Kylee Nash. Oh my god. Kylee Nash. Oh my god. Kylee Nash. Oh my god. Now that that’s out of my system, Fred Olen Ray has introduced us to a trio of women infinitely sexier than Charlie’s Angels and a lot funnier. Able to get in just about anywhere thanks to their assets, so to speak, they’re the best of the best. Even if they walk around half naked and with see through clothing even during top secret meetings. Hey, I don’t question the universe Fred Olen Ray unfolds, I just enjoy it.
Nikki, Sandy and Jasmine are three mind blowingly sexy secret agents who infiltrate missions and allow clients to potentially infiltrate them, and they’re given the assignment to investigate a crime ring forming under a famous porn mag that the trio suspects may be one of the former playmates from the magazine that were let go due to the magazine demanding younger models. I really liked the jabs at Playboy Magazine including the depiction of its head mogul as a sleazy deluded old man. You also have to love how the Squad meets in a very inconspicuous million dollar mansion in an upscale neighborhood. Again, I don’t question, I just enjoy. The fun thing about “Teenie Weenie Bikini Squad” is you don’t have to do much leg work with the plot as the foreshadowing signals a lot of entertaining material.
During the briefing Jasmine marvels at the beautiful photographer who happens to be an ex playmate, so you know there will be a girl on girl scene. Nikki makes friends with the bar owner of the magazine’s club run by a former playmate, so there’s two girl on girl scenes in the offing, and Sandy is forced to bond with the club owner as played by Evan Stone, so Olen Ray obliges with a man on woman sex scene. The sex is of course mostly simulated with no real shots of the crotch or penetration, but you can still enjoy the immense sexiness of the women put on display. Whether it’s the Bikini Squad, or the like of Kelli McCarty or Beverly Lynne, there’s just no shortage of incredible eye candy and laughs to boot.
The biggest laugh came from the forced cheer in the opening as the girls yell “We’re the Teenie Weenie Bikini Squad!” The best actress of the bunch is Brandin Rackley, who can switch from business attire to skimpy in seconds flat and still keep eyes on her. She’s probably the most dignified secret agent of the Squad, and yet is never above walking around in a see through shirt that shows off the goods. “The Teenie Weenie Bikini Squad” is a fun and hilarious bit of softcore erotica and comedy. And it’s one that’s permanently embedded the image of Kylee Nash in my brain. Director Fred Olen Ray fills the screen with insanely sexy women, and hilarious dialogue, as well as a trio of secret agents who put the Charlie’s Angels to shame. Considering it’s softcore erotica, it really does the trick in being entertaining and alluring.