froy Guiterrez, Coreton Moore, Carson MacCormac, and Chloe Avakian. The writing does no favors, so it’s to parse any detail of character and understand. 
This is Not a Test, directed and written by Adam MacDonald, doesn’t have much to offer to horror fans. Olivia Holt leads and gives something to the nothing. Rote and drab, I don’t recommend taking the test. But if you do want to, check it out on Shudder on May 22nd.