After the (literally) seven minute long opening to “House of the dead”, I was almost sure this would suck as I instantly lost patience with this frenzied film; man, I should learn to listen to my instincts more. I sat in the theatres watching and squirming in my seat because I had to use the bathroom, and had pre-determined I would hold it until the movie ended (not wanting to miss out). After about ten minutes in, to the bathroom I went. What’s sad is that this is not only a bad movie, but a bad zombie movie with a lot of potential to it. With a plot off of “Zombie” and “Resident Evil”, the movie had a lot of chances to become innovative and creative yet Uwe Boll takes no chances and goes by the book.
Tag Archives: Comedy
The Powerpuff Girls Movie (2002)
Based on the hit animated action cartoon from The Cartoon Network in America, Professor Utonium is the focus of this feature as we delve into his life and learn how he created the disc-eyed crime-fighting tots Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup. Along with their origin finally being told, we also learn how they accepted their superpowers and learned how to use them for good. Alongside the Girls, an evil is looming in the darkness, an evil mastermind genius chimp named Mojo Jojo, who uses the girls’ naiveté for his evil master plan.
Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
The highly anticipated, long awaited, long talked about duel horror fans (including me) have been awaiting has finally come onto the big screen. After many many script changes, and remaining in ten years in movie making limbo, “Freddy Vs. Jason” has come. A new generation of kids have come to Elm Street and Freddy Krueger wants their souls, but his memory has long been extinguished by the parents of the previous years and he no longer has power over their kids’ dreams. Now, desperate to reclaim his power over the children and reincarnate his memory, he tricks the machete wielding, hockey masked killer Jason Voorhees (Ken Kirzinger) into rising from the grave once more to instill horror into the kids, but when Jason becomes too hot to handle, Freddy Krueger decides to take matters into his own hands and kill Jason himself. Who will win the ultimate undead battle? I’m not telling.
Stealing Harvard (2002)
Sure, this is a lame comedy, and surprisingly, I wanted to see this because I’m a big fan of Jason Lee. The movie is so silly and inept it’s pretty enjoyable. It’s not hard to see that much of the dialogue in the movie is improvised, especially by “comedian” Tom Green who looks like he made up his entire monologues. At one point he throws a paper ball into a car at a girl, and you can tell she wasn’t expecting it. Tom Green manages to be funny in some very rare parts of the movie and had me chuckling occasionally. Jason Lee whose starred in great films like “Dogma” and “Almost Famous” is a pretty good straight man in the film and just stands around reacting to Tom Green’s foolishness.
The Master of Disguise (2002)
Despite being panned by critics and landing at number — on IMDB’s worst 250 movies of all time, this is not awful. Considering all the horrible teen sex romps, this is a tolerable movie. Dana Carvey tries his hardest at forming these near flawless impressions of Al Pacino from “Scarface”, and (my favorite) Robert Shaw from “Jaws”.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder (2002)
Out of all the bad teen sex campus romps, to the classics, this has to be the worst most putrid piece of trash I’ve ever seen. This poor excuse for a comedy features the same old tired clichés we’ve seen from other sex romps except everything falls flat here. After about ten minutes into the film, I could tell the writers were scratching the bottom of the barrel with basically nothing to write in to the story. They even begin resorting to desperate measures by showing a butt shot of Merriman. Then there’s this far-fetched storyline that goes nowhere. How is it he’s able to rent a hall and hire his own employees? How is it he’s able to drive a personalized golf cart around campus when other people are walking? How is it he’s able to walk in and out of classes without the teacher’s complaining?
The Rules of Attraction (2002)
I really enjoy the performances from Van Der Beek and Sassamon. Shannyn Sassamon has a lot of charisma she brings to every role she’s in and she’s adorable. It’s a shame Van Der Beek isn’t in more movies because he conveys an intensity and wounded soul persona in this character and uses it to his advantage when he attempts to lure a woman to his room for sex. I don’t know why this notion came to my head, but I somehow expected to see something good in this film. Boy was I mistaken. This is another one of those teen sex dramas that parade the hottest young actors of the year accompanied by mass drug usage and a hard rock soundtrack.